Ask QC: Can’t Cum with Partner

Dear Ask QC,

So I’ve had this issue for a while.

When I am with a guy for the first time, even the second time, I am not able to reach orgasm. I am able to masturbate to orgasm normally, but when I’m with a guy it gets to the point where I am still pounding away long after my partner has come.

I feel really self-conscious about it. I’ve blamed it on being with a new guy and I am not comfortable with him, and/or to performance anxiety.

But my one thing though, is that I am just not turned on when we start fooling around and I am not really into it at all. Though I do get (and stay) rock hard the instant I start kissing a dude.

Any ideas, help?

Thanks,

J.

Hi J and thanks for your question and concerns. It’s possible that performance anxiety may be an issue as its obvious that you’re healthy, can maintain an erection and ejaculate with no problems. Everyone can have these issues with new partners or from time to time and there’s probably a few guys here right now who have experienced similar situations themselves too. So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give? Have you had performance anxiety before? Was it just the first few times you were with a new partner? Or something that’s just happened only in certain situations or occasions? Was is psychological or physical and how did you overcome these issues? Or have you been with a partner who had a similar problem to this? What did you do to help resolve it? If you can help J in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section!
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