Ask QC: What Am I?

Hi everyone,

I’ll try to explain my situation briefly. Basically, it is about the way I connect with men.

When I was younger, I wasn’t quite the guys-guy type. My friends were ALL female. I used to fantasize about boys as well as girls. As the years have gone by, I started preferring men, although I hadn’t had sex with either boys or girls. I just found the male physique more appealing.

I am 26 years old and now I would definitely say I’m gay since I watch gay porn, and notice men on the streets rather than girls. Once in a while I will notice a girl that I like and I want to have sex with, and if I get to know her the feeling Intensifies, but I still think of
men when I masturbate yet think of the girl if we have sex.

The complete opposite happens with men. I have eventually become more
self-confident and started to socialize with men. And as I’ve got to know many men I used to fantasize about, the urge to have hot steamy sex with then rapidly declines (if not vanishes completely!)

As I become emotionally closer to a guy, I virtually don’t want to have sex with him at all; it is the same as when I’m not close to a girl! What I mean to say is when I’m emotionally distant from a girl and emotionally attached to a guy, I could have sex with the person (but I don’t want to).

Yet when things are opposite, I’m close to a girl and I don’t know the guy, then I want to have sex with them! This is why I am confused with my sexual identity. Not that I need the label, I don’t, but I believe it would be a lot simpler if I was just a regular bi-sexual.

Now my question is, how do I manage my relationships with girls if I fancy guys? Should I date girls in the first place, since I’m more attracted to men at
first glance? I do not want to cheat in a relationship, so this is a problem for me!
I really need some help and your opinions on this, thanks in advance,
Nick

Hi Nick and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. I think ultimately no two people on this planet are the same and you’re correct in not wanting to label or categorize yourself as such. But, having said that, I understand you have a dilemma in connecting both physically and emotionally with either sex. Perhaps some of our readers have been in similar situations? So, dear QC readers, If you have any advice or comments then please feel free to leave your opinions and experiences in the QComments section!
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