QueerClick

Hey guys,

I have this major problem, that I don't know what to do anymore. I'm 20 years old, currently a college guy and I think I'm kinda bi. The thing is I usually go to the gym as much as I can cos I wanna get fit and stuff. About 2 months ago I started to notice a hot guy, round my age who kept looking at me all the time.

At the beginning I thought "Ok, he likes the way I train," but when I looked back he would smile at me. This kept going and, it might sound odd and weird, but I started to feel something for him. I honestly didn't knew what to expect or do, mostly because it was the first time a guy looked at me.

As the days passed, he would train next to me, do some strange noises (like moaning), and show me his toned body. As I am new to all this, I asked a gay friend and he told me if he looked at me in the eyes, maybe he wanted some, and that's exactly what happens. When he's next to me, or in front, I always look at him, not too obviously, and he would stare me in the eyes for, like, 10 seconds.

One day, at college, I was eating with my friends, when suddenly I saw him sitting right in front of me. My question is, what should I do or think about all this? I'm too shy to start a conversation, but I'm desperate to talk to him and get to know him better. Maybe he's just trying to be my friend, or simply, as all the dudes at gym do, he looks at me for no reason. I`ve tried to find him at Facebook (so stalker, I know) but I really like him a lot. Does he feel something for me??

Thanks,

Anthony

Even though Anthony's new to the scene, approaching someone at the gym can be nerve-wracking even for someone with experience. How can Anthony get a vibe on his gym buddy without making a wrong move? Please feel free to share your experiences and advice in the comments section.

Have a question for QC? Send 'em to ask@queerclick.com and we'll do our best to solve your problems!

Dear QC,

I have a problem in that after 2 1/2 months of dating the guy I'm seeing, he will kiss me and hold my hand but nothing further. We met online and got to know each other regularly for a couple months before we physically met, although we both had our face pics out there so there was no mystery in terms of what we looked like. Our first date went great and we spent hours walking on the boardwalk talking, on the second date we had a fair amount of heavy petting at a sports party he was hosting at his place.

With the second date still in my mind I thought the "3rd date rule" could be safely applied and after we went to see a play, I flirted because I wanted to be more intimate with him. But he backed out from that yet still kissed me goodnight. I really like this guy so I modified my approach on future dates and accepted his at times holding hands and kissing only rule, but now after 2 1/2 months I'm starting to wonder if his not seeming to want sex is indicative that there is a problem in our budding relationship. Also, on the second date I used his bathroom and saw that he takes an antidepressant and I've heard that sometimes that might both affect a man's want for sex as well as potential erectile dysfunction.

So here's my question for advice: What can be the best way that I can bring up this rather potentially sticky subject up for conversation? If it's an issue of a medication affecting him physically, I can both accept and work with that. But I feel I also have the right to know if he's truly sexually attracted to me in any way, and if he's not attracted to me at all, even despite a potential physical issue, then he is more friend material than boyfriend material, right? How can I broach this without potentially offending him? I have hope that this guy might be husband material someday, but these issues I feel need to be ironed out before we go further. Help!

Thanks

Jason

What do you think QC readers? Is this a red flag that Jason's new beau may not be all that? Or could his reluctance to get physical mean something else? And how can Jason bring it up without embarrassing or offending his prudish paramour? Please feel free to share your advice and experiences in the comments section!

Have a question for QC? Send 'em to ask@queerclick.com and we'll do our best to solve your problems!

Watch Hazzardous Life Episode 3 in How-To  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Seem like months ago that porn cutie, Johnny Hazzard choked his chicken for us on his home cooking program, Hazzardous Life. This time around, he wants to shove it in your oven and he's gonna do it "so easy it's ridiculous."

It's good for you, he says. "I don't get enough and I'm certain most of you out there aren't getting enough either." Speak for yourself, Hazzard! We got a big cheesy mouthful of zucchini just last night. But then he starts talking about shoving stalks in your oven, how "it gets sweeter the hotter it gets." He also suggests tossing salads with olive oil: "It works as a glue" (GLUE?!!) but "you're gonna get your shakers kinda oily." Put away the balsamic vinegar, you culinary slut, you've added all the sweetness and tang we need.

But how will you know when Hazzard's done in your love oven? Dare we slip his broccoli outside our box and release all the heat? He suggests:

"Look for the skin to blister. That is your indication that it's time to flip... the second time around shouldn't be as long... yet again you want to look for the blistering of your skin and the browning of your broccoli."

Apparently Hazzard's not done until the skin on his stalk begins turning brown and peeling off! Jesus tits! Then, after heating us up with his culinary innuendo, he slips a skinny one into his mouth and moans with delight. "SHOVEL IT IN!" the screen says just as he sheepishly covers his mancakes and goes scampering up the stairs. Damn, Johnny! What about dessert?!?!

Talk about a naked chef! All all his dirty innuendo has caused us to sprout an organic cucumber in our man-patch. So if you wanna really get cooking and see how Johnny Hazzard handles his vegetable with his fellow salad tossers, check out Johnny Hazzard's QC Fan Page.

Hey guys,

Okay, I have this major problem that's been going on for years when I first moved into my new house. When I first moved into my house, two guys knocked on my door, greeted me and welcomed me to the neighborhood. One was two years older than me, had blonde hair and was really into sports. His name was Mitchell. The other guy had black short hair and looked like a football player. He was a year younger than me; his name was Matty.

I started talking to them and more and more I eventually started sleeping over Mitchell's house which only has two beds (they don't know I'm bi because I didn't want to shock them or make them feel akward around me). I've acted like I didn't want to sleep in the same bed as Matty but have secretly been wanting to. I was closer to Mitchell and invited him over to spend the night. By morning, he would somehow always be basically spooning me and this made me question his sexuality—it was very hard to not go down on him.

The next time i slept over Mitchell's, i fell alseep early and woke up in the middle of the night. Matty had one hand hugging me and one leg over mine gripping me close to him and his penis close to my bum. It made me wonder are both guys bi or gay or doing they fool around with each when no one is around. Two years have passed and i have wonder what could I do to make them tell me if they are. Please someone tell me what I can do cause it's making me wonder whether we all might make good boyfriends.

Looks like our reader's got a hot situation on his hands. Should he mention the pink elephant in the room, make a move, or try something else to get a clearer read on their intentions? Feel free share any advice or experiences that might helpful in the comments section.

Have a question for QC? Send 'em to ask@queerclick.com and we'll do our best to solve your problems!

Dear QueerClick,

When I was in my mid-teens, I used to spend much of my summer vacation with my father and his good friend, John or (Uncle John as I called him), on John's ranch in west Texas. I always had a huge crush on John. I found him very handsome, rugged, and extremely masculine. My father was oblivious about my infatuation, but John was very well aware of my crush. He teased and taunted me behind my father's back and was extremely "friendly" with me when my father wasn't around. I rarely resisted. I even enjoyed the attention I was receiving from the very man I lusted after.

My lust became a reality when John allowed me to go down on him one summer. I was consciously aware of the fact that I was a teenager having oral sex with a man my father's age. In fact, I much welcomed it. Part of the thrill was getting caught with an older man twice my age.

I loved visiting Uncle John every summer. However, things turned sour one summer when John went beyond my limits and molested me without my consent. What was worse was he guilted me into believing it was what I really wanted. I was in such lust that I allowed him to continue molesting me despite the pain and discomfort I felt from the experience. What was once pleasurable, became a nightmare. It wasn't until years later that I finally came to terms with the fact that he raped me.

Fortunately for me, John and my father had a falling out after that summer and I never saw John again. In the 15 summer since that one, my father remarried and I became a stepbrother to two boys who are now 13 and 14.

Somehow, to my disbelief, Uncle John has come back into the picture and I just found out my father wants to take the boys to spend the summer at the ranch. My brothers are very excited and I don't know what to do. I don't want either of the boys to have to go through what I did. I'm also concerned because I believe the 13-year-old is gay and I fear he might fall for John's charm. I definitely do not want to have this happen yet I don't know how to get everyone to change their minds without rehashing the memories.

Do I tell my father, after 15 years of silence, what that man did to me? We've had a very stressful relationship since I came out so I fear he might not even listen or think I'm telling him lies. I don't have much of a relationship with my stepmother either so I'm not sure what to do.

It took me long enough to move past this ordeal. I don't want to drag the whole thing out again but will if it's the only resort. How do I get them to listen to me?

I would love some advice on how I may be able to get my father to reconsider and have his family find something else to do this summer without bringing too much drama to the table. If your readers have had similar experiences, I would love some advice.

Thanks, Sean

Sean really needs our help to potentially save his stepbrother. What's the best way for him to proceed without alienating himself from his dad or completely reopening his painful past? If you have any helpful experiences or opinions to offer, please share them in the comments section.

Have a question for QC? Send 'em to ask@queerclick.com and we'll do our best to solve your problems!

Dear QueerClick readers,

My name's Jon and I only have one testicle (wow, I sound like a guy at an AA meeting, LOL!). I lost the other in a sports injury when I was a teenager. I got teased about it in the locker room—some guys called me "Juan Ball," "One Nut," and "fucking freak." Though I tried to laugh it off, it often hurt my feelings.

I'm already very self-conscious and I want to start dating, but I'm worried that I'll get made fun of again for my deformity. If that happened with someone I liked, I think it'd really crush me. To avoid the embarrassment, I'm considering getting a testicular implant, but I don't know if it's a good idea.

I've been reading about implants online. They're expensive and I've heard some horror stories, but I think I can save up and get one to help me feel less self-conscious. I was wondering if any of your readers have ever gotten them and if so, if they've been happy with them.

Thank you very much, Jon

It seems like Jon's reaching out for some encouragement and information. Whad'ya say, QC readers? Can we help him out? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section.

Have a question for QC? Send 'em to ask@queerclick.com and we'll do our best to solve your problems!

Dear QC,

I love looking at men. Out in public I just about give myself whiplash turning my head to check out every hot guy who passes. I "read" QueerClick several times a day and watch porn just about every time I jerk-off.

Here's the thing though: I find myself thinking about other men—particularly other guys I've fooled around with—whenever I'm fooling around with my boyfriend. My boyfriend's hot, I love his body, and he's good, giving, and game, but these days I have to imagine others just to cum. Does that make me a creep or a cheater?

Part of me thinks it's OK but part of me worries what it might mean. Doesn't everybody fantasize in bed? Is it OK to think about other guys when you're with someone else? I'm not looking to break up or cheat or anything, but could my fantasies be an indicator of something else? I worry that if I ever told my boyfriend, he'd be angry with me or think that he's not enough, which seems unfair. What do you think?

Yours,
Raymond

What do you think, QC readers? Is too much of a good thing bad or should Ray get his head out of the porn and into his boyfriend? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section.

Have a question for QC? Send 'em to ask@queerclick.com and we'll do our best to solve your problems!

Hey there,

I have a bit of a dilemma about my best friend.  I have a feeling he is gay but is in denial and/or afraid to admit it.  I've talked to a couple of my friends about it and we all think the same thing, however I'm still not sure enough of what to do.  That's why I decided to ask my fellow QC readers and get some more input and advice.

I'll start off with reasons as to why I think he's gay.  About 3 years ago we went away together with my mom on a trip to a resort for a week and during that trip we would show each other our asses quite often, him especially to the point where it felt quite sexual.  Nothing like that has happened since, however there are other occurrences that are the main reasons why I'm questioning his sexuality.

He's always interested in my sex life and what I do with my boyfriends and what not and can hear all the details without getting grossed out.  I also noticed that he's rather jealous of my boyfriends and when he met my current boyfriend recently he didn't acknowledge him much and barely said anything to him whereas his fiance (yes - he's engaged to his first and only girlfriend) and I talked and laughed with my boyfriend the entire dinner.

  A few months ago with my last boyfriend, he said I should break up with my boyfriend because he was going away for a few weeks and I wasn't going to see him and not long after that sent me text messages saying that he's gay too and he loves me and would break up with his girlfriend for me if I would break up with my boyfriend for him and if I thought he was hot and so forth.  I phoned him and he didn't say much but eventually said via text later on that he was joking and left it at that.

I do get a gay vibe from him and while my gaydar is pretty good, I just want to make sure I'm 100% correct.  Problem is though that even if he is, he comes from a Catholic background that creates a conflict for him if he wanted to come out.  Plus he's engaged so it makes things harder.  BTW, it was the girlfriend that made it clear that she wanted to get married and that was her dream and even after buying the ring for her, it took him almost three months to propose to her because he was "nervous".

So the issue I'm having is how to go about the situation with him.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Cheers,

M

Sounds like M is really concerned about his friend and is depending on QC Readers to help. But even if his friend is a closet case, what can/should M do about it? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section.

Have a question for QC? Send 'em to ask@queerclick.com and we'll do our best to solve your problems!

Dear QC,

8 months ago, I hooked up with an old friend of mine from high school (I am now in my late 20s). We started dating, fell in love, and decided to be in a relationship. As we now live in different countries, we have been sustaining a long-distance relationship by visiting each other as much as we can. The problem lies with our future plans.

I live in a small city with my family. He plans to come over to my country as a student so that he can pursue further education while being with me (My country does not allow for any kind of gay union, so the only way he can remain here is by me sponsoring him after living together while he studies). The strange thing is that he is adamant in moving to the capital city. While it is true that there is a better school for him to study, I am simply not financially able to survive there (I am a freelance artist, and have carved a niche in what I do where I live).

I have tried my best to explain this point to him, but he does not believe it would be as impractical as I think it is. I have suggested that he come to my city, where he can also study and take advantage of the fact that my family can help us to settle. However, it appears the attraction of the capital is hard to resist. He now accuses me of being afraid of change and being too comfortable with living with my family.

My other worry is that I do not think it is realistic to begin a relationship with someone in a new expensive city. I also explained to him how it doesn't really make sense for both of us to have to move just to be together. It's like asking me to move from New Mexico to New York to live with my new European boyfriend. It just doesn't make sense (to me at least), which is why I find myself questioning his motive.

Is he moving to my country to be with me or to live the fast-paced life in the city of his choice? After expressing my reluctance to his plan, he accused me of taking his dream away from him. He then said, "I'll move there first. When you're ready, you can come and join me". What should I do? There are so many issues to consider; I don't know what's right from what's sensible.

Sincerely, Small City Boy

What do you think, QC? Should Small City Boy follow his boyfriend to the big city or stay put? What are the consequence and ways he could make his relationship work in both cases? Please feel free to share your own experiences and advice to help him in the comments section.

Have a question for QC? Send 'em to ask@queerclick.com and we'll do our best to solve your problems!

Whether you like his politics or advice, sex columnist Dan Savage remains one of the most vociferous and sexiest advocates for gay rights in America today (unless you count Rob Tisnai). He's a Irish-American DILF with wit, humor, nice biceps, and one hell of a ghetto onion. Here he responds to the question, "How many sexual partners is too many" by shedding some light on the differences between hetero and homosexual couples—namely, the willingness of women to have sex in public restrooms. His response is illuminating, kind, and ultimately focuses on the need for gay men to set their own sexual limits—we've set ours somewhere in the thousands.