PataPORN With Chinpoko

June is busting out all over… HOPEFULLY ON YOUR FACE! Yes, I think I made that joke last June, but it’s so good. But I DO know what will make you bust out all over your own face… this week’s PataPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Xtra Inches: Gunner and Ricky Sinz
RATING OF 5 – CUMWORTHY!
Whew! Xtra inches hit my fantasy right on the tip of the head! PATA PATA!
Can I just say that Gunner is one of the hottest names ever for man? Really it is. I think there was G.I. Joe character named Gunner that used to always give me a chubby. The name sounds so rough, tough, and ready to fuck.
Well, Gunner owns up to his namesake in this video. Not only does he have the thickest freakin’ prick I’ve seen in a while, he also has no mercy on Ricky’s tight hole. Gunner slams his cock way up into Ricky so much, I bet that boy gets a tickle in his throat while getting fucked.
This video had me at hello. Okay, they never actually say “hello”. It’s more like it had me at skater hats and tons of tattoos. OH! Chinpoko loves the bad boys!!!!
HOTTEST POST OF THE WEEK!

Cocksure Men: Hay Hikers
RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
Aww nature. The birds are signing, the leaves on the trees are bustling at the morning breeze, and the sun sheds its warmth on a new, bright day. In fact, nothing creates a true pastoral scene like a good butt-fucking.
That’s a great set up right? You’re wondering how can someone fuck this up, right? I mean you’re asking yourself, who could make a boring porn video filmed in wondrous, gorgeous nature, WITH A BARN, and fuck that up? Who could POSSIBLY DO THAT?
Ah, Cocksure Men…you fucked it up. You just fucked it up.
Okay, maybe I’m being harsh. The scene has some great components. For one, both guys are cute. Second…um…wait…did I mention the hot guys already?
A huge problem with shooting outside is lighting. Sunlight is NOT your friend. It washes everything out and creates huge shadows. And since this is not Tim Burton porn, shadows in porn just means you can’t see Dakota Rivers’ cock sliding in and out of Jake Steel’s hole. That’s not right. Jake Steele has too hot of a hole to miss.
Also, I was expecting some great country set up for the location. Honestly, fucking on a hay bale isn’t enough. I need to know WHY those boys are fucking on a hay bale. Yes, I know I’m a bitch but they are called porn actors, and God dammit, if Cocksure Men is going to blow have their budget on a gorgeous location then I want a mother-fucking story. The Lone Ranger & Tonto, or Jesse James and some other outlaw that I can’t remember because I’m a little drunk. Come on! Give me something!

Corbin Fisher: Trey Fucks Jonas
RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
Dick. It’s what’s for dinner.
At least for Jonas it is. Jonas has a rocking chest, ripped abs, and an ass that is so hungry it makes Carnie Wilson seem anorexic.
Seriously, the boy’s ass practically swallows Trey’s long cock. The making out and the sixty-nine are a great part of the scene, but I didn’t get really hard until the fucking.
And not only is Jonus a hungry bottom, Trey is a big dick tease—which makes for some great porn. Trey teases Jonus’ hole with his head while Jonus is literally begging him to put it back in.
Hmmm, maybe I should invite Jonus over for dinner. I’m sure I could give him something to fill him up. PATA PATA PATA!


FREAK OF THE WEEK
Corbin Fisher: Trey Fucks Jonas
Aw Steven Daigle, you ain’t in Kansas anymore bitch.
I know Steven is new to porn, but I’m wondering where did he get this idea that the porn business a one big, rosy, and peachy-keen family? Girl! Have you met Chi Chi LaRue? Bitch ain’t known as Miss Congeniality.
Still, Steven is cute and I can only hope he’ll man up and grow a thick skin. But woo… this boy is green! It will be interesting to see how he lasts. Oh, he can last with me. PATT PATA! What can I say? I like dirty reality stars. Really? Are you surprised?

CHINPOKO’S QUICK CUMSHOTS
Men Over 30: Alex & Ricky – Don’t let the weird Olan Mills inspired still pictures fool you, this scene is all kinds of hot.
Cody Cummings: Cody and Shane Frost – Cody Cummings in another jack off scene–wait! Wait! It’s a sneak attack blowjob. Pata pata!
Brent Corrigan, Brent Everett, and Pierre Fitch Are The New Fleshjack Boys – Fleshjack has got a new trio to brand their sex toys. It’s the 3 Muska-QUEERS! Watch out for those swords!
Oh my goodness! How funny was I this week? I mean, June makes me funny. Who knew? Wait why aren’t you laughing? You don’t think I’m funny. Well, I may not be funny but you can’t deny that throbbing erection in your pants. Looks like I’m doing something right! PATA PATA! Now beat off then get out there and get turned on!