Ask QC: My Boyfriend’s in Laws Are Driving Me Nuts!
Hi guys,
I have a problem with my boy friends ‘in laws’ and wondered what to do? I love him dearly and when we first started dating two years ago we were still both at college and away from our parents, everything was great then!
Since graduation, we moved back to his home town, basically for his job and he wanted to be close to his family. Even though I’m from a different state it didn’t seem much of a problem at first as I work from home anyway so it was easy to relocate with him. At first things were going OK when we moved back to his home town, and then he came out to his family about 3 months ago. This went really well, I’m out to my family and it wasn’t easy when I did that, so I was really pleased when it went so smoothly for him.
The thing is, once his family knew we were a couple then they starting calling around more often. It started with once or twice a week, to ‘check on their boys’ but now its two or three times a day! Sometimes even four times, and each time they come its for 1, 2 or even 3 hours at a time! Its driving me nuts because I am trying to work from home but they will say things like, “Oh no problem, don’t mind me, you just carry on with your work and I will sit here for a while”. In the morning it will be the Mother-in-law, then it’s the Father-in-law, or an Aunt or brother or sister! It ends up with 3 or 4 of them in our tiny lounge where I am trying to work on my computer and they are all gossiping about family matters and asking my opinion about this that or the other. I don’t mind the fact so much that they clean out the fridge and drink us out of coffee each time, but our apartment is so small and its become a sort of drop in center for his family! As my BF is out most of the day at work he doesn’t see this and just brushes it off and says, “Oh its great they are so friendly and supportive”. So how do I get out of this mess? It’s causing me problems with my work but I also don’t want to upset my BF or my in-laws. I realize it’s probably my own fault for letting the situation get out of hand too but how do I change the situation now? I guess I could rent some office space in town but we don’t make a lot of money and it seems crazy that I am thinking like this, seems like I am being driven out of my own home!
If anyone can offer advice on how to get out of this situation, tactfully, and keeping both my BF and in-laws happy I would be really grateful. I don’t want it to end where I explode and tell them to get f*cked and then cause a rift between my BF and family. That’s the last thing I want to happen.
Hoping you guys can help, thanks in advance,
Ryan
Isn’t it great when you have in-laws that adore you and are supportive of your relationship?But things can turn for the worse when they adore you too much. One’s got to have his personal space and privacy. And in Ryan’s case, he needs his time to work at home too!
How will you get Ryan out of his Catch-22 situation?
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
