QCrimes: This Old Man* Will Mow Your Lawn If You Blow Him

*Note: Old man pictured is not the one referred to in this story.
After an officer noticed an 80-year-old man leering at him outside the bathroom at the National Park Service, the old man followed him into the toilet and proceeded to dangle his junk through the glory hole of the officer’s adjoining stall. The officer having sworn to prevent such public indecency, came into the old guy’s stall where he found G-paw pulling up his jeans. The officer then apprehended the solicitor, forced him to the ground after the old dude resisted arrest and then cuffed him. The old codger said that he was sorry and going through a divorce and when that didn’t work, he offered to do landscaping if the officer let him go.
We don’t know how often 80-year-olds get it up for public sex, but it seems that Old Man Winter might have wasted his one chance this season to get blown at the local park. Doesn’t he know that he should have offered the landscaping up front in order to get his balls sucked? Seal the deal before you take off your pants! In reality though, it is sad that this old man was so lonely that he took to wagging his junk in front of a paid officer instead of just going to the local bingo hall to get his mangy ball sack chewed on. It’s what all the proper ladies do. Better luck next time, Santa.