Ask QC: Meeting the Parents

Dear QC,

I’m 26 years old and living with an absolutely gorgeous man of 32 with whom I want to share the rest of my life together. We are both very much in love, and on Christmas Day he proposed, which really swept me off my feet!

I feel I am ready for this, (although we haven’t actually worked out where we will have our commitment ceremony) but I do have a problem, one which actually terrifies me – meeting his parents! I’m sure some may feel it pales in comparison with other problems here, but when my BF has asked me to meet his parents I just freaked out completely.

We’ve been together for nearly two years now, live, work together and share our lives completely. But this is our life and one which we have carved out for ourselves in NYC, and the thought of meeting his overbearing parents chills me. Although I have never met them personally, I know that my BF was bullied and abused by his parents, who shunned him when he came out. Now that he has a successful business, worked through college with no help from them, I’m perplexed that he wants to travel all the way back to Texas for this meeting. Worst yet, is that his parents live out of town so we will be trapped in their house for the whole weekend.

Part of the problem I have is that I am angry with the way his family have treated him, and I anticipate them being judgmental of both me and of our relationship. And I’m not even sure what the correct etiquette is in a situation like this, what our sleeping arrangements will be, do I take a gift, nor do I know if I will be able to hold back and tell them just exactly what I think of them?

I’m not sure I can go through with this, but his mind is set on the ‘Meeting the Parents’ thing, so I would dearly appreciate any advice on how to get through this much dreaded weekend. Thanks everyone.

Dean R.

What experiences have you been through when meeting the parents, any advice tips or horror stories? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice for Dean in the comments section.
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