Recently, we received this letter from a long-time reader that raised some really serious questions, so we’re passing it along to you. This issue is particularly important to address, especially as a community formed around the consumption of pornography. Part Ask QC, part discussion space, let’s talk it out, eh?
Hi Queerclick family,
This isn’t so much a “question to ask,” but more a hope that we, as Queerclick users and consumers of gay pornography, can have a discussion. There was a comment made on a recent post (Authentic Footballers: Cesar) about the young model’s body type. Now I’ve seen these types of comments multiple times in multiple photo spreads across my time as a Queerclick user. Only one other time have I decided to make a remark about the language being used – in some ways, I suppose, I’ve become numb to it. The “it” I’m referring to is the hateful, cruel language we like to easily dish out when something doesn’t suit our fancy. I’ve always wondered what motivates someone to make a cruel comment – they are obviously expending energy to write this comment when I would think that if you didn’t like something you’ve seen, you’d move on rather quickly as opposed to lingering even longer.
Now that isn’t what I’m trying to get at – the discussion I want to start is that of gay bodies in gay spaces. We’re on the outset of a historic time of representation in LGTBQ history – a standing (U.S.) President is accepting of our community, we have multiple new LGBTQ identified politicians (including Tammy Baldwin, the first openly gay Senator) and our visibility is higher than ever. Why is it, then, that we continue to hate ourselves? Many of us bash other gay men who aren’t our idyllic versions of beauty, we continue the cruel traditions of gossiping and uneducated judgment – for what purpose? What good does it do when an out-group tears itself apart from the inside out?
Now, to be clear, I’m not saying all gay men do this but it is indeed part of popular gay culture. Think of our media representations (The A List, anyone?) or our strong presence in realms that cultivate ideals of beauty and worth through appearance only (fashion for instance). Why has anorexia, bulimia and steroid use been on a continual rise in gay communities? Why do we continue to punish ourselves? An unfortunate truth is that many of us feel we have to continue working in a patriarchal structure that demands us to be dimorphic in nature: feminized or hyper masculinized. To be anything other than these two things is to be more “other-ed” than being gay already is.
I understand Queerclick is seen as a novel source of porn for some (maybe even most) but to me, it’s something more. It is a conglomeration of contributions by gay men for gay men (or those who appreciate the bodies of gay men). Do we objectify and consume these bodies? Yes. But need we be cruel in doing so? No. I think back to when I discovered Queerclick as a high school freshman and I avidly read Steve Prince’s “A Gay in the Life”. For the first time in my life, I was seeing a positive gay influence. He made me laugh, made me cry – but more than that, he made me feel like it was okay to be me. He represented the best of what Queerclick can be, to me. Yes, I love gay porn. Yes, I love getting off. But I also enjoy the history of, stories by, and discussions with gay men.
I’m a senior in college now. I’m very proud of the person I am, but I’m constantly fighting a struggle each day – that struggle is the world we live in, the culture we complicate and REINFORCE and the history we share as gay men. My ideal man is somebody who has hair, a healthy weight and will love me for all the shitty and great things I do. I feel no need to force this ideal on anyone nor do I feel like I contribute anything good to young gay men, black gay men, old gay men, overweight gay men, hairy gay men, skinny gay men, average gay men, JUST GAY MEN when I bash someone else for their characteristics. We get enough of that from the world we live in.
I’m really not trying to preach, I’m just saying – asking, really – that you choose your words more carefully. I fight to censor my own quick mouth. I’m insanely opinionated and when I feel like another gay man is giving me a sideways look, I feel like snatching weaves right and left. But I don’t want to create that kind of world if my future son happens to be gay. I want him to see that while the world and people around him aren’t perfect, love is all around him. Queerclick has a lot of power to do positive things like reinforcing the inherent goodness we each have inside as proud gay men. Our words on this site, our voices, our opinions matter; they can create cruelty or heal with kindness. I hope I’m not the only one who sees this.
Thanks,
MyRecessional
Well first, thanks so much MyRecessional for your extraordinarily heartfelt letter. What do you guys think? This is a particularly important issue to discuss in light of the fact that many gay men, especially in the porn community, are dying at young ages from complications relating to steroid use. [More after the jump.]
Well guys, we’re at our tenth installment of Guess His Dick (not including the non-numbered ones, of course). By now, there’s not much to say; you guys know the drill. We’ve given you a stud, use your x-ray vision and dick detective skills to tell us what his cock is like. Weird vein? Healthy curve? Twelve-inch monster? Whatcha think?
Happy March, folks. This week has been Men.com Week on QC, a week which has left us needing a shower, a cigarette, and some ointment for all the masturbation-related friction burn (we’ve long since run out of lube). How was the week, QueerClickers? Anyone get fucked by a trucker this week? Just us? Oh.
This Marine is as tricky as he is sexy. In all of his pictures, he’s employed the double illusion of shaving and holding his cock at the base. This guy is no rookie; he’s made this case particularly tricky. See what you think.
Did watching the Oscars give you any inspiration for the next award winning production? If you wished you could play a more active role in producing a release at a top studio, your fairy godfather has arrived. Men.com is giving you QueerClickers a very special opportunity to design and build your very own scene!
A Men.com membership gives you access to six exclusive sites, each with a very distinct theme. Let’s collectively decide which theme we shall go for, shall we? #1 Big Dicks At School
Watch horny frat boys put their huge cocks to good use! These students are horned up and ready to fuck their teachers, coaches and classmates.
This week’s caper comes to us from the long arm of the military and has a tongue that could give Gene Simmons a run for his money. Plus he looks like he knows his way around an ass. So what is this Marine packing? Hell, if you can correctly guess dick size of the guy at the urinal in the background, I’ll give you twenty bucks.*
Hey QueerClickers! Thank RuPaul/Paul Ryan/Ryan Gosling/Joan Crawford/whatever goddess you pray to that the week is finally over. This week, we’re starting a new thread, which we’re dubbing our QC RoundUp. Admit it, this is even more awesome than the the time Regina George punched you in the face.
As the week winds down, we want to take a break from our regularly scheduled programming (cocks, abs, lube, etc) to look back at some comments and tweets you guys made about cocks, abs, lube, etc. A small-scale “week in rewind” feature. Plus, we want to hand over the comment thread here to you; do with it whatever you want. Especially if what you want involves posting awkwardly-lit cock pictures. Or, I guess you can give us your two cents about these (sure to be hilarious and deeply meaningful) posts, complain about your dipshit coworkers, or brag about some particularly great and sleazy sex you had involving rusty nails and a neck tattoo. We’re imagining a smutty pub-type setting in which you can have a drink and unwind with your fellow QueerCitizens. You know, like any gay bar on the planet after 2am. Who knows, maybe you’ll even get lucky.
Be warned, this particular porn break is a little heavy. I recommend getting off before watching, because this video will almost certainly kill your boner. But it’s also pretty awesome.
When last we posted one of his videos, the general reaction to Davey Wavey seemed to be “Very cute, just don’t open your mouth!” And isn’t that always the case? Well, you’re in luck. With this week’s Guess His Dick, I bring you Davey Wavey 2.0: All of the Abs, None of the Talking! What do you think this fitness “guru” turned YouTube demi-celebrity is packing down-under? Hint: Guess ambitiously.
Because of a very unfortunate technicality, this hot guy didn’t make the Guess His Dick cut. After all, I’m afraid he never actually shows us the goods. However, because I am boundlessly dedicated to keeping your boners afloat, dear readers, I am bending the rules and bringing you this GHD outtake. I’ll be damned if a technicality is going to keep us from enjoying this stud!
Recently, a writer we’ve never heard of put together a totally arbitrary — but nonetheless hilarious — list of the top 100 tweets of 2012. Here are some favorites. You can check out the rest of the list here. Obviously we feel pretty strongly that the tweet about sucking off a unicorn should have been #1.
Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to sleep with two brothers? Does dick size run in the family? Last month, Sean Cody introduced us to two hot brothers, Sam and Kieth, who are both smokin’ hot. The presence of a fraternal set of SC jerk-off scenes practically begs for comparison. Sure, these two share more than just a passing family resemblance, but you’re all dying to know how their custard chuckers measure up. Sam is the older brother, but is his dick bigger? I present to you a purely scientific investigation of brotherly cocks.
This week’s GHD contender is an unknown, made all the more mysterious by the fact that he seems to have a phone in his bathroom. Maybe he receives important calls on the toilet? Or maybe people can phone in to request additional bathroom mirror pics. I don’t know, but who am I to judge, really?
This week’s entry is another mystery man. All I can say in advance about this week’s contender is that he’s built, he looks eerily like a guy I used to date, and judging from the striped skank top, he’s probably playing for our team. Whaddaya guys think?
I’ve got a little arts and crafts project for you, QueerClickers. Evidently there’s a South African artist selling kits that allow couples to make paintings while shagging each other rotten. This approach to home improvement comes hot on the heels of post-prison Martha Stewart’s latest book “Curtains, Penetration, and You.” These kits also make a perfectly romantic Valentine’s Day gift. They say, “I’d really like to think of that time I was inside you and covered in paint every time I look at my wall.”
How’d you guys do this week? Our contestant is tall, dark, and handsome, and it turns out he’s packing more than enough heat to make us squeal. What do you guys think?
