PataPORN With Chinpoko!
It’s heating up!!!! I can’t believe summer is almost here and holy moly!!!! The hot porn is a cummin’! Are you ready for this week’s PATA PORN WITH CHINPOKO?
Playgirl: James Riley
Way to step it up Playgirl. Very nice. James Riley is one hot stud. First of all, look at that boy—no tan lines. Seriously, even his cock is tan. I mean, don’t most white boys have a penis that’s paler than them? Not James Riley. He goes the extra mile and I appreciate the effort.
But no matter what color his dick is, has anyone noticed, THAT IT IS SO LONG?!! I bet that boy could stick it in and literally tickle your ribs.
Whew! PATA PATA PATA!
I’m usually not a fan of Playgirl. Often the guys look too manicured and perfect, but James Riley is just a hottie, a real hunky man. Yum.
Rock Hard Jocks: Addison and Cort Donovan
Addison, oh Addison… how I love thee. Shall I count the ways? Okay!
1. I love your long cock, it’s so big and thick, sometimes it makes me feel like I’m a small prick.
2. I love it when you talk, oh that London charm. Would you film with me fucking on a farm?
3. You love to be rimmed and I’d love it too, yet I don’t have an ass, so I’ll stick me in you.
4. Your ass is so hard, its cheeks have dimples. I love it so much and I love your temples—
That’s not so great, is it? Whatever… screw you, poets! You try rhyming with “dimples” and see what you come up with! I’m just a dick! Fucking critics….
Ahem… bottom line, Addison = hotter than hell. This one will have you precuming like a thirteen-year-old boy. Hottest post of the week!
Cocky Boys: Jackson and Kyle
I have one word for you: UNDERWATER COCK-SUCKING!
Okay that’s not one word, but did I mention— UNDERWATER COCK-SUCKING!
Hold on. Let me catch my breath (just like Jackson had to)!
So I’m not usually a fan of Cocky Boys’ outside pool scenes. Usually it sounds like they’re filming right by an interstate and you can’t really hear for shit. Well, I don’t know what Kyle Majors did differently, but the video quality was MUCH better than their previous pool scenes.
So the scene begins with the Kyle and Jackson racing in the pool. Whoever loses has to get fucked. BORING!!!!! And also, how come the loser always has to get fucked? I mean, isn’t that a bit homophobic? I know I don’t have an ass, but if you ask me sometimes the guy who gets fucked is the WINNNER!! OKAY?!!
Anyway, so Jackson loses, which means he’s going to take Kyle’s cock. Well, before that happens Jackson decides to give Kyle head… AND BOY DOES HE!!!
All of his sudden Jackson’s head dips below the surface and he begins doing some underwater work on Kyle’s submarine. Kyle goes crazy. I must admit fellas—this made me hard in a second. I haven’t been sucked underwater in so long. If you haven’t had underwater head—get it done; you’ll thank me later. Jackson sucks Kyle’s tool for so long underwater that I think that boy must be Aquaman. I know one thing, he’s definitely waterlogged. HAHAHAHAHA! Get it?… water… logged?
Finally, the boys fuck and, well, that’s kind of boring too. Which is another reason why I don’t like a lot of fucking scenes by the pool—they fuck mostly in the water and the camera angle never gets too close. I want to see some action of a dick sliding in a hole, up close and personal—like a Michelle Pfeiffer movie. Finally, these sailors finally come onto land and finish one another off.
I must say, Kyle blows a pretty hot, big load. It’s worth seeing.
Oh yeah and did I mention—UNDERWATER COCK-SUCKING!!!!!
QCA Film Quickie: Robert Pattison Gets His Gay On In Little Ashes
OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! ROBERT!!!!! ROBERT!!!!! I LOVE YOU ROBERT!!! YOU SPARKLE LIKE DIAMONDS!!!! YOU SPARKLE LIKE TWILIGHT DIAMONDS!!!!!
Yes I admit that I’ve read Twilight. I’m sorry. If you haven’t, then you’re doing yourself a huge disservice. Robert Pattison doesn’t just exist so 13 year-old girls can fingerbang themselves. No! Robert Pattison is there for the gays too! So boys grab your fake vampire fangs and some lube and check this shit out! PATA PATA!
This week was almost too much to handle. What with Addison’s underwater cock sucking, and Robert Pattison sparkling like DIAMONDS, it was almost too much for this dick to take. Still, I made it through it. That’s what I do for you… my fans. So what can you do for me? Get out there and get turned on!
