Ask QC: I Have Never Had a Boyfriend

Dear Ask QC,

Hey, I’m from London (UK), I’m 19 years old (just last month) and I have never had a boyfriend.

My two closest gay friends have each had at least two past relationships that lasted for a significant time. My experience consists of two dates that have never amounted to anything and sex with a few ‘straight guys’, all drunken encounters and I guess experiments for them.

I’m openly gay and have been out for longer than anyone I know. My problem is that I don’t ever seem to get any male attention, my friends try to reassure me that there isn’t anything wrong with me but it really drags my self-esteem down. It really does sound stupid but it always gets me down, and the thought that I have never been loved does upset me.

I try to convince myself that it will never happen, as to avoid future disappointment but my inner optimist will always expect it to. Sometime I think its because I’m too feminine, though I promised myself a long time ago that I will never change who I am for anyone.

I do go out to gay clubs quite often, so I’m not sure if there is anything I can actually do improve my chances. I need help! It does sound trivial but I am genuinely saddened by it and think about it daily.

Thank You. C

Hi C and thanks for your question and concerns. It’s great to hear from you and that you’re out and about and able to visit gay clubs and have gay friends too. That’s always a great start in meeting new men! Thankfully the world is made up of all different and unique types of men and remember, not everyone likes the same type too! I’m sure there are plenty of guys here who’ve been faced with a similar situation to yours and can share their tips and advice on dating men and finding the right guy! So, dear QC readers, if you can help C in any way with your own experiences and improve his chances of finding the ideal boyfriend, then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section.
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