The Five Most Uniquely Shaped Dicks In Gay Porn

Some sluts say, “If you’ve seen one dick, you’ve seen ’em all.” They couldn’t be more wrong. Sure, a lot of dicks look alike with the shaft and balls and what-not, but not all cocks are created equal — no ma’am.
In fact, after seeing Vic’s penis from Sean Cody and its unique proportions, we got hungry for other uniquely shaped cocks — y’know, the kind that feel unlike anything you’ve ever taken, the kind of dicks that really make you feel every inch and curve.
They’re rare beasts, like unicorns. But we wrangled five killer cocks with unique shapes that drive us absolutely wild! There’s even an extra-unique BONUS COCK that you won’t want to miss! Seriously, it’s amazing… and this may be your only chance to see it ever.

1) Ted Colunga’s Beer Can
If you tied a beer can made of meat to a bodybuilder’s crotch, you’d basically have Ted Colunga. They should call him Ted Columna because his cock is columnar, like a goddamned pedestal. It’s a thick stocky piece of man with a plump head at the end. He’s vers too which means you can pop his tall boy then pop it in his pooper once you’ve had enough frothy, refreshing head.

2) Ethan from Sean Cody’s Bent Pole
How could anyone forget this handsome guy and his incredibly long, slightly bent pole? It’s a horsecock! Yes, Ethan bottomed mostly, but he did top occasionally. And when he did, his partners made crazy faces like they were possessed animals — it was just that good! Plus, quite a few of them worshipped his uncut shaft, including its nice long piss-slit; such a pleasure!

3) Kurt Wilde’s Eggplant
Kurt Wilde has an eggplant for a dick. Like, seriously. Look at it. Lucky for us, we love eggplant! And though Kurt was more of a super-bottom, he loved getting his big fat dick sucked. In fact, many of his scenes feature him laying back and getting that big girthy thing serviced — lucky bastard.

4) Roman Ragazzi’s Parking Cone
We call this a “parking cone dick” because it’s very narrow at the tip and just gets wider near the base. A few different porn stars have this kind of dick shape, but Roman Ragazzi’s typifies it perfectly, with a small narrow head and a quickly widening shaft that makes his cock a damn near triangle. We’d stop in our tracks for a cone like his.

5) Randy Blue: Alexander Greco’s Down-Curve
When a dick is curved, it’ll usually curve upward with its head pointing towards your mouth rather than down towards your knees — but not Alexander’s! Like Roman Ragazzi’s dick, there are a lot of porn stars who have downward-curving cocks. It’s just that Alex’s is so damned perfect. If you had a bunch of them, you could arrange their curves into a perfect circle, and God would cry over how beautiful and perfect it was. No really, She would.

BONUS COCK! – The Man With Two Penises
We promised you a bonus cock and here it is… errr, we mean, here they are! His owner goes by Double Dick Dude (or ‏@DiphallicDude on Twitter and Tumblr). He is in a triad (three-way) relationship with a guy and girl. He’s also into being fisted, if you like glove-love. If you’re curious, his right dick gets harder than left and he says both of them can get up to 10-inches long. Yow!
Which of your favorite porn stars have the most amazingly-shaped dicks? Let us know in the QComments and we’ll do another top five of the best ones!