PataPORN With Chinpoko

I’ve decided the month of May should just be called the month of Gay. For one, it sounds better and the world really wouldn’t have to change a lot of the spellings. Well, at least for you English speakers, anyway. But thank goodness we all speak the language of cock and balls because it’s time for PataPORN with Chinpoko!!!

Men at Play: Billy Berlin
RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
If you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to,
Why don’t you go where fashion sits…
Putting on the Ritz with Billy Berlin sitting a huge fucking dildo…
Okay so that last line doesn’t really fit the music, but inspiration hit me.
Damn, men just look good in tuxedos, don’t they? Men like Fred Astaire, Hugh Jackman… KD Lang. So hot.
Billy Berlin already has classic debonair looks, but that coupled with this tux just sent me cumming all over the place. Billy’s amber eyes and those firecrotch pubes are such a rarity in the porn business that he’s such a sight for sore eyes. The solo shoot is really what Men At Play is all about.
Men At Play really is classy porn. I know, it’s porn. Maybe some of you are wondering how you classify porn? Well, go to the site. The all-black design makes the site look super sleek (although sometimes it can take a little while to load). Also, I’m not one for super quaffed models (cough, cough… Randy Blue), but Men At Play always styles the models to look very masculine, clean, and polished. I think if Ralph Lauren went into porn instead of fashion, this is the site he would have designed.

Sean Cody: Clayton
RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
When asked, “Do you surf?” Clayton answers, “Ah yes, I ride the long board.”
Ohhhhkay!!!!!! I want to ride the long board! Clayton is just a H-U-N-K. A hunk. There’s no other word to describe those broad shoulders, built pecs, square jaw, and that hair that seems to fall on his forehead so gracefully it reminds me of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.
Gaston was damn sexy by the way… did any of you think that? I remember when I was a small dick finding myself drawn to his animated girth. Mmmmm, Pata pata! Wait a minute, who was I talking about again? OH YEAH! Clayton.
I love the interview section. Before the video begins, Sean asks Clayton if he’s straight, to which he says yes. But when asked if he’s ever fucked around with a guy Clayton responds, “Sex is sex and orgasms are good. I’ve had fun.”
OH THANK THE GODS! THERE’S HOPE! THERE’S HOPE! I CAN LIVE ON A STRAIGHT PRAYER ANOTHER DAY! PATA PATA!
Oh and P.S. The first cum shot from Clayton is right on target. He spurts himself right smack in the face. As his cum dripped down that cheek of his I couldn’t help but blow my own load. PATA PATA!

Gay Creeps: Plan B After Lady Fail
RATING OF 5 – CUMWORTHY
Why is this called Gay Creeps? Tell me one thing that is creepy about jacking off to sleeping men and then waking him up and fucking him? Seriously, tell me one thing wrong with this!
I mean sure, Colby Keller has had me thrown out of his bedroom three times, but it wasn’t weird to me. And sure Mason Wyler said he didn’t like me watching him shower, but come on, who leaves their spare house key hidden in a locked safe in the corner of their garage that I could so easily find? All I had to do was break the combination and let myself into the shower! And lastly, Dawson from Corbin Fisher loved having me bitch slap him awake; it wasn’t weird until he told the police about it.
So needless to say, Drake getting fucked in this episode of Gay Creeps is right up my alley. Instead of gay creeps, the site should be called Gay Awesome People.
Hottest post of the week!

FREAK OF THE WEEK
Bel Ami: The Circle Jerk To End All Circle Jerks! Part One
Bigger is better right? Well, Bel Ami is on the war path to top themselves again. First, fucking twins and now a circle jerk with 27 people.
I watched this video ready to be overwhelmed and titillated at the scores of men beating their flesh sticks. And well, I found myself… overwhelmed—but not in a good way.
This video had everything to make it awesome. Nice lighting, hot guys, big dicks…but I guess it really is too much of a good thing. It reminded me of when Project Runway started doing two seasons a year. It was too much. One season was exciting and great and it made you get excited for the next year. Too much takes the novelty out of something.
There were so much cumming in this video that I couldn’t enjoy it; I felt I had to keep moving to the next one. I can’t believe I’M saying this but next time, Bel Ami …have less dick.

CHINPOKO’S QUICK CUMSHOTS
All American Heroes: Aitan and Mark – Oh my God. I want Mark’s Army reserve all over my face!
Rear Stable: Luke Hass, Ricky Sinz and Tristan Phoenix – Hung twinks in leather? I’m so there.
Corbin Fisher: Eli – With stunning feathered hair and a rock-hard ass, Eli is like a 1980s God cum back from the past to shoot a hot load. So Rad.
I’m totally inspired dudes by Eli’s 80s inspiration. I think I’m going to start feathering my pubes… thrashin’ right? Well, while I find my relaxer, you get your ass out there and get turned on!