Ask QC: How Do I Get Over Someone?

Dear Ask QC,

I’m 25 and just recently split from the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. How do I get over the person I spent the last 2 1/2 years loving?

He was everything I was looking for in a mate. Beautiful. Compassionate. Intelligent. He was a family man, something I was looking for all along. And to put the cherry on the top, we had the most exhilarating and exciting sex-life I could imagine, including a dick from the gods!

Of course our relationship had ups and downs, break-ups and make-ups, but I never thought we would actually part ways. He is only a year older than I. He had a career that ran him ragged, left the job, and ended up in the hospital for depression. After leaving the hospital, he never fully recovered. He moved back in with me and we spent the whole summer together.

During that time, he told me how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, but I pulled away, scared that he was unstable based upon his mental state. Due to my inability to make a decision, he left and traveled around the country to try and find his path. When he was gone, I came to the realization of just how much I did love him. As the saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder. He returned and we coupled up again. We spent the rest of the year together, with me giving him the ultimatum to decide on our future by the new year.

He decided that I deserve more than him as he is not educated, lacking a career, and extremely down on himself. But I love him for him, and I have seen him go through some of the worst times in his life, not judging him based upon the hardship he is trying to get back up from.

We recently mutually split because we both feel we need to make ourselves the best possible people we can be if we are ever to have the fulfilling life that we want. He tells me he has not loved anyone like me. He says that I am the only person he has ever seen possibly settling down with.

I recently graduated from college, lost my job and moved back to my parents home. I have no idea what to do with my free time now that I am not spending it with him. How do I get over the man I thought I would spend my life with?

Crushed

Hi Crushed. Thanks for your question and concerns. Breakups are hard for everyone. Maybe one of the cruelest tricks about not being over a guy is that it always feels like you’ll never get over him. Have faith though! I does get easier, but it takes time. So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give? Most of us have been here before at one time or another. Do you know any tricks for getting over someone? What’s the best way to make peace with the end of a relationship? In situations like this, it usually even helps to share stories. If you can help Crushed in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section!
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