Ask QC: He Can’t Cum!

Hey QueerClick!

I hope that I can get some help here because I don’t know what to do. I have been dating my partner for about two years now and pretty much everything is great. We are still madly in love and have fun every day we are together. There is just one problem—he has never ejaculated during sex. We have tried many times to get him to cum but nothing seems to work. He gets really horny during foreplay but when I go down on him or he goes inside me, he becomes flaccid pretty quickly. During this time, he produces a lot of pre-cum. He loves to do things to me I have no problems cumming for him. We have tried mutual masturbation but that doesn’t seem to work either. I have asked him to try to masturbate to porn in front of me but he doesn’t seem too happy about that idea. He seems to think that that won’t do anything.

Since we only see each other on the weekends, he is at his house Monday through Friday. He tells me that he masturbates quite regularly to gay and straight porn during that time (he is bi) and he says that he has no problems getting off then. He has tried stopping masturbating, but after three weeks of that and no luck, I told him that he could masturbate again because that doesn’t seem to be the problem. At first I thought his inability to cum was just him being embarrassed around me but after two years I would think this would go away.

We have no idea where to go from here. Should we see a sex therapist? Is there a medical reason for him becoming flaccid? Or, is there something we can do to help him through this? I love this man and I want everything to be perfect, especially our sex life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys,

KS

What a quandry! It sounds like KS really loves his fella and like his fella really wants to cum. But what is the issue her? Nerves? Psychological block? Bio-feedback? And how can KS and his beau find their way towards sexual bliss without making themselves miserable? Please share your experience and advice in the QComments section.
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