Remember Taleon and Keyontyli Goffney, the twin porn star burglars who ran a coastal crime spree in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Florida, and Alabama? They not only performed together in pornos for Flava Works and BlackMen.net, but they also worked alongside one another as cat burglars. They both pleaded guilty back in June, but Taleon just received his sentence today. The Gay Porn Times has been keeping track of the criminal proceedings:
Authorities say Taleon (aka “Spider Man”) sawed through the roofs of businesses and scaled wires to get out. Police also say Taleon once broke out of a police car and swam across a pond in handcuffs to avoid being caught. He’s been sentenced to three years in prison for burglary in New Jersey.
Keyontyli Goffney is alleged to have served as a lookout and getaway. He was released in September on time served in New Jersey. The twins’ mother, Towana Goffney, 46, had been accused of also serving as a lookout for her sons—but all charges against her have been dropped for lack of evidence.
Oh Goffney Twins! Why did you have to rob people’s businesses when you had already stolen our hearts?!!
Just yesterday, The Sword ran a story about Active Duty’s David, “a cummy power bottom” recently featured in Leatherneck magazine, magazine of the marines for acting in a museum film about the Battle of Belleau Wood:
The movie is part of a new exhibit set to debut soon at the National Museum of the Marines, and it’s a military production—right down to the actors. “For most of them,” the article states, “this is the first time they have ever acted.”
But at least one of the film’s young marine actors already has a few films under his belt. “David” (or Cpl. David as he’s known to the Marine Corps) has performed for the production company Active Duty
…
Active Duty’s military authenticity was already established in 2007, when a handful of its performers were dischargedfrom the military after the brass discovered their fucky side gigs. Too bad the military didn’t fire David, the adorable bottom slut below, before they cast him in one of their glory-be-to-war films.
Other blogs who have covered this story have gotten poo-pooed by the commenters for outing a military man, though David basically outed himself when the big-dicked bottom started taking dicks on a porn site. Gay men sure do like to gosip, don’t they? We’re unsure if he’d end up getting nailed by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, but if he does he could forgo his future as a career military man and make loads of money getting nailed by other servicemen. We’re sure his time deep in the barracks have taught him how to take care of his ass when he finds himself in a tight spot.
And that reminds us, if you or anyone you know is a closeted military personnel, we know a non-porn photographer who’d like to photograph you in a hotel room… no, really. Active Duty’s David previously at QC: Active Duty: Summer Recruits – David, Domenic and Brian Active Duty: Conrad, Dorian, David, Chance Active Duty: Conrad, Christian, David, and Spencer Active Duty: Battle Cry – Payne, DJ, David, and Thomas
“I went up to him and told him I would love to buy him a drink – if he gave me a kiss…Harry just burst out laughing, threw his arms around me and kissed me on the left cheek. I’m not going to wash my face for a month now! It was the best moment of my life. I just burst into tears, he’s so down to earth. It was so crazy to see Harry out in Stevenage. It’s not exactly the most exotic place. He went upstairs to the VIP lounge at first but then came down to the main bar. He was with about eight other guys and security was tight but when I went over to him he was lovely. I told him how much I had admired his mother Princess Diana and how I thought she would be proud of him. He seemed very merry but he was still willing to talk to people. So I went to the bar to buy him a drink and got my kiss.”
—Rocky Bennett, a gay 21-year-old, approached Prince Harry at a nightclub earlier this week, and offered him a kiss for a beer.
We want to extend our best wishes to Buddy Profits – the good lads behind NextDoorMale, NextDoorHookUps, NextDoorBuddies, CodyCummings, MasonWyler, TommyDXXX, just to name a few! – on their very special occasion. They have just turned 3!
They ran a photo contest in conjunction with their 3rd anniversary, and so we went into the studio with Brit babes Harry Louis and Fernando Kairon (it’s cute they come in a pair!).
We’re glad to have won the contest, and would like to share the happy spread. We had a wonderful time in the studio with the boys.
They say that getting older is like aging a fine wine, but that’s just a euphemism for dying. Truth is, the older you get, the less testosterone you produce. And the less testosterone you produce, the lazier, fatter, worse tempered and less sexually competent you’ll become—or at least that’s what American pharmaceutical companies want you to think. Newsweek says that while the makers of quasi-furutsitic AndroGel are waiting to hawk their testosterone cream on aging men, there may be a far simpler solution: watching Diesel Washington rape a twinkporn. According to the Yerkes Center for Primate Research at Emory University, monkeys that watch other monkeys get it on show as much as a 400% jump in testosterone levels, “promoting lean muscle and quick recovery times.” Just having an erection is enough to encourage testosterone production:
Such findings, along with work that shows family life to be a drain on testosterone levels, prompted Rutgers University sex researcher Helen Fisher to advise this month that males in the “captivity situation”-her term for married with kids-“go on the Internet and look at porn” as a kind of hormone-replacement therapy. “[Porn] drives up dopamine levels, which drives up your testosterone,” she tells NEWSWEEK, while kissing your wife or hugging your kids drives it down.
Aha! Let us just take a second to note that at least part the U.S. fight for full marriage equality includes a desire to have lower testosterone levels (just like straight men!). But even though porn’s much easier and cheaper alternative to some moronic “hormone gel”, therapist Wendy Maltz, co-author of “The Porn Trap”, saysthat doctors probably won’t prescribe Sean Cody as a cure because of the following reasons:
a) Americans are uptight about sex and would rather fix their sexual problems with drugs instead of looking at anything that would make the Baby Jesus cry.
b) Porn’s a drug that may adversely affect your wife or job performance.
c) More than 1 in 10 users form an addicktion to porn (and if there’s one thing QC supports, it’s an addiction to porn).
Here’s more from Ms. Maltz on the dangers of prescribing porn:
“Yes it’s effective, yes it’s powerful, yes it can produce a host of feel-good chemicals but the costs are extraordinary,” she says, rattling off a list that includes rampant self-loathing, alienation from one’s partner and a penchant for dangerously rough sex. The solution, she says, is to regulate porn like cigarettes by slapping a “Hazard” label on the kinky stuff. “I often feel like doctors must have in the 1950s,” she says, “seeing firsthand the devastating consequences of cigarette smoking, while living in a society that continues to glamorize use, ignore research, overlook consequences and resist regulation.”
Wow, did this woman drop out of Puritan England or what? Warning labels on our porn? That’s just why we invented QCX. Of course, we always knew that looking at porn was good for you. What better way to alleviate stress, indulge in fantasies, and clear your sinuses?
“I’ve never been a good judge of what things are going to be huge or not. The songs that I think are the most retarded songs I’ve written, like ‘Cherish’ and ‘Sorry,’ a pretty big hit off my last album, end up being the biggest hits. ‘Into the Groove’ is another song I feel retarded singing, but everybody seems to like it.”
When D-List first came out, a lot of gay guys creamed their pants over how it was gonna be the gay MySpace… a classier way to meet gays than on Manhunt. D-List did turn into a gay MySpace, which wasn’t a good thing—have you been on MySpace recently? It’s run entirely by spambot hookers and glitter art.
D-List never really caught on because it was just another social networking site to have to fuck around with, nowhere near as gratifying as Manhunt, neither as fun nor as interactive as Facebook, and certainly nowhere near as social as MySpace. At least your ex-classmates were on MySpace trying to figure out if you ever came out. D-List was just a badly designed and slow-loading site with bunch of random gay hipsters you’d either never met, never cared to meet, you wanted to sleep with, or you once slept with but wished never to see again.
Well according to Joe.My.God. Manhunt has bought D-List with hopes of re-making the site into something gay men might actually want to use. Here’s a clip from their press release:
Jonathan Crutchley, Chairman at Online Buddies Inc., the parent company of Manhunt, announced today that the company has acquired a majority stake in the leading social networking site for gay men under age 30, DList.com. As part of the deal, Online Buddies will take over all marketing efforts for Dlist.com. Online Buddies CEO, Adam Segel, and CFO, Richard Scott, will be appointed to DList.com in their respective roles. DList.com founder Todd Sowers, recently named Chief Marketing Officer at Online Buddies, retains a minority partnership in DList.com and will be appointed Chief Operations Officer of DList.com where he will continue to oversee the daily operations of the site.
Bo-ring. If you remember, Mr. Crutchley gave $2,300 to anti-gay Republican presidential candidate McCain, a donation that was supposedly returned. He then resigned from Manhunt’s board of directors in a meaningless show of PR damage control. But if the old guy can transform D-List into something as simple, quick, and slutty as Manhunt, he may win a new generation of fans. If not though, it’ll be another PR failure for King of Online Cruising.
But we say forget all your other social networking sites and just join QueerClique. It’s got the two things you’re really after—horny gay men and porn. It’s quick loading, user-friendly and will help you get off, whether that means arranging a hookup, cruising private pics, or wanking off to the latest member vids. It’s fun, free, and you’ll never have to worry about spambots, ex-classmates, or Republicans.
“Individual rights are not subject to a public vote; a majority has no right to vote away the rights of a minority; the political function of rights is precisely to protect minorities from oppression by majorities.”
“People who can’t think of anything else but whether the person you love is indented or convex should be doomed not to think of anything else but that, and so miss the other ninety-five percent of life.”
“I am reminded of a colleague who reiterated ‘all my homosexual patients are quite sick’ – to which I finally replied ‘so are all my heterosexual patients.'”
Anyone who’s ever had a condom break during sex knows that the reaction can range from smug satisfaction (“I told you we shoulda bought those magnums.”) to outright horror (“OH MY GOD, I’M DYYYYIIIIIIINNNNNNG!!!”). But it’s not like scientists can test every condom before packaging them. For one, they’d get too tired. For two, there aren’t enough lab animals in the world to test them on. And for three, who wants Einstein’s sloppy seconds? Ewwww…
That’s where the condom testing robot comes in. The makers of Durex Condoms, SSL International, have a Cambridge Technical Centre where they keep their “coital model”—a big robo-phallus that thrusts repeatedly into an box resembling a subwoofer—it kinda looks like something from Butt Machine Boys. Anyway, they created the robot to study why condoms break and published their findings in the journal Contraception. Here’s what they found:
Over a period of 7 years, broken condoms returned to a supplier (SSL, Durex) via consumer complaints were examined to determine the cause of failure. Also, some consumers who reported breakage but did not return condoms were sent a questionnaire on the causes of breakage.
Err… wait a second. Are you saying that Durex wants you to return used, broken condoms so they can examine them? Cripes! Do you just drop it in an envelope or tape it to a postcard? Anyway, back to their conclusions…
Evidence combined from examining returns, questionnaire responses and the coital model strongly suggests a single predominant mechanism of failure we named “blunt puncture,” where the tip of the thrusting male penis progressively stretches one part of the intact condom wall until it ultimately breaks.
“I don’t think turning figure skating into some kind of X-Games event will promote figure skating to the male population of especially North America, but also the world. This kind of talk has been going around for some time, about making the men more masculine and the women more feminine. But it’s not figure skating if you don’t have the freedom to express yourself and make something beautiful. That’s my goal every time I get new music and get new costumes: to tell a story and to put on a show.
“To butch up figure skating is a ridiculous idea, because there’s no putting me in some two-piece pants suit to skate in. [Laughs.] I love my glitter, I love my prettiness, I love getting my hair done before the events, I love putting on makeup because I’m going to be on TV. I know Elvis Stojko was a big proponent for butching up men’s skating, but I have a hard time taking suggestions from a man who rocked purple pajamas in the Olympic Games and World championships. In my opinion, anyone who wants to change the actual people who are doing the figure skating can suck it.”
—openly gay figure skating champion Johnny Weir, talking to Outsports.com
The world is not divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning sexual behavior the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.
—Alfred Kinsey, sexual scientist, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, 1948
I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, “Well, hey, we don’t have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?” I remember when I was a kid I’d always ask my mom: “Why don’t we have a Kid’s Day? We have a Mother’s Day and a Father’s Day, but why don’t we have a Kid’s Day?” My mom would always say, “Every day is Kid’s Day.” To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can’t you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?
