UPDATE: Greg Oden Apologizes For Having A Big Dick


Oh blessed internet, is there anything you can’t do? Why, just yesterday, you provided us with the hanging penis of Portland Trail Blazer Greg Oden. And today, you bring us his requisite apology video. According to him, he got woken up by a 6am call about his cock pics. We certainly wouldn’t mind being woken up at 6am because of his cock. We’d just roll over and let Greg punch his one-way ticket to Pound Town.
Also he keeps saying he’s pretty embarrassed and sorry for embarrassing his family and his organization, but if we were his family we’d be high-fiving each other because our genetic pool gave him basketball skillz and a huge dick. Also, as we said yesterday, his organization knows that those pictures have raised a whole new crop of Oden fans rearing to see him in action… off the court, that is. So even though we feel bad for Greg, it’s not the end of the world. He might even benefit from a little sexy press.
Although, he can kiss any Wheaties promo goodbye. Most people don’t like thinking about sucking big fat dick while eating breakfast; although we do. Cock’s the breakfast of champions.

Jan 27, 2010 By paperbagwriter 4 Comments