Ask QC: Training for a 9-Incher…

Dear QC –

I always enjoy reading your reader advice comments and never thought I’d be asking a question. I can’t find any Google info on this one though and my friends can’t help. I just started dating a guy who’s handsome, has a great job, a good conversationalist, a great kisser—and, much to my surprise, has a 9″ dick that’s as thick as a Red Bull can. We’re both tops—I’m versatile, but don’t think I want to take one that big. That leaves oral, which really makes my jaw sore and it’s hard to keep from nicking him with my teeth. Does anyone have any experience in dealing with this challenge?

Apprehensive

Sounds like Apprehensive needs to loosen up (his jaw and his hole). He appreciates his big fellow, but how can he best work up to giving great head and enjoying a flip-fuck with his hung hottie? Or do two rights make a wrong in the case of dual tops? Please share any advice and experiences that might help in the comments section.
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Ask QC: My Family Hates Gays (Like Me)

Hello,

I’m 22-years-old and a few months ago I came out to my mother. I have known for many many years that I was gay and spent too long in the closet. I grew up in a conservative home but I thought my family would understand (though I still feared being rejected). I became so depressed that I just gave up and came close to suicide. But my friends showed me that it was not all bad; they didn’t care about my sexuality and I found happiness with them.

I have a good relationship with my mother and so I thought it was best to come out to her first. However, the response was quite devastating. I told her how depressed I’d been and how I only ever felt right liking boys not girls. That made her cry. She said I was sick (she said I had a mental illness) and that I should go to a doctor. Then she said I couldn’t be gay because no one else in my family was gay and she “knew” it was all genetic.

I told her nothing about me had changed, only her perspective on me. She got angry and ordered me to never tell anyone else. She told me to find a woman to cure me and when I was cured I would see how idiotic I was for thinking I was gay. I argued that it doesn’t work that way. Then she brought up religion and told me I was going to go to hell because homosexuality was against everything Jesus and God taught. We both cried for a bit and then she gave me an ultimatum: change or she’d be out of my life forever. She insinuated that she would commit suicide because she was a proud person and could not bear to face the shame. I told her pride was one of the seven deadly sins and she said she didn’t care.

I haven’t come out to anyone else since I told her. Several members of my family have told me directly that they don’t want me to be gay or else… I don’t know. I know my father would hate me if he knew. Every time he sees a gay couple on TV he says they’re disgusting and changes the channel. My sisters seem like they might understand but I thought the same of my mother. My sister’s boyfriend is an outspoken homophobe. He tells me gay people (men in particular) should be put in jail or, better still, killed. He said he would kill his own son if he turned out to be gay. It’s all very emotionally crippling.

I haven’t ever been out with a guy because I’m afraid that someone will see me with a guy and tell my family. I’m finding myself becoming depressed again and I really don’t want that. I’m afraid that coming out will destroy my family and me. On the other hand, remaining silent will consume me. I don’t know what to do. My mother pretends that I haven’t said anything believing I will listen to her and find a woman. Being gay feels right to me and I can’t compromise who I am. But in keeping silent is compromising me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t afford to move out but I’m working towards it.

My family hasn’t had an easy life by any means. They have sacrificed so much for me and I feel like I owe them everything. Basically, I have no fucking idea of what to do. Should I just come out and risk destroying my family’s life, risk my mother killing herself? I can’t stay in the closet forever but I feel as though I may have to. I’m sick of feeling like shit every day.

What the hell should I do???

Joseph

Joseph’s stuck in a hard situation with an emotionally abusive family. He’s 22 and slowly coming out, but he could potentially sever important family ties in the process. What options does Joseph have to stay true to himself while getting the support he needs? And how should his family life factor into his decisions? Please share any advice and experiences that might help in the comments section.
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Continue with “Ask QC: My Family Hates Gays (Like Me)”

Ask QC: Are Asians Anyone’s Cup Of Tea?

So, I had taken myself completely out of the dating scene for over a year after a very ill-advised relationship as well as some memorable long-term ones. I felt I needed to really grow up and get to know me as ‘Me’ before I became a “We.”

Anyway, after years of fighting against it and peer pressure, I thought it was time I tried my hand at online dating. Seemed like a logical answer to my dry spell. After 1 month, no hits. I figured, these things take time and I should be really patient. After 2 months, I got a bit anxious and thought, “Hmmm? Guess my profile isn’t juicy enough”. So, I had a bunch of friends critique my profile to see if there was any improvement I needed. Done.

After about the third month after I finally got a couple of hits, I decided to really read a few of the profiles from guys I thought I’d be interested in (and some I wouldn’t be interested in). I had finally discovered what was the problem. Under, “Your type should be”… the answer was staring me in the face…..”sorry, not into Asians….” or “Caucasian, Hispanic, Black.”

After reading through a bunch of profiles, I was completely offended and a bit hurt. I know on some level people didn’t feel that Asians weren’t their type. I mean, I had non-Asian friends tell me to my face that Asians weren’t their type. I figured, well everyone has a type and why should I be angry?

However, after all of this, I’m starting to feel like perhaps I may never date again because my race isn’t considered ‘marketable’. The worse part is, my own kind (not all, but some) won’t even date me.

I’ve had several boyfriends some white, some Hispanic, even a few Asians thrown in the mix. The older I get though, I crave what everyone wants—a partner.

I’m finally in a place where I really know who I am and like myself. I can’t change my ethnicity nor would I want to. I live in Toronto, a city that prides itself on being mutli-cultural.

I guess my question is, how am I supposed to find someone if I’m basically considered a leper in my own community? Should I consider this an indication of everyone’s attitude towards me and just accept that my life will probably be spent in solitude?

Thanks in advance,

Proud2BAsian

Online dating can be tough on your self-esteem but Proud2BAsian raises a valid point: how can you personally connect with someone when so many guys seem hung up on race? Is there another way Proud2BAsian can go find a mate? How can continue feeling proud while increasing his chances of finding someone who’ll appreciate his uniqueness? Please share any advice and experiences that might help in the comments section.
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Ask QC: What’s Up With Pube Shaving?

Dear QC,

I must be from the “old school”, but I would hope not at 47. I would like input from members as to why it is so popular for guys to shave their pubes!! I personally love to see a guy with his natural “bush” in effect and I dont understand what the craze is with the shaving! Can someone tell me definitively what the answer is???????????

Regards,

Caybpu

That many question marks he’s got to be mad curious and several of us on Team Orange want to know as well. What are your reasons for trimming or preferring trimmed bush? Please share your opinions and experiences in the comments section.
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Ask QC: Is Penile Enlargement Safe?

Hey Ask QC,

I have a feeling I know what everyone’s gonna say when I ask my question, but I’d like you guys to hear me out. I have a three-inch dick. It’s not very thick or tall, it’s just small and I’ve been reading about penile enlargement surgery as a possibility. I want to hear from someone who’s actually done it—not from guys who have “a friend who did it” but from anyone with actual firsthand experience.

The surgery websites all seem to have positive glowing reviews, but that’s just marketing, and the web’s also filled with horror stories, so I’m not sure what to believe. I know that unnecessary surgery can mess up an otherwise fully functional penis and that not all guys who have the surgery are entirely happy about it. Lemme be clear—I haven’t made my decision yet. But I’d love to hear from someone who knows. How long was your penis before and after? How long did it take to recover? Were you happy with the results? Have there been any complications? How’s the sex now?

I know a lot of people are prolly gonna read this and say, “You need to accept yourself as you are, learn to love yourself, blah, blah, blah.” But for one, I’m a pretty upbeat guy with good esteem who just wants to know more about his options. Second, most people who deliver that “love yourself” stuff are bigger than three inches. Lastly, I’m asking for info, I’m not asking whether or not I should have the surgery—I’ll make that decision myself.

Can’t wait to hear back from you guys

Denis

Denis wants a bigger penis, but doesn’t know what penile enlargement is really like. With all the pills, pumps, and penile surgeries available, the search for a bigger prick can seem daunting. He seems wary of being preached to but has anyone tried these methods and are they worth it? Please share any advice and experiences that might help in the comments section.
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Ask QC: Is Watching Cheating?

Dear QC,

I’m a big porn fan of course and I am in a long-term relationship. I really enjoy watching men fuck online and so when I was recently invited by a couple at a gay bar to watch them fuck, I had to tell them that I’d let them know. I’m not in an open-relationship, but my boyfriend does know about my porn habits; he just prefers I keep it to myself and not throw it in his face.

So here’s the deal. I went out with a group of friends to a gay bar when my boyfriend was having a movie night with his gaggle back at the apartment. Anyway, it was near last call and I was watching these two guys make out hardcore at the bar. It was pretty hot, with them pulling themselves into each other and digging their hands into their pockets and waistbands while kissing passionately. When they caught me watching I smiled and shrugged and they asked if I wanted to join in.

I said, “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that.” And they said, “You can just watch if you want to.” I declined again and left with my friends, but I’ve been thinking about their offer ever since. These guys are a couple frequent the bar my friends and I hang at. They’re both very cute and seem like nice guys. I have no doubt they’d respect my comfort level, but is watching a couple get it on the same thing as cheating? I mean, they’ll be having sex with each other, not with me… and I watch men having sex all the time on the internet. I sit and jerk off while they do their thing, so what’s the difference?

Part of me is just asking to see how other QC guys feel about this. I’m not sure that I’ll ever take them up on their offer. But where does porn end and cheating begin, especially in a case like this?

Bill from Brooklyn

Bill’s boning over two bros in Brooklyn. Should he take them up on their invitation as an extension of his porn habit or would that cross a line? Please share any advice and experiences that might help in the comments section.
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Ask QC: Should I Respond To My Anti-Gay Massuer?

Dear QC,

How interesting that this situation presented itself today: I’m a 54 year-young gay man with a husband of almost 27 years—we have spent virtually half of our lives together (yes, we’re one of the 18,000 legally recognized married couples in California!).  I was having lower back problems for the past few years, and Yoga and Pilates wasn’t solving the problem.  A friend said, hey, go check outthis massage place in town, you might get some relief with a really deep tissue massage.  I called up. Yes, they had a male masseur, and I made an appointment.

He was a pleasant guy, mid-twenties, and he knew his bodywork profession well.  I made several follow-up appointments.  My back pain was becoming a thing of the past, his bodywork was helping out tremendously, and I was thrilled. After a few visits and getting to know a bit more about him, he told me he was quitting that job and I inquired if he would be willing to come to my home – not far away – on a weekly basis to massage me and perhaps my husband.  He said yes, he was interested and honestly, the money was good – we paid him, including gratuity, a total of $230 each
time for two 90-minute massages.  Do the math:  that’s almost $1000 a month.

Deep tissue massage, if done properly, is like a tough workout and is intense.  By this time I knew he was a good Christian boy, married with kids, and I had told him about our marriage at our home with over 60 friends and family attending.  He knew we were gay and didn’t seem to have a problem with it.  We never said anything to comment negatively on his apparent strong Christian beliefs, and we certainly weren’t about to ask if he would consider adding a “happy ending” to each of our sessions.  This was all on the up and up.

Over a year has passed, and I thought we were on schedule for our Saturday morning massage.  This morning I received a call from him where he essentially told me his faith is important to him and that he had been praying for me.  That must have been Red Flag #1.  I thought it was nice that someone said they were praying for you.  Then he goes on to say it was because of our “lifestyle”—my blood started to boil—and that he believes in the bible and that those who do not accept Jesus into their hearts are going to hell.

He knew from previous conversations that we are both Jewish, just as he’s known all along we are two fine people who love each other and just happen to prefer men. I was shocked and yet I just listened to him, allowing him to express himself.  I’m old enough to know that this conversation had a dead end to it, that there was no point in debating or arguing, and I thanked him for his honesty and wished him good luck. I was just going to let it go and figure, I’ll go online and find a GAY bodywork professional locally and then our “lifestyle” won’t be an issue.

I called mom and she said let it go, there’s no point when someone has those beliefs.  Three friends I spoke with today expressed shock, including a Christian friend (who needs to come out of the closet!) who was “horrified” at what had happened. Fundamentalists of any religion—Christian, Islamic, Orthodox Jews—generally all have extreme views about everyone else who are different from themselves, and those views are thinly veiled disguises of prejudice in my opinion.

I don’t think I should let it go, I feel an obligation to respond to him about his “beliefs” by expressing to him my beliefs about folks like him who continue to perpetuate hate against gay people – or any other groups of people who don’t fit into their images of a moral individual. I certainly don’t expect him to alter his beliefs or views based upon an e-mail from me pointing out his flawed thinking— most likely he’d receive it and trash it without reading it, but one never knows.

I’m curious as to the feedback and comments your wise readers might provide.  I’ll hold off on emailing the schmuck until (hopefully) I receive some great advice from the gang here.  Thanks in advance!

Tom

Looks like Tom’s experience with his masseur didn’t have the happy ending that it should have. Should he talk to him and if so, how can he best most effective? Or should he and his partner just move onto to a gay masseur without another word? Please share any advice and experiences that might help in the comments section.
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Ask QC: What To Do About My Extra-Hairy Back?

Dear QC,

It’s summer break! I just finished high school and CAN’T WAIT to go to college in the fall. But there’s a problem. I’m really hairy. Don’t get me wrong, I totally love my hairy chest, but what I can’t stand is the hair growing on my back. Not just the back of my neck and shoulders either—it’s covers the entire top half of my back, and left and right flanks of my lower back. I’m kinda scared to take my shirt off around guys, let alone have sex with them when I know they will be touching and seeing my nasty hairy back.

I mean, the obvious answer is to shave/wax it. I never shaved it, because I hear that’s the worst since it grows back fast. But keep in mind I’m a college student, so I can’t really afford monthly or bi-monthly waxes. Also, I don’t know how fast it would all grow back. I tried the Norelco Body Groom and the Mangroomer without much success. The Norelco just doesn’t work well, and the Mangroomer leaves red marks; they go away in a few days, but by then the stubble is back.

I know some people will say “Oh you’ll find a guy who will be okay with it.” But if I’m not okay with it there’s no way I’ll just keep my back hair growing. I’m planning on getting laser treatment when I’m out of college, but until then, can anyone recommend a course of action for me? Maybe a different product or something else? Take into account I’m going to be in college so money’s an issue to keep in mind as well as sound (I really don’t want to use the loud Mangroomer or Bodygroom in my dorm or in the showers. LOL!)

Thanks a lot. Can’t wait for some feedback!

Marty

Marty’s in a hairy situation and needs advice that’s a cut above the rest. Should the young cub grin and bear his ultra-hairy back or is there a smoother solution for him? Please share you advice and experience in the comments section.
Have a question for QC? Send ’em to [email protected] and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!

Ask QC: How Should I Approach The Guy At The Gym?

Hey guys,

I have this major problem, that I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m 20 years old, currently a college guy and I think I’m kinda bi. The thing is I usually go to the gym as much as I can cos I wanna get fit and stuff. About 2 months ago I started to notice a hot guy, round my age who kept looking at me all the time.

At the beginning I thought “Ok, he likes the way I train,” but when I looked back he would smile at me. This kept going and, it might sound odd and weird, but I started to feel something for him. I honestly didn’t knew what to expect or do, mostly because it was the first time a guy looked at me.

As the days passed, he would train next to me, do some strange noises (like moaning), and show me his toned body. As I am new to all this, I asked a gay friend and he told me if he looked at me in the eyes, maybe he wanted some, and that’s exactly what happens. When he’s next to me, or in front, I always look at him, not too obviously, and he would stare me in the eyes for, like, 10 seconds.

One day, at college, I was eating with my friends, when suddenly I saw him sitting right in front of me. My question is, what should I do or think about all this? I’m too shy to start a conversation, but I’m desperate to talk to him and get to know him better. Maybe he’s just trying to be my friend, or simply, as all the dudes at gym do, he looks at me for no reason. I`ve tried to find him at Facebook (so stalker, I know) but I really like him a lot. Does he feel something for me??

Thanks,

Anthony

Even though Anthony’s new to the scene, approaching someone at the gym can be nerve-wracking even for someone with experience. How can Anthony get a vibe on his gym buddy without making a wrong move? Please feel free to share your experiences and advice in the comments section.
Have a question for QC? Send ’em to [email protected] and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!

Ask QC: My New Boyfriend Won’t Sleep With Me!

Dear QC,

I have a problem in that after 2 1/2 months of dating the guy I’m seeing, he will kiss me and hold my hand but nothing further. We met online and got to know each other regularly for a couple months before we physically met, although we both had our face pics out there so there was no mystery in terms of what we looked like. Our first date went great and we spent hours walking on the boardwalk talking, on the second date we had a fair amount of heavy petting at a sports party he was hosting at his place.

With the second date still in my mind I thought the “3rd date rule” could be safely applied and after we went to see a play, I flirted because I wanted to be more intimate with him. But he backed out from that yet still kissed me goodnight. I really like this guy so I modified my approach on future dates and accepted his at times holding hands and kissing only rule, but now after 2 1/2 months I’m starting to wonder if his not seeming to want sex is indicative that there is a problem in our budding relationship. Also, on the second date I used his bathroom and saw that he takes an antidepressant and I’ve heard that sometimes that might both affect a man’s want for sex as well as potential erectile dysfunction.

So here’s my question for advice: What can be the best way that I can bring up this rather potentially sticky subject up for conversation? If it’s an issue of a medication affecting him physically, I can both accept and work with that. But I feel I also have the right to know if he’s truly sexually attracted to me in any way, and if he’s not attracted to me at all, even despite a potential physical issue, then he is more friend material than boyfriend material, right? How can I broach this without potentially offending him? I have hope that this guy might be husband material someday, but these issues I feel need to be ironed out before we go further. Help!

Thanks

Jason

What do you think QC readers? Is this a red flag that Jason’s new beau may not be all that? Or could his reluctance to get physical mean something else? And how can Jason bring it up without embarrassing or offending his prudish paramour? Please feel free to share your advice and experiences in the comments section!
Have a question for QC? Send ’em to [email protected] and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!

Ask QC: Do My Friends Secretly Like Me?

Hey guys,

Okay, I have this major problem that’s been going on for years when I first moved into my new house. When I first moved into my house, two guys knocked on my door, greeted me and welcomed me to the neighborhood. One was two years older than me, had blonde hair and was really into sports. His name was Mitchell. The other guy had black short hair and looked like a football player. He was a year younger than me; his
name was Matty.

I started talking to them and more and more I eventually started sleeping over Mitchell’s house which only has two beds (they don’t know I’m bi because I didn’t want to shock them or make them feel akward around me). I’ve acted like I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as Matty but have secretly been wanting to. I was closer to Mitchell and invited him over to spend the night. By morning, he would somehow always be basically spooning me and this made me question his sexuality—it was
very hard to not go down on him.

The next time i slept over Mitchell’s, i fell alseep early and woke up in the middle of the night. Matty had one hand hugging me and one leg over mine gripping me close to him and his penis close to my bum. It made me wonder are both guys bi or gay or doing they fool around with each when no one is around. Two years have passed and i have wonder what could I do to make them tell me if they are. Please someone tell me what I can do cause it’s making me wonder whether we all might make good boyfriends.

Looks like our reader’s got a hot situation on his hands. Should he mention the pink elephant in the room, make a move, or try something else to get a clearer read on their intentions? Feel free share any advice or experiences that might helpful in the comments section.
Have a question for QC? Send ’em to [email protected] and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!

Ask QC: How Do I Tell My Dad That My “Uncle” Raped Me?

Dear QueerClick,

When I was in my mid-teens, I used to spend much of my summer vacation with my father and his good friend, John or (Uncle John as I called him), on John’s ranch in west Texas. I always had a huge crush on John. I found him very handsome, rugged, and extremely masculine. My father was oblivious about my infatuation, but John was very well aware of my crush. He teased and taunted me behind my father’s back and was extremely “friendly” with me when my father wasn’t around. I rarely resisted. I even enjoyed the attention I was receiving from the very man I lusted after.

My lust became a reality when John allowed me to go down on him one summer. I was consciously aware of the fact that I was a teenager having oral sex with a man my father’s age. In fact, I much welcomed it. Part of the thrill was getting caught with an older man twice my age.

I loved visiting Uncle John every summer. However, things turned sour one summer when John went beyond my limits and molested me without my consent. What was worse was he guilted me into believing it was what I really wanted. I was in such lust that I allowed him to continue molesting me despite the pain and discomfort I felt from the experience. What was once pleasurable, became a nightmare. It wasn’t until years later that I finally came to terms with the fact that he raped me.

Fortunately for me, John and my father had a falling out after that summer and I never saw John again. In the 15 summer since that one, my father remarried and I became a stepbrother to two boys who are now 13 and 14.

Somehow, to my disbelief, Uncle John has come back into the picture and I just found out my father wants to take the boys to spend the summer at the ranch. My brothers are very excited and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want either of the boys to have to go through what I did. I’m also concerned because I believe the 13-year-old is gay and I fear he might fall for John’s charm. I definitely do not want to have this happen yet I don’t know how to get everyone to change their minds without rehashing the memories.

Do I tell my father, after 15 years of silence, what that man did to me? We’ve had a very stressful relationship since I came out so I fear he might not even listen or think I’m telling him lies. I don’t have much of a relationship with my stepmother either so I’m not sure what to do.

It took me long enough to move past this ordeal. I don’t want to drag the whole thing out again but will if it’s the only resort. How do I get them to listen to me?

I would love some advice on how I may be able to get my father to reconsider and have his family find something else to do this summer without bringing too much drama to the table. If your readers have had similar experiences, I would love some advice.

Thanks,
Sean

Sean really needs our help to potentially save his stepbrother. What’s the best way for him to proceed without alienating himself from his dad or completely reopening his painful past? If you have any helpful experiences or opinions to offer, please share them in the comments section.
Have a question for QC? Send ’em to [email protected] and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!

Ask QC: Prosthetic Testicle?

Dear QueerClick readers,

My name’s Jon and I only have one testicle (wow, I sound like a guy at an AA meeting, LOL!). I lost the other in a sports injury when I was a teenager. I got teased about it in the locker room—some guys called me “Juan Ball,” “One Nut,” and “fucking freak.” Though I tried to laugh it off, it often hurt my feelings.

I’m already very self-conscious and I want to start dating, but I’m worried that I’ll get made fun of again for my deformity. If that happened with someone I liked, I think it’d really crush me. To avoid the embarrassment, I’m considering getting a testicular implant, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea.

I’ve been reading about implants online. They’re expensive and I’ve heard some horror stories, but I think I can save up and get one to help me feel less self-conscious. I was wondering if any of your readers have ever gotten them and if so, if they’ve been happy with them.

Thank you very much,
Jon

It seems like Jon’s reaching out for some encouragement and information. Whad’ya say, QC readers? Can we help him out? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section.
Have a question for QC? Send ’em to [email protected] and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!

Ask QC: Thinking Of Others In Bed

Dear QC,

I love looking at men. Out in public I just about give myself whiplash turning my head to check out every hot guy who passes. I “read” QueerClick several times a day and watch porn just about every time I jerk-off.

Here’s the thing though: I find myself thinking about other men—particularly other guys I’ve fooled around with—whenever I’m fooling around with my boyfriend. My boyfriend’s hot, I love his body, and he’s good, giving, and game, but these days I have to imagine others just to cum. Does that make me a creep or a cheater?

Part of me thinks it’s OK but part of me worries what it might mean. Doesn’t everybody fantasize in bed? Is it OK to think about other guys when you’re with someone else? I’m not looking to break up or cheat or anything, but could my fantasies be an indicator of something else? I worry that if I ever told my boyfriend, he’d be angry with me or think that he’s not enough, which seems unfair. What do you think?

Yours,
Raymond

What do you think, QC readers? Is too much of a good thing bad or should Ray get his head out of the porn and into his boyfriend? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section.
Have a question for QC? Send ’em to [email protected] and we’ll do our best to solve your problems!

Ask QC: My Gay Friend’s Painfully Closeted!

Hey there,

I have a bit of a dilemma about my best friend.  I have a feeling he is gay but is in denial and/or afraid to admit it.  I’ve talked to a couple of my friends about it and we all think the same thing, however I’m still not sure enough of what to do.  That’s why I decided to ask my fellow QC readers and get some more input and advice.

I’ll start off with reasons as to why I think he’s gay.  About 3 years ago we went away together with my mom on a trip to a resort for a week and during that trip we would show each other our asses quite often, him especially to the point where it felt quite sexual.  Nothing like that has happened since, however there are other occurrences that are the main reasons why I’m questioning his sexuality.

He’s always interested in my sex life and what I do with my boyfriends and what not and can hear all the details without getting grossed out.  I also noticed that he’s rather jealous of my boyfriends and when he met my current boyfriend recently he didn’t acknowledge him much and barely said anything to him whereas his fiance (yes – he’s engaged to his first and only girlfriend) and I talked and laughed with my boyfriend the entire dinner.

  A few months ago with my last boyfriend, he said I should break up with my boyfriend because he was going away for a few weeks and I wasn’t going to see him and not long after that sent me text messages saying that he’s gay too and he loves me and would break up with his girlfriend for me if I would break up with my boyfriend for him and if I thought he was hot and so forth.  I phoned him and he didn’t say much but eventually said via text later on that he was joking and left it at that.

I do get a gay vibe from him and while my gaydar is pretty good, I just want to make sure I’m 100% correct.  Problem is though that even if he is, he comes from a Catholic background that creates a conflict for him if he wanted to come out.  Plus he’s engaged so it makes things harder.  BTW, it was the girlfriend that made it clear that she wanted to get married and that was her dream and even after buying the ring for her, it took him almost three months to propose to her because he was “nervous”.

So the issue I’m having is how to go about the situation with him.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Cheers,

M

Sounds like M is really concerned about his friend and is depending on QC Readers to help. But even if his friend is a closet case, what can/should M do about it? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section.
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