Ask QC: An accident during sex…
Dear Ask QC,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and we’re talking about moving in together. I’m 24 and he’s 26. We are in a monogamous relationship and have both been tested several times even though we never had unprotected sex with anyone else. We just started having sex without a condom, after we got tested again for everything, on our one year anniversary when we made a true commitment to each other and decided we wanted to have condomless sex. I love him so much that it’s hard to put into words.
The problem we have was recent. I was fucking him and all of a sudden it felt a bit different on my dick – then when I looked, I noticed there was shit on my dick. I didn’t know what to do so I waited for him to cum and then I came too. It wasn’t until after we finished that he knew that he had got shit on me. This has never happened to us before no matter who was top or bottom. We were both really embarrassed when it happened and have had a hard time talking about it since then and this has really affected our relationship.
We have now been blowing each other and going to sleep when we stay over each others apartments. He won’t let me rim him anymore even when he’s just got out of the shower and he’s stopped rimming me too. We don’t even finger each other now when we blow each other anymore. I tried to finger him and he pushed my hand away which made it hard for me to cum because it was so awkward. We just kiss, blow each other and go to sleep.
I know this must have happened to other guys so I’d like to know how to move on from it. It really wasn’t that big of a deal to me, he doesn’t gross me out. It’s not like I’m into shit or anything like that, but his shit just didn’t gross me out. And it’s not like I didn’t know that there is shit up his hole sometimes even though I’ve never been in contact with it. Depending on the comments I get, I’d like to show him this as a way for us to talk about it and move on and not worry about it again.
We went from talking about getting married to all of a sudden acting like strangers sometimes. This is serious and I would appreciate any help,
Thanks.
Brandon
Hi Brandon and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Sex isn’t always as clean or straight forward as we see in the movies is it? Sometimes we can’t control our bodies during sex and it makes noises or does things that can range from funny, hilarious to embarrassing and humiliating. Getting both partners to the same comfort level can take time, especially when we experience things for the first time and are unsure how to act or react to those situations. So it’s natural when an event occurs we aren’t expecting we can’t predict our reactions or outcome until we’ve actually been through that experience. For sure there are those who have suffered the same as you and your partner, and they’ll also be those who have had no problems with this too. Some may make light of the situation, but it’s a real enough and serious enough problem to be affecting you both so let’s hope there is enough kind advice here to help. So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you offer Brandon and his partner? If you can help in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section!
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