Ask QC: Am I too old to “come out”?

Dear Ask QC,

I’m 49 years old, which probably seems ancient for such a question – but am I too old to “come out of the closet” and declare my sexuality to the world?

I’m what my family politely described as a “confirmed bachelor”, I don’t really think I act or look in anyway effeminate (not that I have a problem with that) but I’ve lived my life pretty much alone and just concentrated on my work. In every aspect I’m just a regular/normal guy who just happens to be gay.

But my 50th birthday is coming up in just over 6 months, and it got me thinking that I am more than half way through my life, more than ever before I have this urge to let the world know I’m gay and then just get on with my life. I’ve never have a long term partner but I live in hope that I can, maybe coming out will help with that? I’m actually pretty inexperienced on the relationship side of things, apart from some infrequent hook ups for sexual relief I’ve never even had a boyfriend.

With my 50th looming, I realized that I have been living my life in a way that others (parents, family, etc) expect me to and not really how I want to. So I’ve had this crazy notion to have a big surprise at my 50th birthday party and just “come out”! I’m not sure though, if it’s going to be a good thing to do it like that – just announce and declare it, or whether I should actually make invitation cards saying “You’re invited to Davids “Coming Out” Party!”?

I know this is probably a strange question to have here as most questions are either sexual or relationship based, but is 50 too old to come out? Has anyone here done that and what happened, was it a good thing or where there dire consequences? I’m sure that people will look and think of me in a different way and perhaps there may be some negativity associated with letting people know I’m homosexual (I can already see the looks of disapproval at my church). I know I don’t have to make this decision today, but in the back of my mind I’ve always thought it so unfair that I was brought up in a society that said homosexuality was wrong (school and church). I’m glad it’s so much easier for the youth of today and that they can come out in their teenage years. For me, the longer this has gone on the harder its becoming to do it so I feel that if I don’t do it at 50 then I’ll never do it. By the way, both my parents are still alive (and they are very homophobic as are a lot of other family members) but my friends and work colleagues I feel will either support me if I come out or not be bothered by it at all.
If anyone has been through this and can offer any advice it would really help in making my decision.

Many thanks, and I just really want to add, as a long term reader of QC of many years now, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Best regards, David

Hi there David and many thanks too for the compliments, it’s wonderful to know our long term QueerClick readers – and that you appreciate all the hard work the team delivering hot gay porn 24/7 . And thanks too for writing in with your question and concerns, coming out (or not) is a big step for every individua whether gay, bi or trans, and although everyones circumstances are different, there will surely be some similarity with yours and other readers here too. So dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you offer David? Is 50 too old (or even too young!) to come out? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section!
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