Ask QC: Finally, I’m in Love…With My Best Friend

Hi Ask QC,
So I’m 22, just graduated college, am happily ‘out of the closet’ as it were and have a great set of friends (and family), but something’s been irking me for a while now.
Feelings that I thought were just normal towards my best friend have recently morphed into something a whole lot more. We met in our first year at college and lived with each other for 3 of those years until he graduated last year. College just wasn’t the same without him this year, which I thought was a pretty normal reaction to him not being there.
Then he introduced us to a girl he was dating and I had an instant dislike for her…and she was nice!? I’ve never thought of him as attractive until recently when I just can’t stop thinking “Jesus, you’re f*****g hot!”. The thing is, it’s just so difficult – he’s straight (and when I say straight, this boy is so comfortable with his sexuality that he’ll talk at arms length about my sex life with me and even gives ME advice). We talk every day by text/phone/facebook or whatever, like the same music, have the same taste in people etc etc…
I’ve been trying to get rid of these feelings for months now but they just won’t shift. I can’t cut him out of my life or do anything as drastic as that, because quite frankly, and in danger of sounding over-dramatic, I simply couldn’t live without him. The worrying thing is that I find myself planning my future around him in a sort of sub conscious way. He lives in London and I’m in the middle of looking for a career there, despite having had no interest to live there before this year! I really don’t want to tell him either. I know that he’d be fine with it for my sake, but I’d never want the underlying awkwardness of that between us if I could help it, but am finding it hard to get past this.
Any advice on what to do?
Thanks,
E.

Hi E. Thank you so much for your question and concerns. We are sorry that you are struggling with it. He sounds such a good friend, it’s understandable that you don’t want to lose that friendship. And feelings are such mysterious things, creeping up on you when you least expect it. It’s even harder when you know for certain that you won’t be getting the same feelings back. I think It’s wise that you don’t plan to tell him. Get out and meet other people, there’s somebody out there who is a better match for you and can return your feelings too. Any advice, readers? How should E get past the feelings towards his straight best friend?
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