noun: crabs or any other communicable STI in your anogenital region. Though “cootchie” properly refers to a vagina, it can apply to mangina too.
Ex: “But Bob couldn’t have sex with him because he has a bad case cootchie crickets. Oh yeah. It’s like A Bug’s Life down there. Somebody call the Orkin Man!”
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noun: Puke play. Kinda like golden showers (piss play), but with vomit (vomit being multi-colored and hence, “rainbow”).
ex: Kevin got so drunk last night that he ended up accidentally giving a rainbow shower to the guy he’s dating. I know… sick, right?
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noun: someone you thought was hot while you were dating that now makes you question your selection criteria.
Ex: “Look! Here’s a pic of me and my new boyfriend.”
“Ugh! He reminds me of my last oyfriend.”
“What’s an oyfriend?”
“Let me show you. Here’s his Facebook picture.”
“Oy!”
“ExACTly!”
Thanks to Bob for the Queerism! Submit your own Queerism HERE!
noun: Someone who is overly clinical about sex, taking all the spontaneous fun out of it.
ex: He was such a sexnician. He had to lay out towels all over the bed and got up to wash lube off his hands three times in the middle of everything. And as soon as he came, he had to clean off in the shower before helping me finish.
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noun: Gay + Lady, a prim proper and respectable gay man who conducts himself with grace and poise even under lustful pressure or sexual temptation.
ex: He wanted me to blow him, but I am a gaydy. I don’t blow anybody until after the second date.
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noun: A reference to the small furry treehouse-dwelling, primitive species in Star Wars, it also refers to furry pocket gays, basically a short bearish guy.
ex: I just love Daniel! He’s only five feet tall and has such a hairy chest! He’s such a sexy Ewok!
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noun: An affectionate name for a bottom or for someone who’s ass you’ve sprayed with jism. Similar to “sticky buns” or “honey bun”, but with a more overt reference to jism.
ex: Ooo, girl, hold this drink. I gotta go say hello to that fine piece of ass. Hey there cumbuns! How you doin’? We gonna hang out this weekend? What you doing tonight? Yeah, another round of breakfast sounds good. You bring the cinnamon rolls and I’ll bring the icing… you hot fuck.
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noun: A straight guy who hangs out with lesbians. Basically the lesbian equivalent of a fag hag or fruit fly.
ex: Yeah, a lot of guys thinks Samir’s gay because he hangs out with lezzies, but he’s totally straight, he’s just a lezbro. Every now and then he gets to make out with one of them too. I know, what a jerk!
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noun/verb: Wasting time, especially when you should be working, by jerking-off.
ex: Yeah, I had to finish my doctoral dissertation last month, but instead of rewriting my section on quantum thermodynamics, I went on to QueerClick and enjoyed a little procrasturbation.
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noun: Superb sperm, especially in potency or taste.
ex: Mmm… after he shot me in the face, I licked my cheek and found that his load tasted like peach soda. Now that’s what I call superm.
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noun: Your appearance immediately after having your face sat on (looking very disheveled and kinda skeezy).
ex: Geez girl, what the hell happened to you? Your face is all dirty and you smell all musky. Did you just have a sit on my facial?
Thanks to Vaginal Davis for the submission! Submit your own Queerism HERE!
noun: A crappy person or situation, especially one that makes it difficult to do something fun
ex: Man, if Jarrod weren’t acting like such an ass castle we might have actually enjoyed porn bingo.
Thanks to Taylor B. for the submission! Submit your own Queerism HERE!
noun: One with a bitchy personality whom also wears preppy labels such as Abercrombie.
ex: Oh mah gawd, he’s such an Abercrombie & Bitch! I told him his flip-flops were last season and he just snapped! Loved his top though.
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noun: someone who looks great from far away but like a big ol’ mess once you get close up. Named after Claude Monet, an impressionist painter whose works look beautiful when viewed far back but like big smears of caked-on oil close up.
ex: Remember that hot guy at the bar? Doctor Sexy? Yeah, he was a total Monet. I thought he was a 35-year-old muscle jock from the other side of the dance floor. But when I went up and bought him a drink, I saw he was a sagging queen with eight teeth, sun wrinkles, and a beer gut. Blecch!
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noun: The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. Coined by gay sex columnist Dan Savage after right-wing political bigot Rick Santorum.
ex: So when he pulled out, he had all this santorum covering his cock and it got all over his leg and my mother’s comforter—it was great!
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noun: a heterosexual man who either enjoys the company of, or simply has numerous friends that are gay men.
ex: Chris won’t mind going to the gay bar with us, he’s a total fag stag. He’ll just end up getting us all to do shots and hitting on the fruit flies who enter the bar. What a dude!
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