GQ First Nude Cover Features Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno

GQ First Nude Cover Features Sacha Cohen Baron's Bruno
GQ First Nude Cover Features Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno 2
You may remember the outrageous video of Bruno butthugging Eminem. Well, now Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno is the coverboy for GQ’s first ever nude cover and inside he gives some hilarious fashion advice:

Dear Brüno,
Is it okay to “manscape” down there?

It’s more zan okay; it is most essential. Be careful if you do it yourself, though–yesterday ich tried to self-wax mein arschenhaller und glued meinself to ze bed. Manscaping ist important, but not as crucial as getting regular anal bleaching. If Brüno didn’t get his schmutziger arschenhaller bleached twice a month, his shtinker vould resemble Dizzy Gillespie during a trumpet solo. In Austria anal bleaching ist considered so important zat it’s paid for by ze state. In fact, you cannot run for office if you don’t have a vhite arschwitz. Indeed, ex-chancellor Kurt Waldheim vas elected on ze back of a prishtine anus. Zere are added benefits to getting ze bleaching–on my last session, mein beautician, Klaus, found ze long-lost head of a David Beckham action figure up zere.

Dear Brüno,
How would you define “Obama style”?

Firstly, ich vant to say zat I find Obama an inspiration–it gives me great hope zat, after years of struggle, someone can at last get to ze White House, despite being incredibly hot. On ze other hand, it’s slightly disappointing that he needed zat beard, Michelle, to help him–but vone shtep at a time. In terms of his style, he perfectly bridges Serious und Sexy…Oval Office und Oval Orifice.

Dear Brüno,
The United States military is constantly trying to update its battle gear in the field. Are there ways you would modify the current uniform?

In mein country it’s verboten for ze soldiers to shtup each other–as ein result, to keep ze cravings at bay, over 80 percent of ze Austrian army vear Dickorette patches as part of zeir uniform. Army uniforms have to change; camo zese days ist ein total nicht nicht. I mean come on, it hasn’t been on ze runvays for over fourteen seasons now! For spring-summer 2010, ich vould put ze U.S. Army in bright pastels und slogan T-shirts, stuff like “Soldier Boy” or “Shoot Me from Behind.”

Whether you’re a fan of Cohen’s scathing “reality” comedies or not, his plucked and shaved Bruno doesn’t look so different from the other plucked and shaved boys we feature regularly on this site. Personally, we preferred Borat’s unshaved hairiness, but his hygiene (pooping in shopping bags) and choice of women (obese prostitutes and Pamela Anderson), not so much.
Via Towleroad.

16 Jun 09 By paperbagwriter 1 Comment

QCA Comedy Quickie: Bruno Butthugs Eminem


Just because Eminem’s a semi-homophobic near has-been doesn’t mean we wouldn’t fuck him. In fact, he’s got men literally falling in his lap, as you can see from this video of last night’s MTV Movie Awards. Eminem’s been touched by an angel! Though it doesn’t seem quiet the religious experience for him, but maybe he’s atheist. Of course, Bruno is comedian Sacha Baron Cohen and the stunt’s a promo for his upcoming film (whose hilarious trailer you must see NOW!). Eminem and his posse left with him cussing a blue streak. Oh well, luckily for him that Bruno recently bleached his asshole. Otherwise it might have been a less heavenly experience.
Via Sticky.

01 Jun 09 By paperbagwriter 15 Comments

QCA Comedy Quickie: Total Eclipse of the Heart


We already thought that Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart was a thoroughly homoerotic bit of video freakiness—but as this hilarious Literal Video redubbing points out, it’s over the top even for the gayest man. Imagine Elizabeth Taylor’s White Diamonds ad crossed with Ck Obsession in the grip of a ketamine bender and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what it’s like. No wonder the vid’s gone viral over just two days!
Via Sticky.

31 May 09 By paperbagwriter Write a comment!

The QC Weekender – Lust And Marriage

The QC Weekender - Lust And Marriage
What’re you doing this weekend? How about shaving your pubes, fucking a duck, grinding to rap music, and defending traditional marriage? Now you’re weekend’s packed and you have the QC Weekender to thank. We gather that latest viral videos from the web and infect you every weekend with pure enjoyment—you’re welcome!

Sex With Ducks – Conservative Pat Roberston once said that same-sex marriage will result in people having sex with ducks. We don’t want to fuck any mallards, but we know two women who sure do. Their music video is both cute, safe for work, and has all sorts of hilarious pop-culture references to ducks in it. Take that, Scrooge McDuck!

The Defenders – Though a bit heavy-handed, this short film by writer/director Keith Hartman makes a great point about “traditional marriage.” If you start trying to protect marriage from the gays, who you gonna protect it from next, eh? Our girl Chastity has her sights set on some other “non-traditional” marriages that she’d like to see dissolved. All in favor?

The License – Who says you can’t buy love? All you need is a marriage license and seven goats. Don’t understand? It’s “tradition.” The bible’s full of great old-timey traditions that’ll help you to experience love in God’s way, whether you like it or not. This short film (also by filmmaker Keith Hartman) once again tears down the ridiculous idea that “traditional marriage” is worth defending, and has a deadly chipper social worker to make sure the message goes down with a smile.

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31 May 09 By paperbagwriter 1 Comment

Top 10 QComments

Top 10 QComments
Every week, the editors of QueerClick pour through readers QComments to find the ones that make us raise an eyebrow, think, or spit out our coffee and howl with laughter. Last week, we had a bunch of great QComments over our controversial posts, but this week, our QCommentors turned their crosshairs onto our beloved porn stars and the fur flies! Yow! Read on and see what we mean…
Eye for beauty
Typically, gay men have an eye for beauty and the beautiful pairing of Matt and Jason from Sean Cody certainly captured the eyes of our readers. One even compared them to an erotic David and Goliath (the biblical warriors, not the Christian cartoon characters). But Jarod noticed something a little extra on Jason’s back:

I see that the bottom has had something tattooed on his back for the top to read while he’s plowing him. Little thoughtful things like that are so nice.

Something else in the video also caught the eye of regular QCommentor, Mo:

Jason’s face looking away from Matt’s popshot was kind of humorous. It’s not the ark of the covenant, Jason. It wont melt your face if you look at it.

Tee-hee! Talk about a religious experience! But sometimes it’s not the beauty of the models that catch our readers’ eyes. Sometimes it’s the furnishings (how gay)! Shane, for example, noticed an extra large furnishing on the set of Travis Knight’s scene with Mike Hancock:

i thought look at the size of his butplugg, then realized it was a lamp!

Any self-respecting gay man makes sure that his surroundings match his personality. So while Sean Cody’s hunky model Adrian doesn’t quite fit in with his garish bedroom, Seth thinks it’s gonna be OK:

The only complaint I have is the set decoration. Did the 80’s throw up in that room? Only a model of Adrian’s hunkyness can overcome it.

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25 May 09 By paperbagwriter 1 Comment

The QC Weekender – Dancing With Myself

weekender_dancingmyself.jpg
Every Weekender brings you the best in this week’s viral videos. So grab a soda, sit back, and hit the play button because this week’s collection features men dancing in celebration of gay love, baseball season, of just for the hell of it.

Pride 2009 – Pride’s coming and someone’s released an opening video that assembles a great collection of gay images throughout history. Sadly, gay pride continues to be associated with shitty techno and this song’s no exception. It’s the gay man’s we We Didn’t Start The Fire but the history lesson’s worth a watch.

Jimmy and Matthew Staring Contest – When it comes to a Starbucks’ coffee battle, comedian Jimmy Kimmel and Lost hunk Matthew Fox must decide who is the more gorgeous… even if it means drinking from the same cup, staring each other down in the toilet, singing Peter Gabriel’s “Your Eyes”, or showering together. So who’ll win?

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17 May 09 By paperbagwriter 2 Comments

The Russian Army Has Got You Pegged

The Russian Army Has Got You Pegged
A Team Orange member recently discovered this gem at EnglishRussia.com. Popular on Russian blogs, it’s supposedly an entry-level test administered by the Russian army. Here’s what the translation says:

Six questions that help to identify any hidden psychological diseases young soldier might. If the soldier can’t see the number in one of the 6 circles on the test picture, then he likely might having…:

See your diagnosis, after the jump!

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15 May 09 By paperbagwriter 60 Comments

The QC Weekender – Sexual Creatures

The QC Weekender - Sexual Creatures
The QC Weekender is back, bitches! And now it’s better than ever! Every weekend, we’ll be bringing you four hilarious, raunchy, smart, and sexy videos for you to enjoy. Got it? Good. This weekend’s collection all contain sexual creatures hungry for action. Can you withstand the sexual heat from these beasts or will you melt?

My Little Pony – Did you used to play with My Little Pony when you were small? If you were like us, maybe you even wished you had a real My Little Pony… Well, you shoulda watched what you wished for, suckas, because these little ponies have grown up and come back to take you for a ride instead!

Hustlaball 2009 – This awesome cut of the action from London’s 2009 Hustlaball 2009 stars Steve Cruz, Bruno Bond, Logan McCree, Johnny Hazzard, Damien Crosse, and Franchesco D’Macho just to name a few. The action’s hot and the music’s thumping!

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09 May 09 By paperbagwriter 1 Comment

QCA Comedy Quickie: Jackie Beat Explains It All!


The Corn Refiners Association, an un-biased impartial group, wants you ladies to know that there’s nothing wrong with high fructose corn syrup… unless you count its insanely high sugar content, onset of obesity in rats and diabetes in fat-assed kids. Otherwise, it’s great—drink all you want!
Well, the CRA’s commercial inspired drag comedienne Jackie Beat who’s here to show you over-cautious mommies that there’s nothing wrong with a few other things, like drinking lead. Like a good birthday party hostess, Jackie serves up some quality facts with a fistful of sugar and a clown-makeup sneer—drink up, kids… or else!

07 May 09 By paperbagwriter 2 Comments

Queer But Not Gay: Disneyland Will No Longer Scan Ride Photos For Lewd Riders

QBNG: Disneyland Will No Longer Scan Ride Photos For Lewd Riders
OK, so this applies more towards women and men with boobs than it does your average guy or porn star, but we had to post this just for the sheer queerness of it. Apparently the Magic Kingdom used to have a problem with park-going women flashing their lady bumps at the photographic point of several rides. Disneyland and other theme parks sometimes photograph riders right before the big drop in a roller coaster and some women saw it as a good opportunity to get a commemorative photo of their teats. While the idea of ruining a theme park photograph is kinda hilarious, we wonder what sorts of women bust out their boobs in front of a bunch of kids. “Look this is when we rode Splash Mountain and I was a C-cup, remember? So magical!”
Time Magazine has more:

Disney says it will no longer scan riders on Splash Mountain and three other rides for guests who flash their breasts in souvenir photos.

Disney confirmed Tuesday that it has reassigned employees at Disneyland and Disney’s California Adventure who watched for breast-baring riders because “actual inappropriate behaviors by guests are rare.”

Disneyland spokeswoman Suzi Brown says the changes took effect Sunday at Splash Mountain, Tower of Terror, Space Mountain and California Screamin’.

Riders are photographed on the attractions and can then buy souvenir copies. Some have exposed their breasts in hopes that the picture would make it onto a photo preview screen at the ride’s exit.

The company began the screening about 10 years ago.

Apparently they’re stopping the oversight because folks don’t flash their boobs on rides as often as they did in the 90’s. Bu there’s no better way to bring out the flashers than publicize a lack of oversight. We bet the pasty faced teenage by who used to “man” the digicam will be upset that he’s been made obsolete. Sorry kid, it’s a recession.

06 May 09 By paperbagwriter Write a comment!

Israeli Defense Forces Present What What (In The Butt)


Some men in the Israeli Defense Forces apparently decided to grab a camera and do a pretty decent video homage to Samwell’s What What (In The Butt). The guys are handsome and the song… well, it’s pretty much a viral classic by now. If you’ve never seen the hilariously weird original, we have a video of it along with a video of some bare-assed Swedish men dancing to it after the jump!

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28 Apr 09 By paperbagwriter 5 Comments

“Berry” Washes Reese Rideout’s BMW


Reese Rideout’s friend, Berry, has decided to come over to his place one sunny Oregon day and wash the wacky porn star’s BMW. You may notice that Berry looks a little familiar—he and Rideout could even be sisters! But like Reese, Berry knows how to please: a water hose, suds, ass-tight shorts, roller skates and rock-and-roll should do the trick—oh, it’s a drity job, but someone’s gotta do it!
See Reese’s other antics at the Reese Rideout QC Fan Club Page

27 Apr 09 By paperbagwriter 2 Comments

QCA Comedy Quickie: The Smallest Cock in Porn


A small dick on a guy can be nice, especially on the ass if you like getting fucked without having to feel like a “power bottom.” But how small is too small? Before you answer, you should watch The Smallest Cock in Porn: The Don Dolmes Story. It’s a parody of John Holmes and pretty darned funny.

06 Apr 09 By paperbagwriter 4 Comments

Margaret Cho (And We) Love Ricky Sinz’s Penis


We recently mentioned GayVN Awards co-host, Margaret Cho’s song about Ricky Sinz 9.2 x 5 penis that she wrote and performed for the awards show. Here it is in its uncut glory (the song, not his penis). During her co-hosting she revealed that she and Sinz recently did a shoot together for Unzipped Magazine and that she continues to be one of the filthiest comediennes working today (bless her). If you’re also a fan of Ricky Sinz’s penis, check out the Ricky Sinz QC Fan Page.
Thanks to The Sword for the video.

02 Apr 09 By paperbagwriter 4 Comments