QueerClick

"I am reminded of a colleague who reiterated 'all my homosexual patients are quite sick' - to which I finally replied 'so are all my heterosexual patients.'"

"Did you hear about the Scottish drag queen?  He wore pants."

Anyone who's ever had a condom break during sex knows that the reaction can range from smug satisfaction ("I told you we shoulda bought those magnums.") to outright horror ("OH MY GOD, I'M DYYYYIIIIIIINNNNNNG!!!"). But it's not like scientists can test every condom before packaging them. For one, they'd get too tired. For two, there aren't enough lab animals in the world to test them on. And for three, who wants Einstein's sloppy seconds? Ewwww...

That's where the condom testing robot comes in. The makers of Durex Condoms, SSL International, have a Cambridge Technical Centre where they keep their "coital model"—a big robo-phallus that thrusts repeatedly into an box resembling a subwoofer—it kinda looks like something from Butt Machine Boys.

Anyway, they created the robot to study why condoms break and published their findings in the journal Contraception. Here's what they found:

Over a period of 7 years, broken condoms returned to a supplier (SSL, Durex) via consumer complaints were examined to determine the cause of failure. Also, some consumers who reported breakage but did not return condoms were sent a questionnaire on the causes of breakage.

Err... wait a second. Are you saying that Durex wants you to return used, broken condoms so they can examine them? Cripes! Do you just drop it in an envelope or tape it to a postcard? Anyway, back to their conclusions...

Evidence combined from examining returns, questionnaire responses and the coital model strongly suggests a single predominant mechanism of failure we named "blunt puncture," where the tip of the thrusting male penis progressively stretches one part of the intact condom wall until it ultimately breaks.

In the end, they concluded that "blunt puncture" causes 90% of broken condoms not attributable to misuse (re: making balloon animals pre-coitus). Condom companies typically test their condoms using airburst, electric blockage, and water leak testing, but there's no substitute for human intelligence. Even their big-dicked robot didn't know how to put on a condom for itself, so make sure you learn how, eh?

QC Condom Related Features:
Durex "Balloon Animal Sex" Ad
Belgian Love Condom Ads Feature Celebrity Cocks
"Safer Sex Is Hotter Sex"
QC FYI: How Many Condoms Are Too Many?

"I don't think turning figure skating into some kind of X-Games event will promote figure skating to the male population of especially North America, but also the world. This kind of talk has been going around for some time, about making the men more masculine and the women more feminine. But it's not figure skating if you don't have the freedom to express yourself and make something beautiful. That's my goal every time I get new music and get new costumes: to tell a story and to put on a show.

"To butch up figure skating is a ridiculous idea, because there's no putting me in some two-piece pants suit to skate in. [Laughs.] I love my glitter, I love my prettiness, I love getting my hair done before the events, I love putting on makeup because I'm going to be on TV. I know Elvis Stojko was a big proponent for butching up men's skating, but I have a hard time taking suggestions from a man who rocked purple pajamas in the Olympic Games and World championships. In my opinion, anyone who wants to change the actual people who are doing the figure skating can suck it."

Thanks to Joe.My.God.

The world is not divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning sexual behavior the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.

I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, "Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?" I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: "Why don't we have a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day?" My mom would always say, "Every day is Kid's Day." To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?

There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.

Every now and then our features editor gets backed up onto someone's dick with a wealth of un-published material. So with a backlog of QC FYI material, he threw together this mixed bag of medical info for pervs and nerds alike.

Better Sex Through Food

Everyone knows that oysters are a natural aphrodisiac, right? WRONG! Well, not unless you eat 50 to get the sex benefits from zinc iodine. Well how about red hot chili peppers, or half a bottle of wine? The fact is that seemingly boring foods pumpkin seeds, asparagus, and and vanilla ice cream contain more sexual boosters than the more famous "sex foods."

You should check out the entire list for yourself. Luckily, the list of good sexfoods includes chocolate covered strawberries, sirloin steak, bananas and other genitally-shaped edibles. Plus, with just a minor tweak in your diet, you can dramatically improve your libido!

What do you eat to get yourself in the mood?

6 Ridiculous Sex Myths That Are actually True

Ever heard the one about the guy who gets his wiener stuck in a pool drain? How about the guy who called for a hooker and got his daughter instead? Or the groom who played a video of him fucking a dog at his wedding reception? Turns out they're all true and Cracked has the details.

One of the most interesting stories is about an "orgasm pill" called clomipramine:

An anti-depressant in use since the 60s, this little pill has the sexual prowess of most NBA superstars but with less VD and paternity disputes. It also causes weight gain, nausea and, oddly enough, impotence in men; but even a fat, nauseous dude with a limp noodle has to be pretty stoked if he's having spontaneous orgasms.

And, sure enough, around one in 20 people that take the pill will get off whenever they yawn... keep in mind that while five percent of people experience orgasms, most of the other 95 percent have the exact opposite reaction.

In addition to its six strange sex tales, there's also links to the 6 strangest object people have been caught having sex with and 18 of the world's most disturbing sex toys—brills.

Macho Men Don't Do Prostate Exams

Ever met one of those "total tops" who are so butch that they'll never wear pink, cry at musicals, or let you slip a pinky finger into their hoo-ha? They're not just just uptight, they're also less likely to get prostate exams or make simple preventative medical visits, so says a study done by the Rutgers University in New Jersey.

They got 1000 middle-aged men to respond to eight statements on a scale from strongly agree to strongly disagree. These statements included, "The husband should have the final say when it comes to making important home purchases" and "It bothers me when a man does something that I consider 'feminine.'" Those with higher levels of machismo were less likely to go in for a check-up, a flu shot, or a prostate exam.

Men who strongly endorsed macho ideals were 26 percent less likely than other participants to have received a physical exam in the prior year, nearly 30 percent less likely to have completed a prostate exam and nearly 50 percent less likely these and a flu shot in the prior year.

The researchers suggest several reasons for why macho men would avoid preventive healthcare. For instance, men in high-status jobs "do not want to feel emasculated by placing themselves in the subordinate position of patient," the researchers note.

C'mon bro. It's totally not gay if you let a doctor stick his prober into your chutthole, unless you get a boner... fag.

You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.