PataPORN With Chinpoko!!!
June is busting out all over! And likewise, I’ve been busting nuts all over my shorts and apartment, thanks to all the great porn recently. Seriously, I’ve run out of socks and hand towels, and my poor undies and shorts are darned near unwearable; but that’s okay since I prefer nudity. So go grab your crusty love-socks and cum-shorts, QueerClickers, because it’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!!!
ChaosMen: Spiro Fucks Wren – RAW
RATING: FOUR OUT OF FIVE STARS – FULLY-ERECT
Let me say this right now: Wren is the unsung hero of this scene. Sure Spiro has a lean, muscular bod with tatts and a curved slender dick, but it’s Wren who helps keep Spiro hard with his decent dick-sucking skills. Sure Spiro’s rough and scruffy look gives him the boner-popping appearance of a modern day porn-stud, but Wren’s got a lean, smooth body that’s also nice to look at — and his dick is pretty large (so large, in fact, that Spiro ain’t so great at sucking it). Plus, Wren also has a nice bush and low-hanging nuts. I love it — PATA, PATA, PATA!!!
Spiro feeds his cock and ass to Wren before throwing Wren’s legs backward over his head and eating out his delicious hole. After some 69 action, Spiro fucks Wren on the floor — Wren stays hard throughout. When they move onto the bed for some doggy style, we get a nice shot of Spiro’s perfect ass, Wren’s hard cock poking from below his delicious nuts.
Wren then sits on top of Spiro, showing off his lean and slightly hairy body and giving us pube lovers something to enjoy — it’s hot watching his hairy crotch and hard dick bob up and down while taking Spiro. This is also when we get the best shot of the entire scene, with Spiro’s hard, curved dick going in and out of Wren’s ass.
Wren does all the work in this final position and you really get a feeling of just how amazing a bottom he is — his small pecs bobbing as he dribbles cum onto Spiro’s chest. Even better though, Spiro strokes his own delicious cock and then pops it back into Wren’s sore and tender hole just as he begins cumming — it’s both dirty and mega-hot at the same time!
Wren then sucks on Spiro’s limp cock (ass-to-mouth, baby!) and kisses Spiro. Overall, it’s a pretty hot fuck and Wren emerges as ChaosMen’s rising star!
SHOOTING STAR – Despite the fact that the two guys don’t kiss or touch much, their sexual chemistry is evident in their hard cocks. Their differing body types will also satisfy twink and otter-lovers alike.
BLACK HOLE – Spiro goes a bit soft once or twice, and his dirty talk is pretty meh. The doggy style on the bed is also a bit mechanical, but Wren’s facial expressions during that part will keep you leaking. Oh, yes.
Titan Men: Justin King, Dario Beck and Hunter Marx
RATING: TWO OUT OF FIVE STARS – HALF-COCKED
This pool-side scene opens with Hunter Marx (no relation to Karl) slowly stroking his uncut dick, tweaking the nips on his hairy, tattooed bod and swirling his precum around his head — a dumb as dogshit expression on his face (that’s okay, we like ’em dumb!). He watches on as Justin King suck Dario Beck’s thick, uncut tool.
What’s not to like about Dario? He’s lean, furry, handsome, bearded, has a great dick and a nice hairy ass to boot. Hunter likes him too, as the dumb bastard strokes his cock while Justin gives some sloppy, unimpressive tongue love to Dario.
Hunter the pup stops pounding his pud and heads over to where the real action is — and what do you know?! He starts getting a mediocre beej from Justin as well!
Allow me to digress here just a moment, folks. But I feel like porn studios should require all their performers fellate a curved cucumber in a two-minute audition before they give head on-camera. If they suck at it (in a bad way), they should go to a mandatory cock-sucking night-school where they’ll learn to adequately down a dick.
Anyway, tired of Justin’s quarter-assed blowjob, Dario starts thrusting his dick in Justin’s modest mouth. But when that does nothing to jumpstart the action, the furry turd from the beginning pops it in Dario’s perfectly furry ass. The prolonged side shot we get of the action is uninspired because we can’t really see how deep he’s going.
The suckslut from earlier goes behind Hunter and gives the pup a bone, a very thick bone! The good thing is that it hurts (yay!), but the even better thing is that puppy Hunter actually gives Dario some seriously hot head. Too bad it only lasts all of a minute or two.
The three men then jerk themselves off. Sploot. End. Nothing to write home about.
It’s too bad because all the performers are hot as shit with really incredible bodies and dicks. Just goes to show that it takes a more than hot guys, repeated insertion and a video camera to make a porn scene truly cumworthy.
YES PLEASE – Three hot, furry, well-hung bastards get it on. They also kiss and caress each other to turn up the heat. Unfortunately, this only happens during the very last minute of the video.
NO THANKS – The deliberately slow pacing aims to deliver a slow burn, but in the end, there’s not much connection or deep penetration, leaving me frosty. Such a shame to let such sexy studs go to waste.
FREAK OF THE WEEK
Lucas Entertainment: Double-Dick Bareback
What is going on with the black rectangle tattoo above Jonathan Agassi’s crotch? Did the national security agency censor some classified information tattooed above his pubes by blocking it out with a black box?
Maybe Agassi had a black box tattooed there to cover up an even lamer tattoo of Bugs Bunny or the Lucas Entertainment logo. Or perhaps he tried to have “Beware of snake” written above his cock in Japanese, but the tattoo artist mis-translated and wrote “Momma Loves Butter!” instead. And so he blocked it out instead of being mocked by his fans.
Or could it be that he drew a box there to remind himself where to stop trimming his pubes? Who knows. Either way, I’d still top the hell out of him.
CHINPOKO’S QUICK CUMSHOTS
I’m all about the solo scenes this time around. There’s such a great selection of studs, you’ll definitely want some one-on-one time with each of them.
Dirty Tony: Phoenix Devonshire – It makes sense that this scruffy dude is wearing a Wheaties t-shirt because his cock looks like “The Breakfast of Champions!”
Paragon Men: Cowboy – The meat on this lean stud will make you wanna giddy up and ride his wild stallion reverse cowgirl rodeo style — yee-hawwwww!!!
William Higgins: Jan Kuna – Jan, the a hot furry slut, willingly offers up his dick and hole for your sexual pleasure — cum take part!
Keumgay: Michael – Muscle-man Mike looks like that hunky football player you never got to fuck — muscular bod, handsome face and a curved uncut cock to match. Hot damn!
The Guy Site: Junior – If beef is what you crave, check out Junior. Despite his name, he’s a big guy chockfull of muscles, moans and man-cream.
CMNM.net – Rob Stripped – Okay, so technically this isn’t a solo scene, but furry stud Rob makes a great victim for his sexy, bald-headed man-handler.
See? I told you! So much great porn! Wow! And summer hasn’t even officially started yet. If it’s this hot now, imagine how much hotter the porn is gonna get over the next few months! So make sure to check back often so you don’t miss a thing. But for now, GET OUT THERE AND GET TURNED ON!!!
