QueerClick

Of course that's possible. And the causes can differ: lack of lust, difficult past life-events, narrow or cluttered veins (which can have lot's of reasons), too narrow foreskin, plain anxiety or even Peyronie's desease. See a doctor- not a website!

Yes, it is. And please know that it isn't because you're not attracted to the person...Don't give up on the person who you/him tried to have sex with. Please don't! I had that experience with a total package guy: honest, loyal, smart, in shape, empathetic, good sense of humor--only for myself to go limp when I got in bed with him. I didn't know why that happened. He took that as I wasn't interested in him, when the opposite was true. I WAS interested in him, and my cock just wasn't matching my brain and emotions. Sad to say, I never communicated that with the guy I liked. He moved on. I think because I think he was disheartened that he thought I wasn't into him and just wanted to be friends. So please, if the guy is an understanding guy, it might be good to bring it up in conversation, just to let him know you do want to spend time with him on a romantic or even just exploratory level. You don't have to have total complete sex all the time, but there is value in being intimite with somebody, having them to have physical fun with in a laidback setting. Especially if he's a laidback, understanding guy. Those are HARD and RARE to find, take it from me!

If the guy is an empathetic guy, and he's attracted to you, he'll almost definitely be up for exploring with you, taking it easy, and being patient.

So my advice is communicate with your friend. Just bring it up. He'll understand. Tell him what's on your mind. You want to keep the keepers, even if you don't plan to totally marry this guy and have five kids together. Empathetic, good guys are hard to find in this gay world.

This happened to me when I was in my early twenties. The problem went away after I quit smoking. I don't know if you smoke, but if you do, try quitting or cutting back and see if that helps.

Obviously, before anyone can provide a relevant and coherent answer, the question must be accurately understood.

> it goes soft as fast as it got hard

CLARIFICATION: Does he mean "it goes soft AFTER he has ejaculated", or before ejaculation/even without him having ejaculated/without him reaching ejaculation stage?

Are you on any medication? I started having issues and expressed my concern to my dr. and she reviewed my file and at the time I was taking several medications that had the side effect of lower sex drive and causing erectile dysfunction. We had a long talk about all the things I could do to help with the problem.

While it may be embarassing to you DO NOT neglect discussing this with your dr. because there are alot more things that can cause ED besides performance anxiety; some are serious health issues that you might have to address.

If it is simply a matter of performance anxiety I totally agree with Randy that you should communicate the problem with your friend and if he doesn't understand/makes fun of you/is cruel then that is not someone that you need to be around. Destructive people/relationships can end up causing you even more harm and reinforce any psychological issues that you may be struggling with that are causing the ED.

Everyone has their own opinions about what is best for them. YOU need to figure out how you want to try to cope with the problem and work from there. Whatever happens and you decide to do I hope things work out for you.

As Albert said, medication can cause this, but I want to further clarify that by including ALL drugs -- whether they're for medical purposes or not.

At your age it could very well be a medical or psychological issue and you should seek professional help. An occasional performance issue wouldn't be uncommon, but if it's occurring often enough to cause concern, you NEED to know what's going on; Is it stress? Is it something I'm taking? Is it a minor medical issue? It is it a major medical issue? Am I overreacting to a relatively common condition? Will it go away on its own? Am I risking anything by not pursuing this professionally?

Professionals can help you answer those questions, that's their job. If you have any qualms about consulting a professional out of embarrassment -- They've dealt with far more personal issues than whether or not someone can maintain a satisfactory erection.

If you'd hesitate due to financial concerns, I don't know the best course of action, maybe someone else can suggest the best course of action if that's the case.

It is definitely possible. I am 26 years old and as far as I can remember, I have had erectile dysfunction. GO TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR! I waited, and missed out on a lot of great stuff. All it took for me was a prescription. Your doctor will know. Best of luck!

I was a very late bloomer who started having sex at about 27. It took me 6 times of having sex with the same guy to be comfortable enough to get a hard dick. I was mortified and had a real complex about it. It was all I thought about. Now that I am comfortable with my sexualtity and my body and stuff, I can have sex and get and keep an erection. :) Thank god!! lol

talk to your partner or potential partner. if he's a good guy, he'll understand.

it's not your fault. it may be nerves, it may be meds, it may be mental distractions, it may be you need more time to get hard, or stay hard (as in my case), i got soft suddenly, and i'm not on meds or have any other unusual issues, mentally or physically.

but if you want to explore with a steady guy intimately...just communicate. it does wonders. and you'll see how cool the other guy is if you are honest with him and he's a cool guy.