Top 10 QComments

Top 10 QComments
You QComment, we post the best ones. This week’s roundup includes a great assortment of anti-war masturbators, cock experts, guys who cum on crucifixes, a porn star with a broken penis, and porn fans with horrible English skills. You’re guaranteed a good time! We promise. So let’s get started!

Our last installment of the Top 10 QComments ended with a bang. If you recall, American Hero’s Poco came on the US Army patch of a military uniform, which offended ex-military QCommenter Thomas. In response, human told Thomas to “shut the fuck up” because Thomas “support[s] an institution created for the sole purpose of killing people.” We retaliated by smacking human with a “fist-sized dildo” for rudeness and pointed out the hypocrisy of masturbating to military porn while considering all military as murderers. But human stepped right back up to defend himself (his QComment is reposted here in full, with our two cents in between):

I’d just like to iterate that I was not ‘getting boned’ on the idea of somebody senseless ending another person’s life. It was a naked dude, jerking off, regardless of what he was wearing previously. I in no way condone the army or it’s aims in that I looked at such pornography. I simply found it absolutely appalling that someone thought the uniform stood for something ‘important’, when all I see is the people who leave orphans in their wake.

Now, it’s hard to take a moral stance when it’s in the view of porn, but the hypocrisy does not lie in my looking at the pornography. Indeed, I think it more so lies in the fact that you say I should respect the opinion Thomas, yet shit on me for voicing mine when it’s in opposition of his. While I did not communicate my point in the most polite way possible, I didn’t deny his right to have an opinion, only that I disagreed with it on a level that evoked rage within me.

For the record , we didn’t “shit on” human for voicing his opinion in opposition to Thomas; we shit on him for being a dick about it. We like it when QCommenters disagree with each other, we just dislike it when they get personally nasty about it. Several other QCommenters found cumming on the uniform offensive another one even told Thomas to “get over himself,” but they were civil. Then human busted out the “shut the fuck up.” And hey, we’re all for free speech (and even some catfight drama from time to time). But it’s in that spirit that we’re disagreeing with human now. Anyway, human’s tirade continues:

It’s also hard to respond in kind to someone who says such things as, “sometimes certain people just need to die”. I’m sorry if I feel justified in my disgust at the mindless killing machines created by the slaughterhouse that is the army. While it once stood for justice and humanitarianism (mainly World War 2) the army and it’s affiliations are nothing but a murderous tool used to ensure that the money and the oil keep on flowing. When you come up with some valid justification for the war in Iraq, then I may sing a different tune. I’m not holding my breath, however.

And murdering people is not a career, it’s a crime. As Einstein said, “It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.” So don’t try to paint me as the ‘bad hippy’, I’m not the one protecting a murderer.

So it becomes apparent that human’s lashing out against war and its warriors moreso than Thomas‘ belief that people shouldn’t cum on uniforms. In fact, considering his anti-war stance, human may even support people cumming on military uniforms, which would explain why he was jerking-off to Poco in the first place. And while war sucks and Einstein’s a genius, we’re not “protecting a murderer”, as human puts it—we’re protecting manners. QC’s a peaceful place (apart from the occasional rape and skull-fucking) and keeping it that way is definitely worth fighting for.
But the military hijinks didn’t end there. Gay Marine Corps member, Dick Ryan Masters, used his military prowess to size up disgraced politician, John Edwards’ cock. He not only QCommented on its size, but also Edwards’ pubes, the angle of his erection, and his “O-face”:

With my years as a gay man in the marine corps and the navy,.. I can pretty much size any guy up to the last hair. Mr. Edwards, for those concern in uncut, about 9 and 3/4 inches. He is thick at the base and has a wel shaped helmet head. His pubic hair is long and runs down from his beely to his penis and then runs over the top of his penis. This man has a very masculine private area. His testicles are lobed. One is far longer than the other and he can pull them to his chest. When he is fully erect,… he salutes at 3:00 O’clock. The best part is his “O-Face” His eyes rull back into his head and he grunts. You should see this tape. This is the guy PlayGirl should have offered money.

Wait a sec! Dick Ryan Masters has seen the rumored John Edward’s sex tape? We appreciate all the deets, Dick (especially that uncut bit… an uncut white guy is a bit like a unicorn in America). But how about spilling your secret and letting us know how we can get a peek? In fact, we’ll go so far as to offer a grand prize to whoever gets us that tape. We’ll not only reward you handsomely, we’ll also share what we find. Oh yes we will…
But Dick isn’t the only one who knows all about cocks. TS Amandah apparently knows a thing or two about genital genetics, a scientific skill that comes in handy when comparing cocks in a father-son jerk-off scene. When we first saw Rhett Jr. and his “real life dad”, Rhett Sr., jerking-off together, we wondered why Jr. had a bigger dick than his dad. TS Amandah knows why—it’s because Jr. has his mother’s father’s dick:

For those of you guys who do not know, you inherited your baldness, and your genitalia from your mothers side of the family. Males do not inherit that from their dads side. Females inherit their genitalia from their dads side of the family. In other words your dick side is approximately the same size as your mothers dads dick. Women breast, clit size would be that other their dads mom, or sisters.

You can look at their faces and see clearly they are related. Don’t know why everyone is making a fuss, its actually hot. I do feel if the dad was more attractive, no one would be making any negative comments. Watch out for the son, he is going to be a gay porn icon one day.

I personally have actually had a 3sum with a hot muscle dad and his real life teen son, before and I am a pre-op transsexual. I’ve also been with brothers too. Both times that was the hottest sex, I’ve ever HAD!!!!!

It’s weirding us out a bit to think that mothers are responsible for large cocks. On one hand chicks with dicks are kinda QCX material, though on the other hand, thanks mom!

Our next three QCommenters all mention things they DON’T like seeing in porn. For example, William C. dislikes tattoos. But not all of them… only the cliche ones, like the ones he saw in Chaos Men’ edging video with Hayden:

Chaos Men’s Bryan really is becoming the younger Jake Cruise isn’t he? When I think of gay porn, I often want to see a much older guy giving head to reluctant and bored younger guy. Wow! Star tattoos. And a cross on the upper arm. Those are SO original. What’ll they think of next? Tribal armbands? Chinese characters? I always believe that a tight body deserved to be distractedly covered up by some ink.

Oooh! Good call on the Jake Cruise thing! We had a QContest once where we asked readers how many dicks Bryan has sucked on QC. The answer at the time was about 50 on QC. But off QC, the guy’s sucked well-near 70 or 80+ dicks… and those are only the dicks he’s sucked on camera. Bryan’s a good looking guy. We’d probably let him suck our dicks (we mean, have you seen his oral skills in those edging videos?).
Meanwhile, Shoco finds it odd that All American Heroes’ Sam wears a cross while almost receiving a pearl necklace:

I just find it facinating that a guy would get fucked while wearing a cross necklace. what the f ‘s up with that? is it a stupid prop or this guy really religious? in that case, would christ help him through the agony of being fucked, remind him of his “truth” and send him back on the right path, or is he just there to jerk off and enjoy the show? either way, good thing he didn’t get cum on it. that would have been hard to explain during sunday’s mass…

Our mothers (the one who gave us our big dicks) used to say that Jesus is everywhere and that he’s always with you, even when you’re peeing. So we imagine that means that he’s in just about every porn scene, including the one with Sam. We’re also assuming that Sam’s cross isn’t a prop (because what a strange prop). But it only makes him hotter to us. Believe us, we came on a guy’s crucifix once in the shower and though we weren’t aiming for it (it dribbled down his chin onto his necklace), it made us feel ultra-good in that “you’re going to hell” sorta way. Yet if all this religious talk has you feeling churched up, check out Satan’s Slaves—it’ll get the devil in you, stat!
We assume some readers will find cumming on crosses just as offensive as cumming on US military uniforms. But brad finds something else to be in even worse taste—the “straight” stories that amateurs often give in the interviews before their scenes. Take Sean Cody’s Jesse for instance. QCommenter Alias74 said that Jesse appeared as Rock in Military Classified. Yet in Jesse’s Sean Cody interview, he talks about his girlfriend with D-sized boobs. brad’s had enough of the lies:

I agree with alias74. Why do they bother with all the lies in the bios? It’s so dumb. I also agree with pina cole about the fantasy stuff. But the fantasies need to be more believable if they’re gonna work. It’s obviously a lie when you say a model is straight, has a girlfriend and has never taken it up the ass before–and then five seconds later he’s riding a 10 inch cock like a pro, moaning away with a big smile on his face. It happens on seancody ALL THE TIME. Sean, if you’re gonna bill someone as ‘straight’ make the scenario more believable, because in truth most straight guys have never sucked cock before and have no idea how to do it. Queens know an experienced cocksucker when they see one. And my personal pet peeve is when a so-called straight guy takes a huge cock up the ass ‘for the first time’ with no problem. Hello! I remember the first time I got fucked, and I was howling like a werewolf in heat. It fuckin’ hurts at first. Just make the scenes more believable and people will stop complaining about your lame bios.

So, we’re not sure whether brad’s saying that he wants the guys to stop saying they’re straight or whether he wants them to start howling like werewolves in heat because of the pain of bottoming, and to start sucking dick like they have no idea what they’re doing. Maybe we can strike a compromise and just have every guy say he’s gay. That way, the audience won’t care if he turns out to be a great cocksucker. Hmmm… maybe not. We agree with alias74 though that the “straight” fantasy is part of the turn on… although we’ve also met straight drunk guys who know how to give handjobs and suck dick. Maybe it’s that they’re closet queens or maybe it’s that straight guys know what to look for in a great blowjob. After all, do unto others, right?
Talking about alias74, he popped up again in another post—Extra Big Dicks’ Scott and Rusty. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out! True to name, Scott has an “extra big dick” and he uses it to fuck Rusty proper. We’re also big fans of Rusty Stevens; he not only bottoms well, but also tops with the best of them. In fact, alias74 is a Rusty fan too. So much, in fact, that he told us all about Rusty’s recently broken penis and his barebacking past:

I will watch Rusty read the effing phonebook or Shakespeare…do yoga or hanging from the ceiling or something…he is just one of those performers that goes ball out 110% EVERY time! I am huge fan and find him to be one of most beautiful and engaging performers…no matter how he identifies sexually (I think he’s straight identified).

BTW…In case you haven’t been keeping up on current events, FabScout tweeted recently that Rusty had to go to the hosp for a BROKEN penis….yes you read that right… broke it! Rusty also noted that he regretted doing bareback porn pulling a Leo Giamini….

I could have done without either of these (I feel like the latter was more driven by the fact that Russ didn’t work a lot in 2009 bc of his bb clips on Cocksure which got a lot of attention, but where were those studios’ heads when they gladly employed him when his numerous bb scenes at SX Video were making the rounds? Very hypocritical if you ask me – as in we’ll use you if you bb on the down low but get known for it and you’re blacklisted!)

I find it sad that performers have to publicly disavow a conscious choice they made likely with all of the information in front of them and for money all because studios and directors want to grandstand on some hypocritcal moral high ground and not cast well known bb performers…then again maybe he does truly regret doing gay bb (although i don’t think he has a problem with straight bareback…another hypocrisy…oh well). Love you, Rusty!

So for those of you who hadn’t heard, Dusty injected his cock with Trimix, a drug that’s supposed to give you a nice, long-lasting erection. Only in Rusty’s case his erection lasted nine hours, which can be mighty painful. So he had to go to the hospital and have it drained… YOW! We know porn performers have to keep a stiffy for a long time, but you’d think whoever’s administering the injections would know better than to give our Rusty the nine-hour dose! As for barebacking, we agree that studios can be quite hypocritical as to which stars they tolerate it from and which ones they don’t. Rusty made the cut, but how many do not?
Diesel Washington and Steven Ponce
QueerClick’s quite an international place. In fact, we sometimes get QComments in Spanish or broken English. The broken English ones are our favorite because we like the idea of a fan who’s so turned on by our porn that they try to transcend the language barrier just to share their outlooks. Take Mr. CumTopp for instance. He didn’t much like the most recent Extra Big Dicks scene between Diesel Washington and Steven Ponce and he’ll be damned if he’s gonna let something like “perfect English” get in the way of expressing that dissatisfaction:

Steve I thought you had integrity. Apparent you lost that is the money you need? This video sucks! Story line is bland; and I resent the racial lines hear. Such as the dominant Black Stud’ and White men. Have small cocks and Sissy’s this what. I see but same stereotyped stuff. My cock is large so what is knew. Get with the story ‘Xtra Big What” get with the condom?

His last line, “Xtra Big What” get with the condom?” makes us smile. Non-native English speakers can have quite the way of putting things! QCommenter Hallebjorn is the same, except his English is far worse; not that we’re hating. After all, bad English in this case has made for a great QComment. Hallebjorn didn’t like seeing Greg Oden apologize for the pictures of his large cock, and he has no use for prudish American hypocrisy or gay rumors:

Well the standards of conservative media. No citizens of America you see one cock! For some you forget and indulge in the next. But still his career is at large. To most is Gay? Answer is either or not but lingering notion. We are not masculine but away. I enjoy preview it only problem. Not able to actually, suck and touch! QC thanks for photos!!!!!!!

We assume he means that Americans act like they’ve never seen a cock, but simply move from one sex scandal to the next and that Greg Oden’s alleged homosexuality is not so much a problem for Hallebjorn as is his inability to suck Oden’s dick. At least, that’s what we think he means. But it only gets better… and by “better” we mean “worse.” Here’s Hallebjorn again QCommenting on Drake Jaden’s latest scene. He’s not into it and in broken English, dissatisfaction has never been so satisfying:

Hey, call me: “Conservative” I admire. And dislike Drake he is cute! No doubt the Horrible imperfections, referring. To the Tattoo’s are turn off! I like men that natural uniform hew! Skin tone without the {Animated} Deformed images! Drake why? I know your not only man with desire to appease your interest. But not of my this turn me against. Of watching your video’s not into guys with tattoo’s.

Wow. It sounds like Hallebjorn put Icelandic into Google Translate and got the above. We love how he calls Jaden’s tattoos “{Animated} Deformed images!” and how he says that unmarked men have “that natural uniform hew!” And what’s awesome is we still understand what he means. See? Sex really is an international language!
Thanks to Hallebjorn, Mr. CumTopp, and the rest of our excellent QCommenters, as always. Keeping QCommenting and we’ll keep posting the best of them here!

Feb 11, 2010 By paperbagwriter 5 Comments