This last week, an Italian art historian said that renowned artist Michelangelo likely filled his painting on the back wall of the Sistine Chapel with the images from Italy’s gay bathhouses. You see, Mike was a big ‘mo and according to this art historian, his masterpiece The Last Judgement had tons of gay sex goin’ on in it. So we took a closer look at some of the painting’s gayer images and found that yes, she’s pretty much right.
Painted between 1537 and 1541, it is a depiction of the Second Coming of Christ and the Apocalypse, with human souls either rising to Heaven or descending to Hell, according to Christ’s judgment.
Gurl, Jesus can be so judgmental sometimes. Christ, you’d think he was the Son of God or something… anyways:
“One of the damned is dragged down to Hell by his testicles, and amongst those who are blessed there are kisses and embraces, undoubtedly homosexual in nature,” said Miss Lazzarini [the art historian]… Michelangelo’s explicit depiction of naked male bodies caused outrage in the Roman Catholic Church when the fresco was unveiled, with the artist accused of indecency and obscenity.
Biagio da Cesena, the papal master of ceremonies, said the fresco was more suited to “public baths and taverns” than to a place of worship. After the Council of Trent condemned nudity in religious art in the mid-16th century, the artist Daniele da Volterra was commissioned to paint over the offending genitalia and earned the nickname “Il Braghettone” (“the breeches-painter”).
Well, we’re certainly not offended by the site of naked men here! In fact, anyone who’s ever been to a bathhouse knows that with the right guy, it can be a religious experience. But just think, the Pope has this gay sexy painting all to himself (well, and the bazillions of international visitors who stop by on an almost daily basis). Of course, the Pope’s got a penchant for dresses and shoes, so maybe she appreciates Mike’s handiwork as much as we do!
NOTE: You’ll wanna watch this in full screen. Back in February we introduced you to the music videos and PSAs of Christiaan Van Vuuren—a quarantined tuberculosis patient calling himself the Fully Sick Rapper. He’s doing much better now (thanks for asking)—he’s out of quarantine and surprised by his large number of gay YouTube fans.
And even though he’s straight, he still very appreciates your love—after all, who else in quarantine would call him “a big tasty hairy man-God”? So he and his brother have decided show their love by doing just about the gayest thing they can imagine—fighting a mixed martial arts battle in a skimpy pair of Superman undies.
We’d suggest you jump to 6:36 to catch Christian’s ridiculously sexy brother in action, but then you’d miss all the hilarity that comes before it, like Samwise and Frodo from The Lord of the Cockrings spanking and jerking each other off. Smart, sexy, funny, a fan of 8-bit games, and a literary dork. Sigh… why does the Fully Sick Rapper have to be straight? Oh well… nobody’s perfect.
Pornos aren’t exactly known for their theatrical mastery. It’s too bad actually because some porn flicks are downright comical, especially when they’re trying to be serious. We stumbled across this YouTube collection of hilariously awful porn acting. And not only do they feature some of our favorite old-timey porn stars, but they also feature blatant sexual harassment and lines of dialogue so horrendous you won’t know whether to laugh or cum.
The title of this film must be Never Trust A Twink or Golddigging Twink Anger Fuck 4. In it a 38-year-old twink pretending to be 18 brags to his Latino pal Pedro about milking some sugar daddy for all he’s worth. Hey Pizza Face! Instead of fucking your John for a Sony Playstation and tickets to the summer rock festival, how about trying to score some Acutaine? That shit’s expensive, especially when you still have acne at age 34. We especially like the sugar daddy’s smug, self-satisfied expression when he catches his twink at 1:06. You can tell he thinks he’s pretty clever because he makes a face like he’s trying to hold in a poop. But why is he playing smooth jazz? Doesn’t he know that twinks only like electronic throw-up music?
Not only is Tuck Johnson stupid enough to think that an electrical box is round, but his co-worker sounds like he learned his lines phonetically and doesn’t actually know what they mean in English. Plus, how is it that Tuck got hired off of Santa Monica Boulevard but doesn’t know what a glory hole is? Any homosexual who’s older than 12 knows what a glory hole is and they know not to stick their eye in one either. No wonder more experienced gay electricians end up fucking Tuck in the ass—gotta love his facial expression though. Somebody retroactively give this boy a GayVN Award.
Remember Chase Hunter? He had a HUUUUUGE fucking dick—like crazy large. No wonder he was the starring role in Falcon’s Basic Plumbing 2 and 3. Now you can see the acting that made him famous only for having a big dick. In this clip he plays the boss of a plumbing company or a dance troupe… we guess. Who cares? Anyway, he’s proud of his new employee. But then Chad Hunt goes and ruins things by sexually harassing the newbie before the ink’s even dry on his contract. Not only is the newb not having any of it, but he also sounds like Dolph Lungren playing the scary Soviet boxer in Rocky 4. Luckily, Cha and Chase are members of the Big Dick Club and don’t need to take such little bitches so seriously… must be nice.
The facial reactions in this clip couldn’t be any better if Walt Disney himself animated them (we did hear that Disney was a bit of a perv). We like how his daddy taught him not to be ashamed of his big dick, but didn’t bother teaching him how to masturbate without tearing the skin off his cock. What sort of father does that? And even creepier, the other guy’s dad taught him how to suck a dick! Who the fuck are these fathers? Hmmm… their fake accents do sound kinda southern, so maybe they’re inbred.
And as an added bonus, we have two equally horrible if not worse 1980’s gay porn clips after the jump!
The guy in this video illustrates why we don’t endorse drug use (unless those drugs are caffeine, cigarettes, or Boone’s Strawberry Hill). This naked anti-hero basically terrorizes a Russian parking lot by ripping the windshield wiper off a van, jumping on the rooftops of parked cars, and then picking fights with local drivers. You can get a good look at his butt and bits while figuring out if you love him or despise him. We’re kinda on the love side, but only because he’s absolutely bonkers and looks so cute in the fetal position.
Another friend of ours wondered if this was a viral video ad for a 2016 Russian Olympic bid. “Moscow 2016: Train however you can!”
We already love Becks because of how often he shows off his ample bulge and briefs. But who knew the guy also has a sense of humor? Watch as Ellen Degeneres tells Beckham to make strange demands of an unsuspecting masseuse while he sits around shirtless—very tasty! Too bad Ellen’s a daytime show or else we might have been able to see Becks get a happy ending.
Via Sticky
The hilarious Taiwanese cartoonists at Next Media Animation already depicted Brett Favre sending penis pics to various women who didn’t want them. And now they’ve got Charlie Sheen going apeshit with a 22-year-old NYC hooker/porn star who he thought stole his phone and wallet. And though we find Sheen repulsive in real life, as a cartoon he’s pretty hot!
They say, “If you don’t like the weather in Texas, wait five minutes.” It’s always changing. Sometimes it changes into a big red dick that fucks the sky and the cowboys all try not to get wet. Of course we already know how sexy weather can be. Getting wet with a big dick in Texas? Sounds ideal!
You might not expect an old Jewish lady to know a lot about cock, but Tracey Ullman is not your typical lady. In her sketch comedy show State of the Union Ullman plays an Indian pharmacist who really knows her way around Viagra. In fact, maybe she’s a little too knowledgable. After all, when was the last time your druggist performed a Bollywood dance number while suggesting you stab a pencil into your dong? Probably never, unless you have a real crappy health insurance plan—sorry Americans.
Brett Favre’s penis not onlymade it onto QC this week but also onto an animated Taiwanese news segment. Not only did they did they make him look cartoon sexy but they also turned the creepy story of him harassing women with unsolicited cock pics into something amusing, kinda like a Tex Avery cartoon where the insatiable poon-wolf chases down every piece of tail he sees. The only drawback? Favre’s real-life antics could end in a lawsuit.
Now for your enjoyment, here’s a video of Favre getting socked in the dinger with a football—live by the sport, die by the sport.
This week, a muscle cutie named Craigery Morgan lip synched Kristin Wiig’s part in the Saturday Night Live “Surprise Party” sketch and got over 2 millions views in just a few days. We already liked his hot body and crazy facial expressions, but we then we found hispicson GuysWithiPhones and fell heels over head in lust with him!
You can watch the original SNL sketch here or here, but we also have his viral video below as well as his thank you. In his thank you vid, he says that he’ll do his best to satisfy his fans’ requests. Well, we’ve got a few requests, we’d like him to fill… um, we mean fulfill.
Not all of us can be mega-hung like Chad Hunt. So we have to resort to other measures, like taking pills that make us grow extra penises all over our body.
Scissors Sisters’ frontman Jake Shears spends his shows strutting his stuff in lycra, leather, and fishnet stockings while the hot lights glare and his ass-mazing music blares. It’s no wonder he gets so sweaty that he has to strip down to a G-string in front of his audience—otherwise the sexbot would overheat, malfunction, and there’d be no more albums. So while most fans gladly took in the sight of Shears flaunting his furry ball sack during a live show, one man left absolutely mortified; the Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl. He’s now planning on suing everyone for $75 million for pain and mental anguish… everytime he closes his eyes, he has the image of Shears’ balls seered into his mind. Curse or blessing?
For more celebrity bulges, check out Cinemale, Male Celebrities, and The Bulge Report! Jake Shears cuts up on QC: QCA Music Quickie: If You Want It Any Which Way, OMD and Scissor Sisters’ Have You Covered Scissor Sisters’ Jake Shears Cuts Loose For Tetu Mag Scissor Sisters’ Jake Shears Has A Rentboy Profile!
We’ve been drooling over sexy crooner Justin Timberlake for a while. He’s got a part in the new film The Social Network but we also got our hands on a picture of the musical stud blowing a hot creamy load and IT’S NOT A FAKE. Believe us… YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS IT!!!
Just click after the jump to see for yourself!
Have you ever been rejected by someone you really wanted to like you? Then perhaps you know how this angry panda feels. Panda is a European brand of cheese that won’t be denied. Don’t let his cute fuzzy face fool you. You’re gonna eat his goddamned fromage or else Panda’s gonna put you in a world of hurt. And you thought pandas were gentle, bamboo eating creatures. Yeah… not when rejection’s on the line.
It’s hard growing up straight in the suburbs of San Fran. Amid all the hair dressing, portraits of Cher and pressure to suck cock, how’s a guy supposed to find a nice bro to shoot Jagermeister and hunt beaver with? Luckily, this dude didn’t lose hope and found a straight pal in the unlikeliest of places—the NYC school of theater and dance. But as he soon learned, heterosexuality ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it’s kinda gay.
