Ask QC: Help! I’m Addicted To Viagra!

Hi there,

My name is Mitch. I’m 31-years-old, 5’10”, 185 pounds and a pretty healthy fit guy overall, but I get really nervous in bed, so nervous that I lose my hard-on whenever a guy starts to suck me or bottoms for me—I just dry up. It doesn’t happen all the time, but sometimes when I’m with a hot guy, I’ll feel really intimidated and shrink. Then it never comes back and I feel like a loser.

So a friend of mine suggested that I start popping a boner pill like a Viagra before having sex and it was like a dream come true. I could get hard if the wind blew the right way and I started topping and face-fucking all sorts of beautiful men. It was awesome.

Here’s the thing though: Now I’ve been using ED meds to fuck for the past five years and I wanna stop. I’m used to hooking-up and occasionally fucking while drunk, but I’ve been going through therapy and trying to stop my addictive behaviors. Right now I’ve given myself permission to still hook-up if I wanna, but I wanna try without using pills or alcohol and it’s got me nervous.

I’ve topped and cum before without using the pills, but it’s rare. And now that I’m off the pills, I worry that I’ll go back to going limp in bed. A friend of mine compared it to a fairy tale where someone finds an enchanted object that helps that accomplish something they could do on their own. At the end of the fairy tale, the person learns that the “magical item” wasn’t magic at all.

I kinda hope the Viagra and Cialis are like that, but I’m worried they’re not. Has anyone gone through this problem? How can I help myself stay hard and confident in bed without using drugs and alcohol to help me stay up?

It’s rare that an advice seeker at Ask QC starts a letter off with their height and weight, which leads us to think that you’re putting way too much emphasis on your physical body and performance. Sex and your body are important, but they’re not the only thing when it comes to fucking around. Maybe if you had a sex partner or a fuck buddy that you felt more comfortable with, you could just enjoy being naked and vulnerable around someone without focusing so much on staying hard and cumming. But that’s just our take. What do you say, QueerClickers? How can Mitch stay confident while also staying off the drugs? Please share your experience, opinions, and advice in the QComments section.
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