If you’re like every member on Team Orange, you’ve dreamed of touching David Beckham’s package; especially after seeing his bulge in those Armani underwear adverts. It seems we’re not alone in that wish.
Elena Di Cioccio, a blonde female reporter for Italy’s best known satirical television show, The Hyenas, recently sexually assaulted the stud on camera to see if his real-life bulge matches up with the package in the adverts. The Telegraph has more:
The stunt was a “test” to see whether the football star measured up to his photo in Armani billboards, in which he shows off his impressive physique in a pair of tight-fitting underpants.
He has since been replaced in the Armani campaign by Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo.
Beckham looked shocked and immediately backed away after being touched by the blonde-haired TV reporter, a star of the satirical show Le Iene.
As security guards closed ranks around the 34-year-old midfielder, Miss Di Cioccio was chased down the street yelling “E piccolo, Beckham” (“Beckham is small”), while being filmed by the show’s cameraman.
Beckham climbed into a black car but she ran around to the driver’s seat in which he was sitting, shouting: “You’ve taken us for a ride! How could you? David!”
The Hyenas is broadcast on Italia1, a channel owned by Mediaset, Silvio Berlusconi’s media empire. The Italian prime minister also owns AC Milan.
Though the video’s obviously going for humor, it’s actually a creepy to watch because sexy Becks seems genuinely freaked out—and who wouldn’t be? We’ve always wanted to touch Becks all right, but not as a premeditated publicity stunt. We’d rather get him drunk first and then start massaging his shoulders and kissing his neck. Y’know, like Victoria Beckham does.
And why bother with the yellow gloves? We’re sure that Becks keeps his wiener nice and clean in case Lady Beckham should ever crave it. We’d wanna squeeze his knob with our own hand, and not deny ourselves the hands-on pleasure with rubber gloves. Someone needs to teach this crazy paparazzi lady how to handle a real man with style, grace, and a little lube.
Via Sticky.
If you haven’t already joined QueerClique, we’re hoping this video sends you over the edge. It’s of a handsome guy on a tour bus with his friends. The tour’s apparently boring because he decides to whip his dong out and spank it—and what a nice dong it is, thick and uncut.
In a short time, he works it to a cum-splattering climax with hot goo streaming down the seat in front of him. It’s pretty wild and his friends can’t help but hoot and holler with laughter. After he cums, the beautiful studs smiles and gives a thumbs up to the camera—a handjob well done!
And what’s even better is that QueerClique has tons of hot videos like this all the time. So what are you waiting for? Take your free hand and click on over to QueerClique to see this and tons more awesome and sexy vids!
In the past, we’ve advocatedlying on your online profile to meet men. How wrong we were. Honesty is the best policy. No, it won’t get you laid, but darn it feels good. So today, we wanna take the masks off and show you what’s really behind the online profiles. Behind all those words and promises of alluring sex are REAL MEN with REAL EMOTIONS and CAPS LOCK. Don’t turn away! Embrace them! Maybe you’ve seen them before. Maybe you’ve even been them before… there’s no shame.
Oh wait, yes there is.
Thanks to Manhunt Daily for the vid.
This Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t really matter whether you’re with Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. And whether you love or hate the Hallmark holiday, we can all agree that it’s best spent humping like rabbits. So surprise your hare-brained lover by slipping into (and out of) a pair of aussieBum’s Valentine’s Day undies. The fun boxer and brief designs will let your lover know just what’s on your mind. And unlike a box of chocolates, they’re easy to unwrap and come in only deliciously fun flavors. Your lover likes hard candy, right? Well try these aussieBum on for size and watch your sweet boy melt.
We know some of you don’t like female breasts, but we had to share this with you. You know how some people say, “Leave well enough alone?” Here’s a guy who should have taken that advice. He’s already kinda cute in a jock douchebag kinda way, but those new boobs just aren’t him.
Don’t turn away. Look into his MOOBS! And stay until at least the 0:54 mark, because that’s when the dancing begins and the real horror starts. Let this be a lesson to us all: boob jobs work best on women.
Between the brainless ogres asking you “Sup?” and the attractive men who never return your e-mails, online dating can be a demoralizing experience. How’s a guy supposed to get the man of his creams online? This video has some practical advice; namely, lie and use Photoshop. Now instead of spending countless hours at the gym or actually developing a personality, you can just sit in front of your cum-encrusted keyboard and watch your inbox become stuffed with e-mails. And if the man of your creams feel disappointed with the real you, you can always offer yourself up for revenge-sex. It’s not love, but it comes angrily in your eyes close.
QC Porn favorite,Steve Cruz, made an appearance on Late Night With Conan O’Brien tonight…or at least his picture did. Conan used it to hawk a fake pre-airport security service called “Security Fluffer” that will help you undergo a full-body scan with security, pride, and a huge bulge.
But according to Cruz, Conan’s got the wrong idea about the fringe benefits of gay porn. Conan may have also outed the star to his mother’s friends:
LOL! Excuse me? Despite what most people assume about my ‘cushy’ job the one thing we don’t get is a fluffer. Wouldn’t it be nice?!
Makes for an interesting skit on Conan. I don’t know about you but the Tonight Show makes the idea of an airport blow job at the security check point seem pretty hot.
Air travel post Underwear Bomber— we now get padded down. Or at least Bruno and I did on the way home from LAX last week… I swear I felt a grope. I wasn’t sure of he was looking for explosives or taking my inseam.
Anyway… my mother is going to be wrecked when I tell her I made the Tonight Show. She’s been telling all her friends I’m an ‘underwear’ model. —Whoops!
It’s no wonder an airport cop tried to cop a feel. Cruz is lucky the cop didn’t mistake his cock for a deadly weapon—we’ve seen Cruz assault more than a few men with it. Of course, if they’d taken Cruz in for an anal cavity search, they’d have had to give him a reach-around just to stop his moaning.
Rid your mind of the idea that unicorns are peaceful, gentle creatures who drink moonbeams and cry peach soda. Some of them are mega-ripped, bikini brief wearing, stallions of anger just waiting to cut a bitch with samurai swords! This uncorn doesn’t want your wishes, fairy kisses, or sweet dreams. He’s gonna drink your milkshake and then stab your ass, plain and simple. So better watch your step next time you decide to set foot in the enchanted forest, sucka!
Straight College Men has had two noteworthy videos this week. First, the father-son jerk-off and now, a new video starring Dan Jovicevic from VH1’s Tool Academy 2.
But how did this upstanding young gentleman end up on Tool Academy 2 in the first place? Let VH1 fill you in:
Dan, 22, is a pathological liar, Shannon, also 22, is his girlfriend of 2-½ years. These students live in Huntley, IL. Dan and Shannon live together on a part-time basis. Dan thinks he is a “god” and talks a big game about sleeping with tons of women, but he also loves to lie and is a self-admitted “a$$hole.” Shannon can never tell when Dan is speaking the truth or out and out lying. Fortunately for Shannon, the Tool Academy is here to sort out her mess of a relationship.
So Dan may not be husband material, but who wants a husband? We’d be happy just hooking up with the handsome turd. He’s actually the second Tool Academy flunkie to end up on SCM. The first was Stew (aka “Hillbilly Tool”). And you also might recall seeing the penis of Shawn Southern from Tool Academy 1. Add to that Rico from I Love New York who later showed up on SG4GE and it seems as if VH1’s reality show has an exit door right into the world of amateur porn.
According to SCM, “When the production company responsible for the reality TV show got wind of Stew and the others appearing on Bait & Tackle’s websites, they sent a cease and desist letter to us stating the guys were prohibited ‘from in any way participating.’ Our lawyers had to address the situation.” Looks like VH1 is very protective of its sluts. In fact, the video above from the Onion News Network shows VH1’s response when a reality show bus recently crashed on a major highway, spilling more than 2,000 pounds of slut.
See Dan’s elimination video from Tool Academyafter the jump!
Thanks to Daily Dudetube for some of the pics.
We interrupt our regular schedule to bring you something to break the monotony of hot boys on QC – A Walrus Autofellatio!!
I didn’t know they have such long schloooongs! Are their counterparts’ punanis deep enough to accommodate that? Video after the jump!
All of our readers howled whenBel Ami’s real-life Peters Twins fucked on camera. Some raved about its hotness, others about its sickness. Well, no matter how you felt about the twincest taboo, StraightCollegeMen.com is ready to find out how you feel about the father-and-son taboo.
Their latest scene features Rhett Jr. and his “real life dad”, Rhett Sr., jerking-off side-by-side. They don’t jerk, suck, or fuck one another, but they certainly watch each other which leaves us feeling oddly turned on yet unsettled—it’s like Jake Cruise-lite.
Even though they call Rhett Sr. the younger’s “real life dad”, we’re not so sure that means he’s Rhett Jr.’s biological father. For one, we have no idea how that goofy-doofus of a dad squirted out such a hot, hung stud (mom must be a looker). And two, Rhett Jr. could be adpoted. An anedcote during their interview says Rhett Jr. was breast fed by a black nun—that certainly suggests a dubious beginning.
We’re actually into father-son role play and we have a feeling that if Rhett Sr. were a bit hotter, a lot more readers would respond favorably to the scene, but we’re curious what you think.
Check out the preview after the jump!
You may wonder “who the hell ever came up with the nonsense of taking a knife to a baby’s cock?” You’ll discover all that and more in this short religious farce. Sister Regina Adolph gets the chance of a lifetime when a nice man on the street offers to sell her “The Holy Foreskin of Jesus.” But will she be left holding her (or His) dick?
Just a warning: you already know how much we like praising Our Lord and Saviour, so if you’re offended by this sort of thing, we suggest you go here instead.
This last summer we featured The Portrait of Dorian’s Wang, but it looks as if UK director Oliver Parker has taken up Oscar Wilde’s famous (and only) novel, The Picture of Dorian Grey.
For those of you who haven’t read the novel, it’s about a young man named Dorian Gray who’s lead into a life of debauchery by the decadent gadabout Basil Hallward. In this film, Dorian and Basil are played by Ben Barnes and Ben Chapman, and they get much closer than they do in the book. Personally, this Dorian’s a bit fey for our tastes, but we like long hair and we’re always down for a bro-job, so we’ll let him “really express his gratitude”, the foppish slut.
Roman and Benjamin are a porn star couple who have put on their Santa hats to deliver you a special gift—a pair of swords eager for a fight. Well, swash our buckles and shiver our timbers! Don’t fight, boys… it’s Christmas! Or, if you’re gonna fight, fight with your tongues and wrestle each other down to the floor like the holiday intended. After that the real question will be which Santa will give and which one will receive!
Maybe you’ve heard that Santa has a little round belly and that when he laughs it shakes like a bowlful of jelly, but that’s crap. Santa’s hot and from what we can see, he has quite a bulge as well. Daddyhunt wants to leave a hot guy under your tree this season, but this hot video of Santa and his cookie-making lover is almost enough to tide us over until New Years.
Christmas can be a lonely time of year, especially if you don’t have someone special to roast your chestnuts on an open fire. But Match.com wants to remind you that the right guy is just waiting for you. Like this gentleman above. He’s handsome, expressive, and honest. And even though he mentions titties, we’re not so sure that he’s straight. For one thing, that lisp. For another, who wants to put their dick in “all up in your guts” and “spray your tubes”? In fact, he seems less like any gay guy we’ve ever met and more like a horned up cock hound ready to fuck whatever comes along next, whether it’s you or a stray animal—cocaine is a powerful drug.
