I hope you don’t think this is a lame problem but I’m really worried that I don’t fit in with the gay scene and because of that I can’t find a boyfriend. I keep comparing myself with all these other guys that are on the scene and they’re all better looking, slimmer, fitter and cuter.
Its really getting me down because I’m not like them and when I go to gay bars and clubs no one ever seems interested in me. The few times anyone has ever chatted to me they were much older (I’m 18) and obviously only after sex. And when I made it clear I’m not just going to have sex with a random I just met then they moved on to someone else.
I found the whole process demoralizing as it took me so much courage to build up just to go into those places then just ended up going home alone. I think I’ve realized that I’m not the sporty, clubbing or bar hopping type, I’m more the studious type and a bit shy and introspective. I just don’t identify with a group of shrieking guys and I don’t even like the music they’re playing in those places. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with the effeminate type of guy, but that’s not the sort I am attracted to, what are the chances of me finding other gay guys my age who are just normal and not into the scene?
Thx
Blane
Well its always difficult taking that first step out into the big gay world. How was it for you, dear QC readers and what advice would you give Blane? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
My partner recently started a new job managing a restaurant which now means his working hours are from 4pm to midnight and I work regular office hours. So this now means we don’t get to see each other as regularly as we used to and definitely our sex life is suffering because of it. I know that I’m more highly sexed than he is, even though we are roughly the same ages, (27 and 29) and he’s always been OK with us both being into porn (we even have a really good selection of smutty DVD’s).
So the other day he comes back home early from work and walks in on me webcamming with this other guy online and he went ballistic, totally off it like he had just caught me in bed with another guy or something like that! And I’m like huh? Its just video, its just webcamming, the guy isn’t even in the same state as me! And he accuses me of being unfaithful and how webcamming is “different” from just jerking off to a video, but I just don’t see it like that.
Well definitely we both have a major disagreement with this, he’s still all huffy about it and has busted up my webcam now. I’m just a bit confused and angry about it really, cos I’ve never seen webcamming as anything more than a bit of fun and certainly never considered this as being unfaithful. And its not like I’m addicted to webcamming or anything like that, just a bit of fun to kill the boredom whilst he is out at work, not like I’m actually meeting and hooking up with guys. What do you guys think?
Travis.
What do you think, dear QC readers? Is webcamming being unfaithful if you’re in a relationship? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Up till now, I’ve been a top all my life (28 now) but recently I have had these urges to become a bottom and get fucked.
The problem is my current bf is a total bottom, and although we’ve tried it with toys and dildos that really isn’t what I want. I just have this uncontrollable urge to have a real man’s cock inside me.
So I think, OK I’m just wanting a bit of versatility which initially surprised me, but now I realize that I’ve also lost my interest in fucking another guy. As you can imagine this is causing all sorts of problems with my current bf.
I guess I’m turning from a top into a bottom, just a bit concerned this will last or be permanent, I’ve tried to get my partner to be a top but he’s not interested in that at all and I cant see two bottoms staying together (at least sexually).
We don’t really want to split up over this, but we are missing out on our sex lives. Anyone else been in this situation, did you get another person in for a threesome or eventually break up or what? Any ideas or experiences on this to help us would be really appreciated?
Thanks!
RJC.
Anyone been in this situation before? What advice would you give RJC, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Here’s a weird problem for you (and a nightmare for me!).
I’ve been gay for as long as I can remember, thinking of guys before my teens and coming out with a bang at 13. Being gay is such a big part my of life that the feelings I’ve recently developed are actually quite shocking to me. I’ve never been remotely interested in girls sexually, yes I’ve always had girls as friends but never have I wanted anything to do with a vajayjay and certainly not put my dick or mouth near that or a tittie!
So I’m sure you will understand my trauma in that I actually think I’m turning straight – sexually that is. I’ve always worshipped cock, love my porn and sure I’ve always enjoyed some straight porn (but of course only to look at the guy). I’m not turned off by women, and I know a good figure on a girl when I see one and get along with them fine. But what’s distressing me is that for the last few weeks I’ve actually been having sexual dreams, hetero ones at that! And at work I’ve been fantasizing about having sex with the women I work with there too, not that I’ve mentioned this to them, at least not yet, goodness knows what their reaction would be.
I wondered if any one else has experienced this at my age, I’m now 34, is this a “phase”, will it just last for a few weeks or months? I’ve really never considered myself Bi and find this weird that I’m getting all these very powerful sexual fantasies now. And just to make things even more complicated, I’m in a long term gay relationship, sharing my home with my partner of 8 years, our sex life is healthy so I don’t know what on earth to tell him or do about this, its driving me nuts!
Any ideas boys?
Paul.
Anyone had this situation before? What advice would you give Paul, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
I’m happily partnered, have been for the last 6 years and I would say we have a very healthy and regular sex life.
The reason I’m writing in is because I recently started having these fantasies about being groped in a mass orgy of men. And I’m not just talking about occasional dreams either. These fantasies appear when I’m at work, on the train, in the street, shopping, etc and pretty much everywhere and all the time too!
I just wondered if this is OK, too weird, just a phase or does these mean that I am lacking something sexually? Does this actually mean that in order to be fulfilled I need to act on these fantasies and start going out for group sex? With being in a monogamous relationship I’m not sure how to approach my partner about this without him being upset about it, any ideas?
SF.
Do any of you have compelling fantasies like this? Did it just last for a while and what advice would you give SF, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
I’m dating this boy who is absolutely gorgeous in every way except he just cant kiss!
To say he makes no effort in kissing would be an understatement, he just sort of sticks his tongue out and then doesn’t even move it! Any tips or ideas on how I get him to improve? It would be so great if we could kiss for hours and hours. Sexually he’s really great in bed but kissing with him is like trying to resuscitate a dead fish!
Help!
RB.
What advice would you give RB, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
I regularly travel on the subway to and from work, which during the weekdays rush hours, means I end up having to stand due to the cars being so full. On the way to work last week I became aware of this younger guy (20/22) being very squashed against me and although I wasn’t sure at first, I soon realized that he was rubbing his crotch against my leg. It was sort of happening accidentally as the car rocked back and forth and there wasn’t anywhere else for me to move at all, but I was definitely aroused by it. I found myself getting so turned on by this I was fully erect and so hard to such a point that it was actually painful!
Unfortunately he got off two stops before my work place so I didn’t get the chance to really make eye contact with him, I think if I had I would have reciprocated or at least attempted to hook up. What I wondered is whether rubbing through clothes sexually like this, is this a common practice or even an accepted way to pick up people? I know I didn’t give him my consent (initially) but once I realized what was happening I was really sexually aroused, so was he in the wrong or me too?
Tony.
Has this happened to you before and what did you do? What advice would you give Tony, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
I’m 19 yo and ready for my first fuck, the thing is, there seems to be loads of advice out there about being bottomed for the first time (use plenty of lube, be clean, take it slow, etc) but in my case I’m a top and there doesn’t seem to be much around giving any tips or advice on that. Really apart from jerking off and blow jobs I don’t have a lot of experience and have never actually had the chance to fuck someone before (although I’m hoping to change that very soon!).
Sure I’ve watched lots of porn (who hasn’t hehe) but I just wondered if any of you guys out there have any special tips for someone who’s gonna do his first butt fuck. Obviously I will be wearing a condom and have lube with me, but apart from that I’m not completely sure about different positions, how fast I should go, do I start off slow and get faster or is it different for everyone situation? Also I just wondered how is the best way to really stimulate a bottom whilst fucking? Thanks for any advice guys!
Cheers,
Andy.
I guess we all remember our first time don’t we? What advice would you give Andy, dear QC readers? Did it all go according to plan or did anything go horribly wrong? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
I’m 24 years old and have been with my current partner for 2 years. Our sex life has been great, so far, but I want to spice it up and keep it exciting and fresh. We regularly fuck (both versatile) and have done it pretty much in every area of our home and at different times of the day as and when!
I was thinking about tying up my partner and edging him or fucking him, but I want to make this exciting and a surprise rather than a sort of calculated thing. Not having tried bondage before, I actually wondered whether this would be too much of a shock/surprise for my partner or is it even considered rape (for example) if I haven’t discussed it with him first.
Like I say we have been together for 2 years (and actually known each other for longer than that), but will I be doing anything really wrong if I make this a surprise in the bedroom or do you think I should discuss it first with him? My feeling is that this will ruin the element of surprise and take away the spontaneity and excitement of it, but I’m a bit concerned if he freaked out over it.
Has anyone done this before and any suggestions?
Kyle.
What advice would you give Kyle, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Hey guys this isn’t so much of a problem but just wanted to see what’s the best Jerk Off anyone has ever had!
I’ve tried a few different ways, using lube, spit, etc and even using a banana skin to sort of “fuck” into, and I was thinking of getting a Fleshlight, are they any good? I have to say that so far my best JO was in public. I saw this really hot dude whilst I was on the bus and as it wasn’t too crowded at the back I jerked off there. It was one of the most explosive cums I’ve ever had! I dunno if that’s cos it was my first time outdoors or just the thought I might get caught?
Just wondered if anyone else experienced that or their best ways to jerk off?
Kyle.
I’m sure the QC readers have lots of different ideas and advice for you Kyle! Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Well I thought I would write back to let you know how things have developed, a LOT has happened over the last six weeks!
I also want to thank everyone for all the advice given, I was amazed at the response and the differing views everyone had on this, like I said it was a very difficult situation for me and I really had to think long and hard to consider whether I should tell her or not.
As it turns out, she caught him “at it” (although it was with another woman) and she threw the jerk out. I confided in her as soon as she told me that she had caught him being unfaithful, and although it hurt her a lot she said ultimately she was glad that I had told her about what he had been up to. She didn’t want to believe me at first as she really had no idea he had bisexual tendencies, but I even admitted to being turned on and tempted by him and she was cool about me actually admitting that. She said she realized something was up a while back and she had noticed me avoiding them (but especially him), I guess I wasn’t being as subtle as I thought afterall. It was a bit of a double shock for her I suppose but she is well rid of him!
So I just thought I would give you some feedback on this, I know every situation isn’t the same, but she said that I really should have told her earlier, not that she’s blaming me or anything, its been a dreadful and hurtful experience for her.
Thanks again everyone for your advice.
J.
Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
I’ve been admiring this guy from afar at work for a while (he works in a different section of the building), kinda using my Gaydar to pick up on whether he’s interested or not. So I finally pluck up the courage and go right up to his desk and ask him out on a date and he agrees straight away! (that’s the good part).
Thing is I realized when I was that close to him in his cubicle and literally inches away, when he whispered yes in my ear I got this really horrible smelling breath from him and it was like OMG! I just desperately had to leave. And it wasn’t like he had just eaten an onion bagel or something, this was a really putrid stench!
So he’s agreed to meet end of next week when he gets back from his vacations and I’m like now wondering how to tell him he has a serious halitosis problem? I still really want to see him but I’m worried I might retch if we kiss, what’s the best way to approach this? Is it true that people with bad breath don’t even know it?
Appreciate any advice guys?
David.
Anyone been in a smelly breath situation? What advice would you give David, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
I have a weird problem that’s developed recently and wondered if any of you guys have any experience on this. Basically I’m shooting my load too early!
If I give you some background it might help, because I really thought this was a problem experienced by the very young or inexperienced in sex. I’m 37 yrs old, in a steady relationship and have been with my partner for 14 years. You would think after that amount of time our sex lives would be dull but really it isn’t. I think he gets hotter by the day, we live and work together and we don’t see other guys (for sex) outside of the relationship.
But recently, in the last few weeks, I starting suffering from premature ejaculation, almost as soon as we are into the first few minutes of foreplay I just shoot my load! And this is without hardly any stimulation, I mean just some kissing and some oral, hardly any really and then BAM! I come! Its becoming sort of distressing as it really kills the moment for the both of us, especially my partner. In the past both of us would be at it for hours, literally, and I mean 6, 7, 8 hr sessions. But I never came so soon like that, normally it would take at least an hour or more before we both came together. Now when I have an orgasm after a few minutes it really ruins it for him, he’s starting to get concerned about it and I’m now getting anxious and nervous about it now too. I’m wondering if this is a physical or psychological condition, are there any exercises or treatment that can prevent it from happening? Has anyone experienced this before, and if so, how did they remedy their situation?
I would really appreciate it if any of you guys have any tips or advice on how I can reverse this situation. I’m fit, healthy, not taking any medication and I can’t really think of a reason why this has suddenly started happening. My partner says I should see a doctor or specialist, which I’m considering, but I would really appreciate it if you guys or the readers have any advice or experience with this to share.
Thanks in advance,
Roger.
Has this happened to anyone before? What advice would you give Roger, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QC,
I’m 20 years old, gay and still live at home as I’m still studying. I recently discovered by brother is gay, well it certainly looks like it, as I came across some porny magazines he had stashed in his room when I was looking for one of my CD’s he had borrowed and not returned. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have been snooping around but he hadn’t returned my CD and I was genuinely looking for it when I came across those mag’s (Hot btw LOL!).
So, well, I got a few things going on here, first, I’m not ‘out’ at home or to my family (although I am out to my friends), secondly, apart from the initial shock/surprise, how do I approach him and let him know that I know? I don’t want him to take it the wrong way that I was snooping around, I want him to know he’s got an older brother who’s really happy about it, and can be supportive.
The other thing that’s on my mind… is it common for more than one member in a family to be gay? He’s 18, btw, and we have two younger sisters 14 and 11. I’m really interested to know if any other guys have got gay brothers, and if so, how they dealt with this – thanks in advance!
Tom.
PS: Hey and you guys at QC really ROCK! Love your site!
Thanks for the compliments Tom =) Well readers, that’s an interesting topic, gay brothers/sisters or other family members anyone? And what advice would you give Tom? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QC,
I’m not sure how to deal with a recent situation. I live with my boyfriend, we are in an open relationship sexually, no problems there.
But last week, my sisters husband came over to return some DVD’s and as both our partners were working late that night we were both at a bit of a loose end, nothing much to do. After a few drinks I was quite shocked when he asked what’s it like to fuck a guy, then asked if he could try it with me. He even started to try and touch me and I could clearly see his erection through his jeans!
Although I laughed it off at the time, I put it down to the drink and thought what the heck he was probably kidding. But he’s since hinted at it a few more times and recently started flirting with me and touching me up when no one is watching. What bothers me is that not only am I sexually attracted to him and being tempted, but I’m worried that if he is flirting with me like this, then he’s probably doing so with other guys and ultimately going to be unfaithful to my sister.
As far as I know she has no idea he is bisexual and obviously she has no idea he is trying to get into my pants. Ironically, she even says how great it is that he can have gay friends like me, but I’ve started making excuse to avoid him now. Do you think I tell her what he’s up to and if so how’s the best way to go about this? Do I tell her everything? I don’t want to hurt her but I also don’t want to see her get hurt by him either.
Thanks for any help.
J.
What advice would you give J, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
Dear QC,
I know that Fisting is a fetish, and I’m kind of curious about it, but I wondered is it really possible? I mean I’ve had some big cocks up my ass but I can’t imagine ever being able to get one or even two fists up there. Are pictures of fisting real or have they been sort of digitally altered or something? Also, is fisting itself dangerous, can you ‘break’ your asshole by having something so large shoved up there?
Hope you don’t mind me asking about this but I’m thinking of trying it.
Thanks,
James.
We don’t mind you asking, but what advice would you give James, dear QC readers? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section. Have a question for QC? Send ’em to[email protected]and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!
