Ask QC: I Love Anal, But I Can’t Do It

Dear Ask QC,

I loved having anal sex up until a little over 10 years ago. I had rectal surgery and have not been able to have anal sex since. It is just too painful. Literally feels like a bowling ball is trying to go in there and is ripping it to pieces. Not to mention the bleeding that comes with it.

Little by little each year I have been less and less interested in sex. I still like watching porn especially when a guy is pounding another guy but just no real urge to have sex. I would love to find a guy that either has a very thin dick and/or is more interested in a “companion” for life. Seems like most gay men are interested in sex and that it’s a mandatory thing. I read in another person’s question a reply saying that not all men are
interested in sex like that and there are many that have almost completely sexless loving relationships. WHERE ARE THESE SINGLE MEN!?!?

The only one I have found is my ex in Chicago, except he is in a relationship. Are there any more men out there like that or should I just figure I will be alone for the rest of my life?

Thanks,

Ouch!

Hi Ouch! Thank you so much for your question and concerns. The question on everyone’s mind is whether or not you might consider solving this problem by topping instead of bottoming. Another important starting point here is to remember that sex problems (in one form or another) are extremely common, that they don’t need to be a source of shame, and that they are almost always solvable. What are you guys thinking, Queerclickers? Do you have any wisdom to share on the subject? Maybe some sex alternatives that you really, really love? Let’s hear it!
Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!