PataPORN With Chinpoko

It’s a new dawn, a new year, and a new dick for 2010’s Pataporn With Chinpoko. You know, dear fans, that I have always strived to give you the best of the best, the cummiest of the cumworthy, the sluttiest of the sluttiness. Well, now I’ve instituted my own rating system. This way, all you lazy asses that won’t read the gilded precious words that I slave over can get your porn review fix quick! I’ve even added a few fun new features that’ll keep you up on everything QC has to offer. So, onward and upward to this year’s New PataPORN with Chinpoko!

Sean Cody: Isaac and Matt
RATING – 5 of 5: CUMWORTHY!
You know, sometimes I forget about Sean Cody. I mean, I know he’s always there making porn, but I admit—I don’t always watch. But when I saw that Isaac in this week’s video, I had to tune in to see this adorable guy get pounded.
I can gladly report that Matt pleasantly surprised me. First of all, his body looks even more ripped—if that’s possible. And secondly, I forgot what a good lover Matt is. Yes I said “good lover”, like a bohemian from the 1960’s and I don’t care! He is, dammit.
Matt could have just fucked Isaac like it was his day job; but instead I found myself sensing some actual chemistry between these two.
I love it most when Matt slides inside of Isaac in the missionary position. Isaac almost inhales Matt when they kiss; you can tell he is so attracted to Matt. And the scene of Isacc cumming while Matt’s still inside him is simply Sean Cody at his sexy best. PATA PATA!
Hottest post of the week!

Titan Men: Christopher Saint
RATING – 4 of 5: FULLY ERECT
Christopher Saint is just hotter than well… a lot of other guys. Oh my goodness. I’m so smitten by him that I can’t even draw inappropriate comparisons. What’s happening to me?
This guy has it all. The accent, the body, and a hole that can get stretched for over twenty minutes of intense fucking. Call me sentimental, but I totally beat off to the interview of Chris and Tony Buff. Just listening to him talk made me start getting hard.
I can’t wait to see what Titan does with this precious and sexy gem.

Broke Straight Boys: Logan, Shane and Ricky
RATING – 2 of 5: HALF-COCKED
Broke? Yes. Straight? Um, okay. And, y’know I’m so torn with this post. Shane and Logan are both cute as hell. And watching them fuck Rick is fairly hot. I couldn’t help but get hard, but I gotta ask…is this video really good for the gays?
Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “Chinpoko has a conscience?” Fear not fans, that is not the case. Still, I am a gay dick and I don’t really love the idea of watching three guys having to be talked into having gay sex just for money. It’s like the site is trying to say gay sex is so gross that they have to pay people to do it.
Well, I’m here to tell you that this dick knows dozens of men, straight and gay, who want man-on-man sex for free. And why do they want it? Because gay sex is AWESOME.
And lastly, these guys aren’t great actors or anything. I’d bet twenty bucks that we could see them out in Chelsea any night of the week.

FREAK OF THE WEEK: This is a new PataPORN feature where I highlight the week’s weirdest post. Sometimes it’ll be a freak, sometimes it will just be unique, but it’ll always be unlike anything you’ve seen before!
We Know How You Feel About Twincest, But How About A Father-Son Jerk-Off?
Yeah…um…I’m a bit speechless on this post folks. I mean the cheapness and lowness of this scene is just unnerving. Frankly, I’m appalled that Straight College Men would even post such a thing.
I know I don’t have any ethics, but this is just plain offensive. The fact that they would think anyone would ever be into this is just…gross.
I mean come on…that Dad is so not doing it for me.
I mean, if you’re going to do a father-and-son thing, get a Dad without the beer gut and some teeth. Like Bruce and Brody Jenner. Yes, I know Bruce has gotten a little crazy on the plastic surgery, but I would love to watch that duo take it town together. Mmm… pata pata!
See, and you thought I didn’t have any ethics.

CHINPOKO’S QUICK CUMSHOTS: Like you, I don’t always have time to give full service to all the guys who make me hard. So here are some quick cumworthy posts definitely worth checking out!
Straight Hell: Pierce and Ed: Yes, it’s simulated rape, but watching a best friend forced to lick cum off of his best bud’s ass put me in straight heaven!
Southern Strokes: Kirk and Ryan: Facials and geekiness go hand in hand in this hot scene with Kirk and Ryan.
Men Machine: Brett Wade: With a boyish face and that feathered hair, Brett Wade solo’s scene almost seems like a flashback to the 80’s.
Site of the Week: You like Tony Buff? Check out his website. chock full of dirty extras and pics at his personal website, TonyBuff.com.
So what do ya think dear fans? I think change is a good thing but I always care about what you think…as long as it’s a compliment! PATA PATA! So here’s to the New Year and to you going out there and getting turned on!