Marc Jacobs and Husband Lorenzo Martone Enjoy Christmas Fun In the Caribbean

While you were busy giving your nephew socks this Christmas, fashion designer Marc Jacobs and his husband Lorenzo Martone took their Louis Vuitton towels and $5000 Birkin bags for some fun and sun in the Caribbean. Don’t the two hunky hubbies look cute in their skin tight bathing suits? While muscle otter Marc adjusted bearish Lorenzo’s silver necklace (because nothing’s more important at a beach than wearing a large silver necklace), your mother won another hand of gin rummy and ate an old dinner roll filled with cold ham.
“Ha ha!” said Lorenzo reclining on his Egyptian cotton towel, “Isn’t this fabulous? It makes me wonder what the common people do during their beloved Christmas holiday.”*
“Plebians,” Marc said, frowning and wiping a single grain of sand from his perfectly elongated man-lashes.
See more of their fabulously opulent Christmas holiday, after the jump!
*EDITOR’S NOTE: This conversation only happened in our writer’s jealous little mind.

After putting on shades to shield his eyes from his glittering necklace, Lorenzo yawned and said to Marc, “Maybe you and I should make a sex tape.”
Marc smirked like the queen of France and said, “Don’t you know I have been recording every instance of lovemaking we’ve ever shared since our first date?” And with that he wickedly laughed. At which point Lorenzo seized his face and said, “Betrayer!”
“Oh calm down, grumpy bear,” Marc said, dispatching his pony-tailed lover with a single scowl. He then put a single finger on Loreno’s crotch and said, “I could buy and sell your penis for mere pennies if I felt like it, so you had better to behave.”
At which point, Lorenzo handed over his shades and said, “I’m sorry, my liege. You are truly the more beautiful of us two. Please, accept these as my apology.” Then, bored with their own fabulousness, both men rose, donned their Louis Vuitton towels as capes and returned to their beach loft to eat Faberge eggs.
EDITOR’S NOTE: There is no reason to wear your hair up in a small ponytail like that ever.
Via Sticky