Admittedly we haven’t been keeping up with the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Repeal proceedings in the U.S. because politics are a real boner killer. But when Bryan Safi from Current TV’s InfoMania is covering it, we’re all over that like crabs in a foxhole! Bryan’s covered some other hot-button gay pop issues, like the Gayngels phenomenon and “No Homo” disclaimer in hip-hop. And in this segment, he reveals the real reason folks don’t want to let homos in the army… they’re afraid of the gay penis.
And who can blame them? After seeing what gay soldiers do in Active Duty and Military Classified, letting ‘mos into the army will ensure that it’ll turn into a non-stop, international suck and circle jerk… NOT. Safi perhaps puts it best when he asks, “Why go to a gay bar on log onto Manhunt.com when you can fly to Afghanistan and risk your life just to sneak a peek at a straight dude’s dong?”
For all you boys who’ve ever aspired to be a professional stripper, S&M dungeon master, or drag performer, sexy friends Rob Easton and Sean Horlor are gonna show you how it’s done. Their show, s Don’t Quit Your Gay Job, features the boys learning various “gay jobs” and competing to see which one of them does it better.
In the above clip for the drag performer episode, Easton and Horlor hide their junk by tucking it between their buttcheeks! Horlor definitely does the better job. For one, Easton’s wearing what appears to be an older ladies’ extra-absorbent diaper and for two, his dick’s apparently too big to hide. Tucking it only ends up giving him a horrible case of moose-knuckle.
But the fun doesn’t stop there! They also try their hand at becoming bus drivers and yet again, Horlor shows Easton up by making a more convincing woman.
Luckily, most of the gay jobs require them to strip down to their underwear, so Don’t Quit Your Gay Job should make good viewing, if only to see its hosts nearly nude. They even have a season finale that stars Reese Rideout. Does that mean that they’re gonna try their hand as porn stars?! Hot damn! Let’s hope so. You may be interested to know that the co-hosts used to date. Maybe the onscreen competition will re-ignite their old spark! Watch and see!
Ever since his arrest for domestic violence, we’ve been keeping an eye on porn star, Mark Dalton. We were there when he got even more prison time, when he finally got approved for parole, and await his comeback in the current events porn spoof, Getting Levi’s Johnson. But it looks like the ex-con stud has also been spending some time in the gym as his physique attests. According to David Forest, Mark Dalton’s agent and “personal meetings” pimp, Mark Dalton been hoitting the gym to enter The Ronnie Coleman Classic on April 10, 2010. If he needs someone to spot him, oil him down, or help with costume changes, we volunteer ourselves! Just so long as he promises to head scissors us until we cum or pass out.
We enjoy sharing the wonders of the animal kingdom with you. Like that one video of a walrus sucking its own dick…magical. Well, here’s a heart-warming video of a chimp face-raping a frog. It may seem brutal, but haven’t we all done the same to men of our own species?
And besides, viewed positively, the chimp and frog are merely expressing a little interspecies love, a little “jungle fever”, if you will. But no matter what you call it, Kermit had better watch his tight green ass, because if Mr. Bananas has his way, Kermie’s face will become the rape-ape’s Fleshjack.
We also found another video of a frog/chimp blowjob, one that’s a bit more brutal. And it lead us to wonder where the hell are these chimps finding these poor frogs? Is there a hallway between the monkey house and the reptile exhibit? Is the zookeeper playing matchmaker? Why is the chimp’s penis shaped like a scrawny carrot? And why do chimps seem to rape every new frog they find? Hmmm… so many questions. Where’s Jane Goodall when you need her?
And if all this has disturbed you, here’s a friendly video of a chimp giving a toad a piggyback ride—see? Sometimes the toad gets to be the top.
Unlike his underagecocktease co-star Taylor Lautner, Twilight star Kellan Lutz is 23 and therefore, exempt for child porn legalities. We’ve kept our eyes on his bulge and nutsack before, but now he’s appeared in a Calvin Klein underwear ad showing a lot more of his beautiful bod. Calvin Klein also released this sexy behind-the-scenes vid in which he shares his diet and workout secrets! Bikini season is just around the corner, boys!
For more sexy male stars, check out Cinemale and Male Celebrities.
Halloween may be over, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still dress up to get laid. You’re all dolled up, but what about the little you? Just turn to DapperDicks.com and get your cock a costume. Dress up your dick like a doctor, a cowboy (rodeo rider), a soldier, a fireman or into proper butt pirate with a matching hat and vest… maybe have him swab a poop deck or two. The internal lycra expands for any girth and even lesbians can put them on their strap-ons. At $35 a pop, you can’t afford NOT to buy them!
Thanks to The Sword for the video.
Our father used to tell us, “There’s no such thing as a ‘FREE Lunch,'” and we didn’t really know what he meant because at the time we were on our school’s free lunch program. But now that we’re adults and we have to pay for our own corn pizza nachos and sloppy joe casserole, we understand what he meant. And the same principle applies to porn.
Do you think porn just falls out of the sky or grows on trees? Well, you’ve got another thing coming, mister. And Dirty Boy Video is gonna tell you like it is. Because everytime you and your masturbating friends download a “free” video from one of those “free porn” sites, you not only cheat yourself out of the opportunity to feel good about some post-coital capitalism, you also cheat a young porn star out of his wage, you cheat burgeoning studios out of their ability to pay for double-penetrations, and what’s worse, you cheat America out of its safety.
Don’t understand? Watch the Dirty Boy Video’s PSA and you will. Never again will you be able to sleep soundly in your cum-encrusted bed knowing there are gay porn (butt)pirates sailing the digital seas!
You may have heard about the dumb Super Bowl ad that CBS rejected because it was too gay… or something. Well, that ad was for a gay hookup site, but apparently it wasn’t the only M4M site CBS rejected. National Lampoon brought this homoerotic nugget to light. It’s a commercial for BroHarmony.com, a site dedicated to bringing guys together so they can y’know… paint each others bodies, dress up as Roman guards (like Jason Adonis), go shopping together, and… um, beat up queers. Most guys on hook-up sites say they’re OK with just being friends anyway, but the guys on Bro Harmony actually mean it… at least, we think they do… right?
We already knew that Jeremy Bilding’s fine ass was versatile, but we had no idea how versatile his dick was as well! In this funny video short that’s sure to make you smile, Jeremy Bilding shows you the full range of dramatic contributions a cock can add to any film, porn or otherwise. His bulge really runs the gamut and makes us think of all the other actors whose penises we’d love to see up close on the big screen. Someone give this cock an Oscar for such an upstanding performance!
Just like us, aussieBum has always got something new brewing in its labs. So if you enjoy seeing guys in aussieBums, wait ’til you see the baskets in their 2010 preview video… and we do mean baskets! There are bulges, butts, and biceps popping out all over the place and it’s only a taste of all the hot things ahead. So don’t spend 2010 wondering what’s coming around the bend. Take a look for yourself and decide just what kind of year it’s gonna be!
We know that some of you hate Lady GaGa (just like Diesel Washington). But even if you hate her, we can all agree on music videos that include leather S&M, saucy vampire men, and involuntary dentistry. We’re not sure if this video is from Lady herself or just two overzealous fans, but it hasn’t stopped us from popping a boner, either way.
We’ll save you some time and answer the question with a solid NO, NOT AT ALL. This hilarious comedy short considers just how women would act if they were as depraved and horny as most men. And even though it features (eww) women and dripping wet pussies, it’s worth enduring if only to make it strip bar scene at 2:35 full of men dancing in their tighty-whiteys. Plus there’s a priceless money shot at 3:58. Genius!
Oh blessed internet, is there anything you can’t do? Why, just yesterday, you provided us with the hanging penis of Portland Trail Blazer Greg Oden. And today, you bring us his requisite apology video. According to him, he got woken up by a 6am call about his cock pics. We certainly wouldn’t mind being woken up at 6am because of his cock. We’d just roll over and let Greg punch his one-way ticket to Pound Town.
Also he keeps saying he’s pretty embarrassed and sorry for embarrassing his family and his organization, but if we were his family we’d be high-fiving each other because our genetic pool gave him basketball skillz and a huge dick. Also, as we said yesterday, his organization knows that those pictures have raised a whole new crop of Oden fans rearing to see him in action… off the court, that is. So even though we feel bad for Greg, it’s not the end of the world. He might even benefit from a little sexy press.
Although, he can kiss any Wheaties promo goodbye. Most people don’t like thinking about sucking big fat dick while eating breakfast; although we do. Cock’s the breakfast of champions.
Life’s not easy on a reality show. In fact, it can be very hard, especially in the morning. Just ask the studs of Big Brother Australia. In the clip above, the five handsome guys discuss some of their strategies for handling morning wood on camera. Some of them sit down rather than (ahem) continue standing. Others slap it against their leg until it behaves. And more than one of them does the infamous “mangina”—the tucking of junk between their legs to take on the appearance of a lady. It may be crude, but it works.
Personally, we tend to do the “12 o’clock maneuver” where we tuck our erect penis under our waistband, but that doesn’t always work, especially when you’ve got a raging hard on. We’d actually prefer that all guys just let their boners hang with pride, especially these guys. From what we can see, they have nothing to hide… on camera or off!
It’s been raining weathermen lately here at QC. First, we had hunky BBC weatherman Tomasz Schafernaker posing half-naked on the cover of a gay mag. And now we have Pete Bouchard. No, he’s not nearly as sexy as Schafernaked, but he’s got something else going for him. Namely, he’s predicting a heavy 9 inches tonight and it may be more than you can handle. You better get your blankets ready because it’s gonna be a long night!
Also, we’d like to mention that this video has been removed from almost every other site that originally featured it. Which means that QC’s the only place you can get Bouchard’s 9 inches. Lucky you.
