PataPORN With Chinpoko

It’s February already? How did this happen? Dear fans—don’t you know you have to remind me of these things? I don’t have a dick for a Valentine’s date. Oh my God! I’m panicking. This is crisis! If only there was one thing that would calm me down? Oh yeah, it’s PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Club Dean: Josh Griffin
RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
Watch out Milton Bradley, this ain’t your Momma’s Twister!
I know some people think oiled up men are gross, but I just think those people have just never been oiled up before. This scene made me wetter than a Slip-n-Slide and these boys just have fun with it. In fact, the chemistry between these two men is great as they laugh and play.
It would be ridiculous if they took themselves too seriously. I mean they are playing Twister, naked, and oiled up. That’s like a gay version of Neil Simon play. Thankfully the guys are laughing all the way. Well, until Josh gets the pounding of his life. Then things get serious. Mom, oiled up fun! Hey, where is that tub of Crisco I had? Damn you Toby!

Island Studs: Koa
RATING OF 5 – CUMWORTHY!
Well done Island Studs, well done. In fact, I think for once they actually found a real Island Stud. Don’t get me wrong, the guys on the site are normally cute. However, they do NOT look like they came off an island… maybe Twink Island. I do like the organization of the site; it reminds me of the Tiki Tiki Room at Disneyland. Sexy.
When I think of an island stud, I think exotic. I think of man with wide shoulders, a broad chest, and a thick palm tree—if ya know what I mean. I can just imagine him walking across the sand as the waves crash along the rocks nestled on the beach. I can barely look at him as he approaches, mainly because he’s so gorgeous, but also the ocean spray slapping me across the face. Hopefully his dick will slap me like that later.
Okay, so maybe I have a fantasy.
Enter reality. Enter Koa.
This guy is beyond gorgeous and his relaxed attitude exemplifies what Hawaii is all about. Aloha Koa. If Island Studs ever showcases some man on man island action, I can only hope Koa is on top of that.
Hottest Post of the Week!

Drake Rock: Jay Daniels
RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
Personal hygiene is paramount when it comes to sex. A lot of people think that manscaping is something you do in private. However, Drake Rock thinks shaving your privates should be public.
Now, a question dear fans? Have you ever shaved your balls? If you haven’t, you should. Not only does it look clean, but it feels incredible. Especially when someone’s got their mouth on your newly shorn love-nuts; the sensation’s worth the critical care it takes to shave your boys. If you’re too scared to even take a blade to Kool and the Gang, here’s a video to help.
Okay, back to the porn. What can I say people? It’s fun to see someone be so vulnerable. I mean, what if you let someone take a blade to your nuts? I bet you might not be as hard as Jay was the entire time.
Besides that the video is okay… until the facial. Yum! Pata Pata!

FREAK OF THE WEEK: Drake Cameron: Scott
Why don’t people listen to me? Why?
Dear fans, I would like you to take a look at the pictures and tell me what is wrong…
THE HAIR!
Ah! Yes it’s my pet peeve. This video actually hurts me. Why? Because Scott is an adorable boy with a lovely face, and a delicious cock, and a great smile—with 1940’s Vampire hair.
Seriously, I can’t tell if he’s a greaser, a game show host, or someone’s nerdy Dad who actually is a pedophile.
This just ain’t right.

CHINPOKO’S QUICK CUMSHOTS
Cocksure Men: Gay Coach 3: Chinpoko singing: Put it in coach, I’m ready to play…today.
Active Duty: Danny: Danny is one soldier who can shoot his gun anytime!
Perfect Guyz: Christian Wilde: Looks like Perfect Guyz really did find the perfect, inked up model! Pata pata!
Well, this was a great distraction, but now back to reality. I need a date. Does anyone know any good single pricks around that might treat me to dinner and an evening at a sex club? Yes, I want romance on someone else’s budget. I won’t deny I’m a cheap prick. So I’m going to go see what I can scrounge up for Valentine’s Day, and you go out there and get turned on!