QCrimes: Singer Chris Brown Has, Is Still A Dick.
When we shared singer Chris Brown’s big cock we chose not to mention that he’s also the shithead who beat Rihanna because that sure ain’t sexy. But Good Morning America succeeded where we failed and instead of interviewing BrownTown about his new album F.A.M.E. (Forgiving All My Enemies) they asked him about his Rihanna beatdown. He kept his composure for the camera and then went apeshit once he left the studio. Take it away, TMZ:
We’re told after the interview, Brown freaked out, storming into his dressing room and screaming so loud, the people in hair and makeup became alarmed and called security… he smashed a window in his dressing room, and the glass shattered and some shards fell onto 43rd and Broadway. ABC security tells TMZ … the window was shattered with a chair… by the time security rushed the area, Brown had ripped off his shirt and left the building, blowing off another performance he was supposed to do for the ABC website… on his way out of the building, Brown confronted a segment producer, got in his face and stared him down. People from the show got in between Chris and the producer to diffuse the situation.
TMZ made sure to remind everyone that since Brownsville is on probation for the felony beating that he’s “required to obey all laws.” However, ABC has not pressed any charges (how nice, eh Chris?). After the show he tweeted, “I’m so over people bringing this past s**t up!!! Yet we praise Charlie sheen and other celebs for there bulls**t.” He later deleted the tweet and replaced it with this infinitely less interesting pap, “All my fans!!! This album is for you and only you!!! I’m so tired of everyone else!! Honestly!! I love team breezy!!” Lest you accuse us of being a disreputable news source (like TMZ), here’s Buster Brown’s version of events:
Brown said, “First of all, I want to apologize to anybody who was startled in the office, or anybody who was offended or really looked and [was] disappointed at my actions,” Brown said. “Because I’m disappointed in the way I acted … Yes, I got very emotional. And I apologize for acting like that.
A lot of people don’t know what went down, and obviously when I do shows or when I do interviews, we always send out a talking point sheet … As the interview proceeded, it was kinda thrown off. I was thrown off by it. I felt like they told us this just so they could get us on the show so they can exploit me … So I took it very, very hard and I really kinda kept my composure throughout the whole interview, although you can see me upset, I kept my composure, I did my performances, and when I got back [stage], I just let off, like, steam in the back.
I didn’t physically hurt anyone, I didn’t try to hurt anyone, I just wanted to release the anger that I had inside me because I felt that I worked so hard for this music and … I felt like people kept just trying to take it away from me. So yes, I got very emotional, and I wanna apologize for acting like that.”
See? He was just blowing off steam! We always throw chairs at windows and rip off our shirts any time we feel like relaxing. Of course, the good folks at Good Morning America are all like, “Um… he totally knew we were gonna ask about Rihanna ahead of time. But he can come back as long as he promises to freak out on camera.*” But in regards to his dick pic, The Brownster admitted, “It was an out of the shower shot. It was like, ‘hey what’s up,’ the ‘look at me now.’ I was alone but I wasn’t even excited. It’s whatever, man. I’m comfortable with my body. Girls be reckless.” Yes, those silly reckless girls always taking pictures of their dicks, beating their girlfriends, and throwing chairs through windows. What a dick.
* Not at all an actual quote.
