Ask QC: How to Come Out as Bi

Dear Ask QC,
I’m currently an undergrad studying in a small music conservatory where everyone knows literally everyone. Unfortunately for me, this doesn’t work well cause of what’s about to follow. I’ve been “straight” for most of my life and people in my school have known me as sorta the ladies’ man, and I still do find girls attractive. I also am very much in love with a girl from my school for the longest time, but we’ve decided to be friends since she doesn’t feel the same way about me. However, this past summer, I met some interesting people on a trip, one of whom is a gay man but doesn’t act quite like one. I really got to know him well and we did a lot of activities together and considered him one of my “bros” for the duration of the trip. I didn’t even know he was gay! (Even the girls in the trip were checking him out) Until we met his boyfriend towards the end of it. That’s when it all started. I kinda felt a little jealous about the boyfriend. He’d still spend enough time with me during the trip, but I kinda started to see him in a different light. I started to dream about him and it was just all weird, I couldn’t even explain it fully. Then when we were to part since the trio was over, I really missed him and started lusting about him. Talk about another level of weirdness.
School started last week and I came back and all of a sudden, I started noticing good-looking men. What I thought was a weird phase that could probably only be closely explained to me by “bromance” at the time followed me all the way home. I started lusting on co-workers, schoolmates, any good-looking guy, basically. It was pathetic, I thought. What weirded me out the most is that I still were able to fool around with said girl friend and still really found girls extremely attractive.
Okay, so now is the “I need help” part. The whole small school situation? Yeah. We have TONS of gays in my school. Unfortunately, they are all too out there and they tattle a lot (straight ones are just as guilty) I literally couldn’t trust anyone but two-three NON-musician friends at one point. What’s more is that the gays in the music conservatory do NOT support each other. They bash. And bash. And bash. For example, a friend came out last year and he nearly dropped out cause of how heavily unwelcome his coming out was, and it was all the gays’ fault. I, for one, want to express that I am attracted to guys just as much as I am to girls. I have recently developed this sexual craving for guys and frankly, it’s like another part of me (believe me, I’ve tried taking it out on this one girl, it’s just not the same). To add things to the worst list, I live in a small town, come from a family of strict Catholics and rednecks who would probably disown me upon knowing about my feelings toward guys. Help! I really wanna feel free about my sexuality and still love both guys and girls.
-K.

Hi K. Thank you for your question. It seems that you have accepted yourself, which is the most important part. In an ideal world, your next step would be to announce to the world that you are a proud bi man, but unfortunately, things aren’t necessarily that simple. We live in a world where sometimes people are not so open-minded and wouldn’t just let things be. There are many good reasons to come out, but Mr K also have reasons to choose not to. What do you say, dear readers? What would you do if you were in K’s shoes?
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