“There are no quotes, of course, from anyone who doesn’t view sex toys as either a tool of the devil or a publicity stunt. There are no quotes from anyone willing to point out that sex toys are common, completely mainstream, and appropriate for use by young, sexually-active adults, a low-risk alternative to intercourse with, say, Chace Crawford. And no one is allowed to point out that the age of consent in New York City is 17. Momsen may not be old enough to walk into a sex shop–which is ridiculous–but anyone old enough to have a dick in her twat is old enough to have a vibrator in her nightstand.”
—Dan Savage, gay sex columnist and political activist
Being uncut in America can sometimes make you feel very lonely since most American guys tend to be cut. But never fear, Manhunt Daily has come to the rescue with this handy map of where to find other uncut guys in the US. One blog put it this way: if you want foreskin, look for dark skin because more men of color remain uncut than white guys. Sometimes finding an uncut white guy is like finding a unicorn.
But seeing that circumcision continues to sweep the nation, it looks like Foreskin Man has his work cut out for him.
Swedish archaeologists recently unearthed what appears to be a four-inch Stone Age dildo carved out of antler bone. Was it used to pleasure cavemen or was it used as a sharpening tool (bo-ring)? Scientists don’t know yet, but what they do know is that it reminds everyone of a cock:
Sex toys have come a long way since the Stone Age—but then again, perhaps not as much as we might think…
Though scientists can’t be sure exactly what this tool was used for, it’s hard not to leap to conclusions…
“Your mind and my mind wanders away to make this interpretation about what it looks like – for you and me, it signals this erected-penis-like shape,” said archaeologist Gšran Gruber of the National Heritage Board in Sweden, who worked on the excavation. “But if that’s the way the Stone Age people thought about it, I can’t say.”
The resemblance is uncanny.
“Without doubt anyone alive at the time of its making would have seen the penile similarities just as easily as we do today,” wrote Swedish archaeologist Martin Rundkvist on his blog, Aardvarchaeology…
It’s not the first time that such a phallic object has been found from the ancient world. Another item strongly resembling a penis was unearthed in Germany in 2005. That one is even older—dating from 28,000 years ago—and made of stone.
It’s nice to know that even though the human race and world have changed a lot over the last 30 millennia, that our ancestors were still interested in sticking bones into themselves to get off. The more things change, the more they still want to get their rocks off.
You already knew thatQueerClick has your back when it comes to online security, but now a study from the Czech Republic anti-virus software developer Avast claims that porn sites might actually be safer in terms of viruses, hacking, and identity theft than non-porn websites.
Avast CTP Ondrej Vlcek said that the statistics are clear—for every infected adult domain they identify, there are 99 others with non-adult content that are also infected.
In the study, the worst infections were found on more popular sites with higher traffic, and the report states that there was a higher infection rate in websites with the word “London” in the title than “sex”. One of the most infected sites, Avast discovered, was Vodafone’s smartphone section…
Because the porn industry is a pioneer in digital technology, the security measures taken are top notch. Increased security and smarter browser controls have forced hackers to look at other sites that might be slightly more vulnerable, sites where people do not expect viruses.
Who knew? It’s kinda like deciding whether to go home with the shy nerdy guy or the slutty go-go boy. The go-go boy might be slutty, but maybe he takes more safe sex precautions than the syphilitic nerd. Now, we’re not suggesting that you all go out and visit FuckDongs-CreditTheft.com, but you can safely visit all of the porn sites on our blogroll no problem!
Seventy-five percent of you have never been farted on while rimming! I guess that’s good, unless you’re a fart fetishist—in which case, Michael Lucas has something for you. But…
… let’s leave the ass for a second and get even lower on the human body. That’s right: feet! Chinpoko loves feet, in case you didn’t know. There’s nothing better when you’re turning a guy on than sucking on his toes for some old-fashioned shrimpin’. If you’ve never done it, do it! The feet has lots of nerve endings and it feels really really good, especially when you’re relaxed and horny—PATA, PATA, PATA!!!
But that can be hard to do when a guy keeps his socks on. In fact, I heard a pop psychologist once say that the hooker happy ex New York governor Eliot Spitzer used to keep on his socks while fucking because he subconsciously wanted to slip on his loafers and leave quickly. That’s either the most brilliant piece of sexual psychoanalysis I’ve ever heard of the dumbest! Either way, what do you guys think? Do you mind when a guy leaves his socks on during sex or is it a turn off?
Perhaps you have not heard of the artistic geniuses behind Puppetry of the Penis? Just imagine the marionette scene from The Sound of Music, but replace the children with grown men and the stringed puppets with penises shaped like hamburgers, wrist watches, and the Loch Ness Monster—entertaining? Yes. Educational? Yes.
These manual masturminds made a million methods for manhandling meat into magnificent malformations. In fact, we put up several how-tos for those of you curious and playful enough to try (though QC does not take responsibility for any injuries). If you really become good at twisting your cock into strange shapes, you can even audition to become part of the penis puppetry cast! Imagine a career traveling abroad, meeting interesting people, and then showing them how you turn cock into Abraham Lincoln. It’s kinda like being a porn star, but even easier because you don’t have to stay hard!
When police officer Sergeant Andrew Lawrance started telling his fellow officers and their wives about his cock piercing at the office Chrismas party, they begged him to do his self-proclaimed “party trick” of opening a beer with it. So he went into the bathroom of Tommy’s Chinese Restaurant, attached a bottle opener to his cock, and popped open a longneck with his Prince Albert. They might have been impressed, but his boss wasn’t.
His boss, Police Commissioner Andrew Scipione, says that he lost confidence in Lawrance a senior officer with the force and has had Lawrance sacked. Weirdly enough, Lawrance had already undergone counseling for doing the exact same thing back in 2004, but apparently he can’t resist an audience. Luckily Lawrance also has a part-time job working in a bottle shop (where he probably perfects his party trick), so he won’t be entirely without work.
And if his employers at the bottle shop are more laid back than his superiors at the police department, he might want to stop by the website Phallic Cymbals and see what other wondrous things he can do with his penis. Heck, he might even become a gay internet sensation if he keeps working at it!
Why did Harvard University researchers find that men who take boner meds (like Viagra, Cialis, Levitra) are three times more likely to catch sexually transmitted diseases? Because apparently the old codgers with chemical erections feel so excited about having their boners back that they forget all about using condoms. That’s right… grandpa wants to slip you some raw skin:
“Younger people have more sex partners than older folks,” said Jena, a medical resident in internal medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School in Boston… “But per sexual encounter, the actual safeness of the sex is probably lower among older folks in the sense that they don’t use condoms,” he said.
The researchers looked at medical insurance forms from one year after Viagra got released (1997) to today and found that men on boner meds also tended to get treated for STDs more often than men who don’t take them. Surprisingly, the article also said that people aged 40 to 49 account for the largest proportion of newly diagnosed HIV/AIDS cases.
Not only does that debunk the idea that younger people contract HIV moreso than any other age group, it also means that older men taking Viagra tend to think more with their dicks than their brains. We know that getting a chubby has gotta seem like Christmas after a very long, cold and flaccid winter, but that’s no reason to forget all about wrapping your presents (or something).
By all means, fuck each others wrinkled brains out, but slip on a sheepskin before you step into the dewey meadow, G’pa!
Zack Rosen is the editor-in-chief of a hipstery Washington DC blog called The New Gay and a few weeks back, he asked Fleshbot to help him win a competition for a scholarship to an activist blogging conference called NetRoots Nation. So to curry votes from web users, he offered to show his dick if he won. Here was his very persuasive argument:
My solemn promise to the Fleshbot community is that… if I win, I will send in a picture of myself without that pesky sign in front of my crotch. And I’ll have a boner. So do it for me, do it for dick, do it for naked pictures of non-famous people. But please, from the bottom of my heart, vote for me. I really need your help.
If you need more convincing, here are 5 things about my penis that should make you want to see it.
1. My penis has not been shaved, waxed, sculpted or prepped/fluffed by a team of crotch stylists, What you’re getting is the real deal.
2. Say what you want about Jewish guys, but I’ve been told once or twice that my penis is not, shall we say, on the small side.
3. My penis believes that our rights as gay men should not be contingent on our actions. Ergo, I do not find it contradictory that I should encourage men to break out of our molds and fight for our right to be ourselves with my dick out. Sex is a part of who we are. If we trade sex for rights, we are not fully free.
4. My penis has never been published on the internet before. Not even on dudesnude, not even on facebook.
“… a double thanks for not calling me a whore or “an embarrassment to the community,” as the commenters on other websites have done. I figure that many of the readers of this site are pretty cool, intelligent, laid back people with families and careers and interesting lives—people who also understand that a little sex or skin isn’t going to send us to the gulag.
He then added these three reminders about why gay sex is so awesome:
1. Gay men’s bodies aren’t shameful things.
2. Gay sex is natural and pretty damn fun.
3. No one ever won equal rights by keeping their oppressors comfortable.
Congratubations, Zack! Who knew that we could take down the bullshit heterosexist patriarchy just by showing our boners on the web? That makes every porn star a revolutionary and is, in a word, badass. We will, in a phrase, continue masturbating to Zack’s very delicious and thick cut cock for years to come, if not for just the next few seconds.
Hey gang! Chinpoko again! According to my last poll, about 44% of all QueerClickers don’t care whether a guy is cut or uncut. In fact, 24% actually prefer uncut guys! That’s good news for me seeing as I’m as uncircumcised as they cum. So who’s first in line to suck me? PATA! PATA!
OK, I have a rather stinky question this week! I love eating ass. Yes siree, there’s nothing better that going 69 on Hershey Highway with a one-way ticket to Rimtown. But sometimes the road can get a little windy down south and the air in that area can drive you to hysteria. So I’m wondering, have you ever accidentally let out a little toot while someone pleasures your ass trumpet? Or has anyone ever done it to you?
Don’t be shy… it won’t get any better unless we talk about it. Boy, I am dying to see the results of this poll!
“A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn.”
Ever wonder why you’re able to recognize your favorite porn stars lightning quick? Have you ever seen a hot guy from clear across a crowded bar and been able to find his face easily for the rest of the night just by looking around? You’re not just a horn-ball—gay men naturally have a knack for scanning and recalling people’s faces.
It’s true. York University researchers asked a bunch of men and women from across the sexual spectrum to “memorize photographs of ten faces, and differentiate them from 50 others, shown to them for only milliseconds each. The images were rendered in black and white and edited to remove ears, hair and blemishes, which can serve as obvious identifying cues. Participants then had to relay which faces were new, as quickly and accurately as possible.”
According to researchers, both gay men and women were able to quickly recognize the 10 faces most quickly because they use both sides of their brain whereas straight men tend to favor the right hemisphere of their brain. They also found that left-handed straight guys recognized faces more quickly than left-handed gay guys. What does this mean? Namely that the brains of gay are developmentally superior different from straight men and that people who use both sides of their brain more likely to scope out hot folks faster. Of course, hot gay men are a lot easier to recognize when they have “dancer face.” Learn more from other educational QC FYIs: Semen Is High In Protein, Flies Up To 18 Feet OK With Gay PDA?… Are You Sure? Interesting Facts About Your Penis
“Everyone knows that the Internet is changing our lives, mostly because someone in the media has uttered that exact phrase every single day since 1993. However, it certainly appears that the main thing the Internet has accomplished is the normalization of amateur pornography. There is no justification for the amount of naked people on the World Wide Web, many of whom are clearly (clearly!) doing so for non-monetary reasons. Where were these people fifteen years ago? Were there really millions of women in 1986 turning to their husbands and saying, ‘You know, I would love to have total strangers masturbate to images of me deep-throating a titanium dildo, but there’s simply no medium for that kind of entertainment. I guess we’ll just have to sit here and watch Falcon Crest again.”
—Chuck Klosterman author of Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto
Joran Van der Sloot (real name) confessed to the murder of a 21-year-old lesbian woman in Peru and is also the prime suspect in the disappearance of Natalie Holloway, a teen who disappeared during her graduation trip to Aruba. Undoubtedly, some of you will wonder why we’ve bothered posting his nakey pics, but we’ve already posted pictures of physical abusers and anti-gay bigots. What’s one more log on the depraved bonfire?
Plus, Van der Sloot could even be considered kinda sorta cute (after eight cocktails) if he weren’t so darned stabby. And c’mon dude… a one-handed penis cover? There’s a name for guys like that in prison… bottom.
