Porn Break: Bend My Dick to My Ass

So, I guess Bam Margera has a “rap” “song” “now?” Honestly, guys, I don’t even really know what to say about this video other than that Bam reveals himself to be a poet and all-around truth-sayer. Memorable lyrics include “Bend my dick to my ass/so I can fuck myself” and “tittyfuck my ass cheeks.” Who knew that Bam Margera was the Elizabeth Bishop of our modern era? The video’s real payoff comes at 2:44, when Bam pees in his own mouth. I’m desperately praying that this means we can expect another season of Viva La Bam.