Ask QC: My Friend Is Distancing Himself After We…
Our writer today carefully detailed his situation so it’s slightly on the lengthy side. But it’s a good read and definitely worthy of our help. So let us hear what he has to say:
I am seeking advice on how to deal with this problem I have. There is so much to say, so I hope I can fit in the important details. There is a good friend of mine that I have always liked but never really had any sort of strong feelings for. But a few weeks back, the night before he left for his studies in another state, we had a few drinks together. We started talking and eventually one thing led to another, holding hands and all, and I ended up making the first move and I kissed him. I thought he would pushed me away but to my surprised he kissed me back and asked me to spent the night with him. Even though I kind of hesitated at first, I did spent the night with him.
Here is the problem, I accepted that I am gay a year or two ago and ever since that I have had a few experiences with other men and had been in 3 relationships. Truth be told that night I said a few things to my friend just to get into his pants. But there has always been this tension between us, an attraction between us. There were times when we would caught each other looking at one another while we’re talking to our friends. He did tell me that he doesn’t know whether he is gay or bisexual, and that he is still confuse about his situation, and didn’t want to do anything that will messed up our friendship. I really didn’t care that much back then. The next morning I sent him a text message before he left that I had an amazing time with him but I want us to be friends. I got a weird response from him and ever since that I felt like I have pushed him away. We hardly talk to each other anymore, and out of the few times we did, its mostly me who talks to him first, and even if we did, I don’t get the sort of response I use to get from him before that night. And lately I cannot stop thinking about him, I am starting to really fall for him and I miss him a lot too. I tried to meet other guys, forget about him but I just can’t. It just feels like no one are like him, and I keep thinking about the night we spent together. I now realize that night was indeed the best night of life. It changed me, truth be told, I usually go for one night stands even with guys that I really like. But this was different. I now realize I want to be with him. I feel like I have pushed him away cause of that text message.
I am really confuse about my feelings for him. I mean am I starting to fall in love for him? Or is this just a phase that will pass. What should I do? I want to tell him how I feel but I am actually scared to do that. I am so afraid of pushing him away even further. I am so afraid that if I keep talking to him he might find me annoying, and at the same time I don’t want to do anything to ruin our friendship. I have never been like this and have never felt so strong for anyone before. It’s really starting to take a toll on me and I really need advice on what I should do. Should I move on and just forget about my feelings or should I take a step forward towards him? Please help.
Oh dear… Is this another “I’ve fallen in love with a straight guy” situation? Let’s help our poor chap explore his options and assisting him to look the big picture.
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