QC FYI: Sesame Street’s Bert Is A Gay Fisting Top

Children’s educational TV show Sesame Street have long featured Bert and Ernie, two muppet guys who live together but sleep in different beds in New York City. They’re like The Odd Couple—Ernie likes making a big mess during bath time with his rubber duckie and Bert acts like an uptight, anal retentive fusspot. Well, the reason Bert might be so uptight is because he’s SECRETLY A GAY FISTING TOP!!!
It’s true. He made the following Tweet during gay pride month: “Ever notice how how similar my hair is to Mr. T’s. The only difference is that mine is a little more ‘mo,’ and a little less ‘hawk.'” We’ve tried figuring that one out, but our expert linguists have concluded it means he has a gay (or ‘mo) haircut. Looking at it, it is kinda gay, but it could definitely use more product… maybe some stiffening high-protein gel.
Now, a gay haircut is no reason to call a children’s entertainer gay (especially if they’re a muppet). But then The LA Times came along and provided more evidence that the most recent episodes of Sesame Street were brought to us by the letters G-A-Y.

In its own subtle, perhaps unintentional way, the show’s latest season feels more LGBT-friendly than ever. Lesbian comedian Wanda Sykes appeared on the show in October, following in the tradition of openly gay guest stars such as Neil Patrick Harris, who played ( cough, cough) “the shoe fairy” a few seasons back. A parody of “True Blood” — the HBO vampire drama that features several gay characters and draws many gay fans — aired in September. Recently, the Black Eyed Peas frontman will.i.am appeared on the show to sing “What I Am,” a song about accepting who you really are, prompting much online debate about its underlying message. “Did Will.i.am just sing the next gay pride anthem on Sesame Street?” one commenter on AfterElton.com asked.

Add to that the racy photos we found of Bert fist-fucking Ernie is his shapely round ass and Sesame Street begins looking a lot more like Sex Me Street. Plus Peter Spear’s film Bertrand And Ernest depicted Bert and Ernie as a couple outed by Variety magazine in a spoof based on Lillian Hellman’s The Children’s Hour, (the film really gets started at the 2:00 mark).

Even though the film rocked Sundance and the U.S Comedy Arts Festival, Sesame Street still slapped the film’s producers with a cease and desist order for copyright infringement adding, “[Bert and Ernie] do not portray a gay couple, and there are no plans for them to do so in the future. They are puppets, not humans.” Wait… THEY’RE NOT HUMAN???
Furthermore, the VP of Corporate Communications denied that the show’s trying to get more gays to watch: “We’ve always reached out to a variety of actors and athletes and celebrities to appear on the show, and our programming has always appealed to adults as much as children. Honestly, the idea that anyone would interpret [this season] that way never crossed our minds.” EIther way, even if Bert’s not 100% ‘mo, he’s at least got a rainbow streak as wide as Ernie’s butthole. The Sesame Street bigwigs might try to keep Bert in the muppet closet, but we who know can see his pink flag waving high above Big Bird’s condo.