We know that you’re a cock-hungry bunch, but did you know that you’re also blood-thirsty and in league with the devil? It’s true as The Homosexual Menace and Bryan Safi of That’s Gay point out. Turns out that being gay makes us much queerer than we thought. Of course, maybe these villainous depictions of homos are little more than jealousy. After all, we are more fabulous and tend to get laid a heck of a lot more often than our straight male counterparts. It’s a fact, we read it on a bathroom wall.
When he’s not busy havingamazingly hot threesomes or cyber-sexing himself Chip Tanner likes to do psychological research. He’s recently read that people’s brains aren’t fully formed until age 25, and the realization that he’s had sex with guys younger than that is making Chip a bit queasy. So queasy in fact that he blows chunks.
Yes, he vomits on-screen—rainbow showers! No special effects here; just good ol’ American puke. We wonder how God and Reese Rideout feel about this.
Imagine our surprise flipping through the latest issue of the Los Angeles’ gay rag Frontiers and finding no one other than Sean Cody’s Ajay. It seems the Mormon musclestud is hocking his new horribly named web series Zero to Savvy in which he gives all of us web masturbators fitness tips that we’ll never use—but don’t sweat it, your forearms look awesome!
It’s been years since Ajay showed off his versatility at Sean Cody but we certainly miss him. You might even recall that Ajay also tried out for American Gladiators and another game show called Hole in the Wall (tee-hee).
But to celebrate his newfound venture, we’ve created an Ajay QC Fan Club page where you can see all his butt-fuckery and relive the good times before he started strutting his sexy ass on game and fitness shows.
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Remember that gay porn actor who said that Sean Cody told him to “butch it up”? Looks like someone saw the same story and wrote to porn director Jasun Mark to ask whether gay guys or straight guys need to butch it up more often. In Mark’s sexy and hilarious response he says that straight guys often imitate female porn stars when bottoming in gay porn and as a result, he has to tell them to butch up more often than he has to with gay performers. Kind of ironic, eh?
Not only that but he has an interesting test to see if your male friends are gay or straight. We’d say it’s foolproof and near genius, except that we’ve seen far too many gay guys move like Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera, and Britney Spears to make everyone who “dances like a girl” straight. Guess again, girlfriend.
Remember Pricasso, the guy who painted with his dick? Now Reese Rideout is following his lead and trying to sell an artwork he made with his cock. We prefer Pricasso’s artwork, but we like Reese’s paintbrush infinitely more. Do you also do face painting, Reese?
It’s actually really hot to see Reese jerking his beautiful cock, pumping his pecs, and slathering his muscular body in paint (you can tell he gets off on it too), but you may want to turn down the volume, because the repetitive and shrill music could drive you insane.
Botineras is an Argentinian soap opera featuring footballers Manuel (Cristiano Sancho) and Lalo (Ezequiel Castaño) getting naked and getting it on. In these clips the Matt Dillonesque bearded guy falls for the curly-headed brunette. The the bearded guy shows his butt, lays around in grey undies, and gets a beej—awesome! After watching the clip, we’re pretty sure the guy with the facial hair is the top. But that’s only half the story.
The other half is that the steamy television romance has viewers wondering if the storyline is based on soccer legend and Argentina World Cup coach Diego Maradona who occasionally kisses men on camera. Rumor Rat has more:
“Maradona even went on the defensive after rumors that his PDAs with team-members amounted to more than just a physical expression of encouragement and congratulations.
“No I have not gone limp-wristed,” Maradona homophobically told the press after one of his team’s World Cup wins. “But I like to acknowledge and congratulate my players when they play as well as they did today. That was a pleasing result and display. It was a job well done.”
That doesn’t mean that the storyline isn’t based on actual soccer players, just perhaps not on Maradona. But maybe some other hot footballer couple will come out and make all our TV cream-dreams cum true. Until then, get a boner to the clips above.
The recession has really bent a lot of us over and taken us from behind. But Reese Rideout can tell you how to make $5000 extra bucks a month working entirely from home. All you need is a phone, a smile, and a knack for customer service. It’s easier than you think and can make playtime paytime!
Now that you’ve made a little more pocket money, it’s time to capitalize on your newfound suck-cess by making some new hot porn. But where to start? Let Chi Chi tell you how. With just a few nipple clamps, good lighting, and a black guy you’ll be making mega fuckbucks!
Despite their candy shell, you already knew that M&Ms were straight. After all, the red and blue ones always get so turned on by the slutty green M&M. But now they’re taking the candy’s heterosexuality one step further by assuring you that the orange M&M did not willingly have a long curvy pretzel shoved inside of its ass. No sir… and the pretzel wasn’t too happy about it either.
Instead of going for the “buttsex is grody” angle, the commercial should have just had the pretzel making sweet, sweet love to the orange M&M, sticking his curvy, salty stick into orange’s mouth and eye. It could have been the hottest, creepiest candy commercial ever! Call us crazy, but we’d rather not think about assplay when eating chocolate-covered pretzel sticks. If M&Ms melt in your mouth, they’d practically explode in your butthole.
Have you had a good cum and cry today? No? Well than pop some mushroom caps and prepare to have your soul blown away by the inexplicably awesome “double rainbow“!!!!! Forget those crappy “single rainbows”—”double rainbow” is nothing short of a mind-shattering miracle.
And if you’re like the easily overwhelmed ecstasy addict in this video, you may even find yourself shooting a load in your pants and breaking down into a fit of glorious tears. Who knew that optics and earth science could be so rapturous? Sounds like he should hook up with another rainbow enthusiast.
And if you haven’t been reduced to cum-covered tears yet, check out this amazeballs auto-tuned Double Rainbow song, complete with live instrumental accompaniment at 1:30! “So intense!!!”
In HBO’s vampire drama True Blood, Alexander Skarsgard plays Eric Northman, the local vampire sheriff and owner of Fangtasia, a vampire bar in Louisiana. In the film Beyond the Pole, Skarsgard shares the screen with Rhys Thomas as two men try to make a carbon free trip across the North Pole. Off screen however, Skarsgard let out his creature of the night to perform a striptease and then tackle and lick Mr. Thomas. Thomas plays along, but he quickly succumbs to the vampire’s glamor and before long he’s nothing but a victim, clinging to a pole while Skarsgard licks his backside. We bet Thomas wishes he had brought his garlic crucifix. Awesome… once more, boys! Only this time, do it naked!
We already presented you with onegay male porn star with a pussy, but who knew that Randy Blue’s Chip Tanner would be the second one this week. He apparently has a nice and fully functional love taco because it gets “so wet!” during his hot cyber session with himself.
He’s obviously been taking YouTube crazy lessons from Reece Rideout. The two appeared in another video called God Loves Gay Porn. Tanner goes solo for this video, but it definitely gets looney—it even has a twist ending. We invite anyone who understands it to explain in the QComments.
Hugging dudes is awesome but there’s a straight way to do it and a totally gay way. You probably already know the gay way (push your hard crotch into theirs while grabbing their butt) but do you know the straight way? This video has got you covered and it’s really quite easy. Just pat them on the back like a good dog and then let go. If you do it right, you can show your bro some love. If you do it wrong, you’re a total homo who wants them to blow you. Just sayin’…
Have you ever seen those drawings where if you show it to a child, they’ll see two dolphins, but if you show it to an adult, they’ll see two people fucking? Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge is kinda like that. When we saw it in the 80’s we just found it entertaining yet bad. And now that we understand the entire gay subtext of the film… WE LOVE IT! The director has spoken about the film’s gay overtones and others have described the homo-tension running clear through the film. Just check it out for yourself… Freddy is trying to get inside of him and it’s so gay, it’s scary!
We already know which video games have hot gay sex in them, but what if you catch a computer virus? You don’t know where all those joysticks have been. That’s where Privates comes in. Privates is a fast-paced shoot ’em up… in your butt. Err… well, maybe we should just let the game developers explain:
Privates is a platform twin-stick shooter in which you lead a teeny-tiny gang of condom-hatted marines as they delve into peoples’ vaginas and bottoms and blast away at all manner of oozy, shouty monsters.
So once you’re done getting cyber filthy with all those other gay games, Privates is the burning lotion that will wash the cooties away. But is it weird that they’re basically calling your butt a military zone? Some of your butts are like military zones, but not ours. Our butts are like velvet-lined boxes with moist cupcakes inside… and glitter unicorn sprinkles. Although both our butts have power-ups and stray sperm inside. Go figure.
We started to worry about Reese Rideout‘s recent lack of weird YouTube videos, but he and Chip Tanner have come back with an important message—from God! You don’t have to worry about burning in hell for masturbating to QueerClick ever again; God’s cool with it. He’s not only cool with it, in fact, he’s doing it right now! (Wait, is God wearing a diaper?) The video gets ironically preachy especially when God says that he hates people speaking for him (ahem) but it ends with some oral action. Well, at least as much oral action as you can get on YouTube—praise the Lord! Watch Reese Rideout get jiggy with it on YouTube: “Berry” Washes Reese Rideout’s BMW Reese Rideout YouTube Videos Reese Rideout Hula Hoops on Wii
It’s ultra lame to admit, but in the 1980’s when there was no internet and we were too young to buy gay porn, we used to masturbate to the 8-bit NES version of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. We left the controller on the floor and wanked off while the shirtless pixelated studs would beat the shit out of us—mega hot, mega sad.
But modern video games now have all sorts of great options for actually having gay sex instead of just imagining it. We already told you about the hot man-on-elf action in Dragon Age, but apparently there’s even an RPG where you can choose to have unprotected anal sex. How far gay gaming has cum! Bryan Safi from That’s Gay kicks it around QC: ACOCKALYPSE NOW “No Homo” Gayngels And if you like sexy gay games: Porn Star or Potato? and Gay Bar or Steakhouse? Cruising Room, Kinky Keeper, and Hunkcraft Keric’s Complex and Kingdom Cum
