Ask QC: Where to Go Next?

Good day guys!

I’m a recent graduate and I’m having a hard time what to do next. I’m having difficulties what direction I should take next. I know that I should find a job that is connected to my degree but I realized that that path isn’t really for me.

What I’m interested in is fashion and porn lol. But with the degree that I have I don’t even know if they, the companies I’ve applied to, are taking my applications into considerations.

I’m really lost right now! Help guys!

Much love,

Andy B.

Hi Andy and thanks for writing in with your question. We’ve had some questions in the past regarding career discrimination and gay friendly environments to work in, but its always refreshing to get a new question on making a career choice or change. As you may have gathered, all of us here at Team Orange have a deep interest (obsession?) in porn that led us to alter our own career choices too haha! And our backgrounds are as diverse and varied as they come so don’t let something like a degree stop you! But dear QC readers, what advice would you give? Have you made changes to your career based on your interest rather than what you’ve studied or qualified in? How did it work out for you? What recommendations would you give or do differently? If you can help point Andy in the right direction, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: First Time and No Condom Involved

Dear QC,

A few days ago me and a friend tried having anal sex for the first time. We did something really stupid though and that was doing it without a condom.

I know this guy and he’s always been very honest and both of us know that we haven’t done anal with another dude ever. But I’m really scared, because even though it was our first time, I don’t want to get a STD or anything worse. I have never had a STD before.

I really don’t know what to do or think, because it wasn’t even really sex, as far as I know. He only got 2 thrusts in me and after that I said stop.

I want to get tested now, but I really need to know if there is a risk that I could be HIV+ or not.

Please help me.

Dave

PS: Please excuse any errors in the text, for I am not an American or UK-citizen.

Hi Dave and thanks for writing in with your concerns, and yes we get letters from all nationalities so there is no need to worry about your text! (which was fine by the way) We all know that when having sex, particularly anal intercourse, its much safer practice to wear a condom. But also, we are all human and all make choices or mistakes for one reason or another. We are not here to condone or judge but to offer counsel, so dear QC readers what advice would you give? Have you ever been in similar situation? Did you get tested immediately? Or did you abstain from sex and then wait for the 3 month period before taking the HIV test? What are your opinions on sex without condoms and testing for STD’s? If you can help Dave in any way, or have been in a similar situation before then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: I’m in too deep and I can’t get out!

Dear QC,

About a month ago, this guy chatted me up online. It was about what I
was wearing. The conversation just took off from there, and we were so
deep into our discussions for hours and hours. We exchanged numbers,
and texted practically everyday.

At the start, he ALWAYS initiated the conversation and it was always
so out of the blue. It felt to me like he only wanted to talk to me,
and it didn’t matter what it was about. By the time a week or so
passed, I realized I was falling for him. Eventually, the roles
reversed, and I became the “initiator”.

He’s a couple of years older than I am, taller than I am, more into
fashion than I am. Gosh, in a word, he’s everything I could dream of!
While initially nonchalant about getting him as my boyfriend, over
time I just got more and more nervous as he seemed more and more out
of my league.

We went out for the first time recently, and I had serious intents to
tell him how I feel about him. I really like him a lot; I was so
hoping that we could be a couple! Although, by the time we went out,
my confidence was at an all time low, and I seriously did not think
that my feelings would be reciprocated.

The evening was pretty sweet, and we had quite a bit to chat about. I
enjoyed it, and he appeared to as well. But then, in one of our
conversations, it eventually came to a point when he said he “can’t
imagine dating younger guys”. My heart sank the moment I heard that. It
literally felt like my soul had died. I just realized what a fool I
was. Of course he wasn’t into me! He was just a friendly gay guy, and
there wasn’t really a “connection” on his end at all. He probably just
wanted to be friends. Or was he just toying with me, could that be his
“thing”?

Don’t get it wrong, he’s so nice a guy throughout the time we texted
and our whole non-romantic-only-friendly date!

Like a million things went through my head with Adele’s songs looping
inside like elevator music, I really lost all hope to nail getting in
a relationship with him. I resigned to fate, and tried to accept the
fact that I made a wrong judgment.

But alas, I really cannot. I was in deeper than I had thought. I
didn’t just have a crush on him, I was (dare I say it?) in love with
him. He was the PERFECT guy for me. I couldn’t dream of anyone better.
Heck, if I had the (totally impossible and hypothetical) choice to
have Francisco Lachowski or him as my boyfriend, I’d pick him in a
heartbeat!

In the past, I’ve only dated once, my ex was the one who initiated then. We dated for
just over half a year, and I have remained single since we broke up in Feb 2010! So yes, I’m really green when it comes to relationships. Plus I’m only 19 this year. It’s like, when finally I found someone who managed to help me completely eradicate all remnants of what I felt for my ex, SHIT HAPPENS! Damn, I’m more miserable now than I ever
was.

Okay, enough of my rambling. I really need help guys! None of my
friends have been any help whatsoever. I’m so into this guy and in no
way could I imagine giving him up.

What do I do now? I really don’t have the experience of how to handle
this kind of situation, and I feel so horrible I literally just feel
like dying. I know how a lot of guys are gonna say that I should move on,
and I would get over him and all. I know I eventually can, but I
really don’t want to if there’s still even the slightest glimmer of
hope! I’m also not sure how he’s gonna react when I tell him how I
feel, and I seriously would die if he treat me like how my ex did.
Which basically was just stop replying my texts in a whole. By no
means would remaining just friends be a consolation prize, but I can’t
imagine if I lost even that!

I know I gotta take calculated risks here, but I don’t even know what
to do! I really need your guidance and advice guys. I’m a total
emotional wreck right now. Please guys, HELP ME.

Marcus

Hi Marcus and many thanks for writing in with your problem and concerns. It’s not always easy knowing what to do in these situations, especially when you’ve not had the benefit of experiencing this before. So dear QC readers what advice would you give? Have you experienced being in similar situation? How did you resolve it? If you can help Marcus in any way, or have been in a similar situation before then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: I Can’t Kiss After Being Rimmed!

Dear Ask QC,

I recently started dating a guy a few year older than me (I’m 22 and he’s 38). We seem fairly compatible and its been nice getting to know him and things have been progressing nicely. He’s a wonderful funny man, kind and romantic and makes me happy.

I’m not one to rush into things or jump into bed right away and am not all that experienced sexually. But, so far most things I’ve tried with him I have really enjoyed. I say ‘most things’ because recently my BF rimmed me – and yes, I enjoyed the feeling but the thing that made me nearly gag was that he then wanted to kiss me straight afterwards.

I wasn’t able too – and made a lame excuse to go to the bathroom – I feel a bit of a jerk because I know I was clean ‘down there’ and his rimming really gave me a most pleasurable experience. But the thought of me then having to kiss him straight afterwards made me feel want to puke!

Is that normal? Should I kiss him after rimming? Is it even safe?

Sorry to ask such a basic question but I’m really not sure how to handle this, appreciate any advice, thanks!

Ryan

Hi Ryan and thanks for your question, that’s certainly an interesting topic! So dear QC readers what rimming/kissing advice would you give to Ryan? Should he tell his BF to stop rimming him? Or should he tell him to use mouth wash? Or Dental Dam? If you can help him in any way, or have been in a similar situation then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: We Met Online But He Lied!

Hi there QC,

I’m sure most of us have met guys online and most of us have either lied (or been lied to) about our height/age/weight/dick size, etc, etc. Perhaps sometimes these are more of exaggerations of the truth say about what we do for a living, how much we earn, that sort of thing.

A few months ago I met a really nice guy online who, lives a few hours drive away, but with work and the holidays we just never seemed to be able to meet up face to face. We’ve been webcamming and jacking off together and getting along just fine – that is until we met up last week.

It bothers me that I feel so strongly about this as hes been a really nice guy, but now I realized hes always been making excuses or avoiding questions which I put down to him being shy, I now feel I have been led along and feel a bit foolish too.

When we finally did get to meet I drove over to his place but I was shocked when he answered the door… in a wheel chair! At first I thought perhaps he had been in an accident or twisted his ankle or something, but he hadn’t. He then told me that he could walk (partially) but he has cerebal palsy since being born and it affects his motor (brain) controls and his physical abilities.

It pained me to see him like this as I had over several months started to develop deep feelings for him, I felt like I’d been robbed. Which I know is very selfish of me too but I had been dreaming of notions that we could get into a serious relationship together, now Im not too sure.

I was angry and sad but now Im over the initial shock Ive been wondering how difficult it would be for us to have a relationship together? Right from the start he lied about his condition, but he’s explained this by saying that if he had told at the start me I wouldn’t have been interested in him (sadly, he’s probably right). Now that I have learned to like him for who he is and develop feelings for him its different, but can I ever trust him?

My question really is have other readers been in this situation and what difficulties will it bring being in a relationship with someone who has this condition? From a sexual point, there will be no problems (although we probably wont be swinging from the chandeliers LOL!). But I’m seriously considering giving this a chance to work and would really appreciate any advice from those who’ve been there before.

Thanks everyone,

Benjamin

Hi Benjamin and thanks for your writing in with your question, that’s certainly quite a complicated and interesting topic! So dear QC readers what advice would you give? Have any of you been in this situation before? Are any of you currently in relationships with a partner who is physically challenged? Was it always like that from the start or something that happened later in life? If you can help Benjamin in any way, or point him in the right direction then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: Should Gay Brothers ‘Come Out’ at The Same Time?

Hi there QC,

A few weeks ago there was a question on here about when Is the ‘right’ age/time to ‘come out’?

Well I have the same situation but its double the problem – my brother (who is 17 months older than me) is also gay and we recently came out to each other (he’s nearly 20 and I’m 18). Although I already knew he was gay, he said he had no idea about me and didn’t believe me at first when I told him! LOL!

The thing is, we both still live at home with Mom and Dad, 3 brothers and 2 sisters (all younger than us) and although we’re not too sure about coming out to them all just yet, we really do want to come out to our parents.
Our question is, should we both come out at the same time to our parents and with both parents present? I think we should but my brother thinks it will be too much them to take and he wants to test the water first and come out to them by himself first – then if its OK then I should do so at a later date. I’m not really convinced that’s the right thing to do and really think we should both do it together. So if you have any ideas or advice on how we should do it then that would be really great!

Thanks for your help guys!

J + D

Making that decision to come out is a big step so lets see if we can help these two boys!, whilst every circumstance is different, and your situation is a double whammy, lets hope that some of our readers have experienced a similar set of circumstances and will be able to guide you. So, if you think you can help J + D with their dilemma and answer any of their questions and more, or have any other advice to offer them, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Continue with “Ask QC: Should Gay Brothers ‘Come Out’ at The Same Time?”

Ask QC: Is it OK to eat cum?

Hi QC,

I’m 19 years old and have been going out with my first true boyfriend for about 4 months now.

Before I met him, my only sexual experience was masturbating a few times with other guys in the locker room – but nothing more than that.

My boyfriend is nearly 10 years older than me, and so far our sex has been great – he’s been very patient in showing and teaching me all sorts of stuff.

One thing I’m still unsure of though, is that when I give him a blow job he really wants me swallow his cum – so far I have resisted this but I don’t mind if he comes on my face – in fact I quite like it 🙂

But is it safe to eat his cum? When I mentioned about HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases he said its OK for me to swallow cos the sperm will be killed in by the acid in my stomach. Is this right? I realize that I shouldnt have sex if there is any exchange of fluids like if I had a cut in my mouth or going bare back and fucking without a condom is risky but what about swallowing cum from a blowjob?

I should also mention that we have both had HIV tests that were negative as I was a bit cautious about sex when I first met him, like I say he’s been patient and all but I’m still a bit concerned about swallowing cum (although I kinda also like the idea of doing it for him too).

Thanks if you can help me answer this,

Ryan B

Hi Ryan, thanks for writing in – I’m sure the QCollective will be able to advise you on this! What’s your take in this guys? Should Ryan be swallowing his boy friends cum? If you can help him answer any of these questions and more, or have any other advice to offer him, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: Is Masturbating Alone Whilst in a Relationship ‘Normal’?

Hi guys,

I’m 32 years old and have been living together in a relationship for 6 years with my partner who is 40 years old. We plan to marry soon, but recently I became aware that my partner masturbates alone regularly. I would say in general we are compatible on many levels, he’s perhaps got more sex drive than I and he’s also definitely the top in the relationship and the one who usually initiates sex.

The thing is I just happened to walk in on him when I came home early from work and he wasn’t expecting me back and, I caught him in the act. Even though we both intimately know each others bodies, weirdly, we were both embarrassed by it!

We talked about it afterwards and I was expecting him to say it was a ‘one off’ but he admitted that he does it regularly, at least several times a week – that got me mad!

I don’t know why, but I feel like he’s cheated on me, or at least he’s cheated me out of having sex with him – I know this is probably a bit irrational to feel like this, but if he needed sex then I am his partner and I believe he should be sharing it with me and not masturbating alone. Sure I work long hours, but I’m always there for him every night, so why does he still feel the need to jack off by himself?

My question is, is it normal within relationships for partners to masturbate alone? My boyfriend says it is, and although I haven’t had too many partners in the past (living together that is) so I don’t really know if its normal or not. I do know that I feel hurt by this, don’t get me wrong I’m very open regarding sex and in the bedroom we play with plenty of toys together – its just the fact he was doing it alone that disturbs me.

I realize that this might be totally normal and happens in all relationships so perhaps I’m the only one who doesn’t do this, but if you guys have any advice or experiences on this subject I would be most grateful.

Many thanks,

Jasone M

We all masturbate don’t we? But do we do it alone when we are in ‘live in relationships’? Is it rational for Jasone to feel the way he does? If you can help him answer any of these questions and more, or have any other advice to offer him, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: Which Porn Movies have the best Anal Orgasms?

Dear QC

Hi QC

OK, so I have heard of the prostate (or anal) orgasm. Apparently it’s when you have the most intense orgasm ever all over your body and in some cases you have an orgasm even without cumming.

My question is out of all the porn movies that have ever been filmed, I still haven’t seen nor heard about them happening to pro porn stars.

So do you know of any? Or is it true that none exist?

Thanks,

Jacob

Prostrate or Anal Orgasm what’s your take? And do we have any pornoisseurs out there who know movies show this happening? If you can help answer Jacob’s curiosity and more, or perhaps enjoy prostrate/anal orgasms yourself and want to share, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: Is Lusting After A Straight Man Worth It?

Dear QC,

There’s this guy, he’s straight, which is painfully obvious. Problem is, I think I might have fallen a bit too much for him. It’s been bugging me for so long. When we first met, he hated me a bit because of my guts and I kinda also disliked him because he tried too much to be somebody.

But that all changed when he and I went with other guys to this retreat. I got to know him better and, after that, we grew to be close friends. This was where the problem started. I kinda began to always look for him in the crowd. Every time I go to school, whenever I see him, from afar, I feel like I’m on cloud nine. I know I love him but this much? It’s scary, that I can say.

What is more fucked up though is that he is the only one I feel this way for. I mean, yes, I check out other guys. There are a lot of hotties in my campus but, of everyone else, he’s the only one I feel comfortable being gay. I don’t even know if I should call it gay because he’s the only one I dream of being a part of. I don’t even get interested whenever I see hot guys, but with him, I want to build my whole life with.

What’s sad is he is scared of homosexuality. It’s not that he hates gays, but I know that he wants to get married to a girl and start a family. What fucking hurts is that we’re growing apart. Even if we were just friends, that would be more than enough for me. I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s my best friend but things don’t go the way we plan them.

Help me, please?

RR

Hi RR and thanks for writing in with your concerns and worries. I guess at some time or other we have all ‘fallen’ for a straight guy? Have any of you been in a similar situation to RR’s? How did you deal with it? If you can help him answer any of these questions and more, or have any other ideas to offer him, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: Low Libido, Depressed and In The Closet… Help!

Hi there,

So I have been seeing a guy since November, going on several months now. We see each other at least four times a week, cuddle on the couch, watch TV shows together, have inside jokes, and for all intents and purposes are dating, even though he “doesn’t like labels.”

Sexually, we are kind of complicated. He’s diagnosed with depression, and on anti-depressants he can’t keep it up. He assures me that it’s not me, but one still wonders. He has since come off the pills with the guidance of his doctor, but often, he has no libido at all. So I guess all of that is problem one.

To complicate those problems, I am the first guy he has ever been with. He is not out at all, but will hold my hand in public. He recently told me that he feels wrong after every time we do anything sexually. It’s not a religious hang-up, but living in the Bible Belt, that guilt comes when you are a kind of new gay. He claims that he is unsure that he is gay, but with claims about how my touch means more to him than a girl’s ever has, I find it hard to believe that as a possibility, because I know how he is feeling from my first boyfriend.

On the good side he is a great guy, he is smart, into me, well-read, on a job track to a nice life, very attractive, and shares my sense of humor. I really, really care about him, and worry about these issues and his depression compounding. So QC readers, take a break from your porn and help me please. What should I do….stand by him, talk to him? If so, how do I bring up issues like these without overstepping personal bounds? How do I talk to him, and tell him about my coming out and coming to terms experiences (that I think can help him]) without seeming like I am trying to offer him propaganda?

Thanks for all of your advice,

CT

Hi CT and thanks for writing in with your concerns and worries. Have any of you been in a similar situation? What did you do? And what’s the best way to handle this? If you can help CT answer any of these questions and more, or have any other advice to offer him, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Continue with “Ask QC: Low Libido, Depressed and In The Closet… Help!”

Ask QC: My Boyfriends Best Friend is also his Ex-Boyfriend!

Dear Ask QC,

I am seeing a guy who’s best friend is also his ex-boyfriend.

I don’t know what to expect, and I am trying to be as neutral and understanding as I can possibly be.

My biggest fear is that I will always assume the worst whenever they are together, and I don’t want that to be a factor in our blossoming relationship.

Can anyone with prior experience with this issue give me some pointers. I just have no idea what to expect, and I don’t want to be that bitch that drives his best friend away over my petty emotions.

Thanks.

RHL

Hi there RHL and thanks for writing in with your concerns and worries. Have any of you been in a similar situation to this? How did you handle it? Where you able to overcome your emotions? What advice would you offer RHL? If you can help answer any of these questions and more, or have any ideas to offer, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: Is my Penis Gross or OK?

Dear Ask QC,

For as long as I can remember I’ve had pearly penile papules. It’s not bad and my junk doesn’t look like it came out of a mutant horror movie! I’ve never had a problem with them and I’ve had plenty of healthy sex with different guys.

The last guy I hooked up with, however, was kinda snobbish about it. He didn’t say anything, but there was that look in his face. Ever since then I’ve been really self-conscious about it. I’ve been thinking maybe getting them removed, but the doctor said that if they’re not causing discomfort or serious problems, he would advize against it. What should I do? Is it gross? Am I okay? Or was that one guy just being an asshole?

Socal

Hi there Socal, thanks for your letter I’m sure we have other QC readers who have experienced the same situation as you! Any readers who also have penile papules? Is it a problem? Have you had them removed or not? If you can help Socal answer any of these questions and more, or have any other advice to offer him, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: I really like my best friend but I dont want to scare him away

Hi QC,

So I’m living the old story about having a crush on my best friend, but at the same time this is a very different kind of story because we were “fuck buddies” for 2 years before we had a real friendship.

Since last September we started hanging out together on a regular basis, talking just about everything for hours at a time, going to concerts, doing lunch. Just doing normal friend stuff minus the sex, but then he started seeing this guy and has been dating him for the last 4 months.

From what we have talked about and from what I can see, he is now really unhappy. His head says ¨get out of this relationship¨ but his heart says ¨I cant – I’m too in love¨. His boyfriend is not here nor there sometimes, although he is really nice and attentive sometimes, most of the time he is like “whatever”.

Its not like I want them to break apart either, I tell myself everyday that everything is going to be fine and work out in the end. But sometimes during our conversations, he says. ¨I need somebody to come and rescue me out of this relationship¨!

So now I don’t know if he is throwing me hints and whether I should step up and say something… or is just a comment he’s making?

I’m really terrified that if I say something to him then he will react badly and stop being friends. I would literally die in my heart if that happened and I wouldn’t be able to take that pain of losing him… what should I do?

Please help, I’m so confused!!!

DP

Hi DP and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. So dear QC readers what advice would you give? It’s obvious that DP has deep feelings for his best friend but how would you handle this situation? Have you experienced being in a situation like this before? How did things work out? If you can help DP in any way, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: Am I A Weak Walled Bottom?

Hi QC,

I love bottoming, just really can’t get enough, but unfortunately if I bottom more than three or so times a week I end up getting torn and bleeding for a few days.

I’ve done everything I can think of, making sure to void myself prior so that’s not in there getting knocked around, I put lotion on in hopes that it’ll keep me stronger. And while this all seems to help some it hasn’t made the problem go away yet.

I know some guys clench down too much and that can cause distress, but I really don’t think I’m doing that either.

Any advice?

Brent

Hi Brent and thanks for your question, I’m sure we have some bottoming sexperts who know a thing or two! So how would you help Brent? What bottoming advice would you give? If you can help him in any way, or have been in a similar situation then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!

Ask QC: How Can I Tell if He’s Gay?

Hi guys,

Okay so this might sound stupid, but there’s this really really hot guy at a Starbucks by my house, and I cannot for the life of me tell if he is gay or not!

He’s really nice and I catch him looking at me, but it might all just be in my head. How can I, (1) Tell if he is gay or not? (when the only time I see him is at his job) and (2) How can I ask him out or give him my number or something?

Thank you!

Dan

Hi Dan and thanks for writing in – I’m sure our readers have plenty of suggestions for you! How would you handle this situation? What’s the best way to approach a guy and find out if he’s interested or not? If you can help Dan answer any of these questions and more, or have any other advice to offer him, then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!