Porn Break: Emotion Lotion

Today in hard-hitting journalism, we bring you the mysterious case of the emotion lotion. We’re often asked what the best way to show affection for someone is, and this article clears up the case unequivocally. The best way to tell someone you love them is to rub your semen all over their face. Duh.

You know, we’ve heard that semen is good for the skin. Maybe this is both the height of romance and a sensible solution for your skin troubles. Just something to think about…