Ask QC: How Can I Get Back With My Ex?

Here’s the deal. I met my ex about a year ago. We really hit it off, then after a month of dating, I told him that I didn’t think I was ready to be exclusive, that I had cheated on my ex-boyfriend, was in sexual addicts anonymous, and didn’t know if whether or not I should be in an open relationship. He thought it over for a day and then called me to tell me that as he wasn’t interested in open relationship that we probably shouldn’t date. He did add however that he found me amazing and that he thought we should totally be friends.

Soon after that, I called him and told him that I regretted us breaking up because I feel like it ended a possibly great thing prematurely. He said that he needed to think about it, that we should discuss it later, and that he was going to be gone for most of the summer anyway. During that summer, I slept with an acquaintance of his (something I’m sure my ex learned about) and me and my ex never really got a around to discussing anything. It has been about 9 months since then. I have reached out to my ex a few times since then via Facebook postings and phone messages—nothing creepy or desperate—just small touches to let him know that he’s on my mind.

One time I did get a hold of him and let him know how I felt and while he said he appreciated my feeling, that he was dating someone at the time and didn’t want to lead me on. I don’t think he’s still seeing that guy anymore because a few weeks ago my ex-sent me a late night text message calling me handsome, promising to call soon and soon after sent an FB message jokingly asking me for cock pics and then asking if I was going to be attending the annual event where we met last year. He has yet to call me back.

I think the world of this guy, I really do. Not only do I regret not committing to him the first time around, but I have also undergone a lot of self-work and growth since then and I am not the same person I was back then. We really did get along very well and I feel like if we got a chance to actually date that we could make each other incredibly happy. I just want a second chance, but I don’t know how to proceed telling him how I feel without coming off as a weirdo.

Part of me dreams about sending him a gift with a long romantic note or showing up at his apartment complex with a guitarist who would help me serenade him, but either one could backfire. He’s not great about answering his phone or messages and so I’m not sure if leaving a voicemail or Facebook message is the way to go—it seems so unromantic, no? Should I leave it alone knowing that he already knows how I feel? Should I wait for him to call? Should I write him or video him a long, sincere note declaring my affection? Or should I move on?

I know I’ve made some mistakes, but we really are both good guys who I think could have a beautiful life together. I don’t want to regret not doing enough to let him know how I feel and always wondering if I could have gotten him back. What should I do? What would you do?

Thanks.

We’ve all made mistakes when it comes to romance but it seems our Romeo is ready to come clean and commit to his ex of one month. But does he have a chance at catching his attention or should he swim on in search of other fish until his ex throws him a line? And what if you were his ex? What would he need to do in order to win your heart back? Step up all you lovers with your angel wings and quivers and give this problem your best shot! Leave your experience and advice in the QComments section!
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