I’m afraid to have actual sex, what I mean is I JO a lot, webcam with guys and all but when it comes to meeting up I’m afraid of catching a sexual disease. Its like I got a phobia about it.
I’m 18 and I know a lot of guys hook up and have loads of sex, and the idea of sex is great but I cant get over the fear I may fuck up my life if I catch STD, Herpes or HIV
This week I was webcamming this guy who lives nearby, it was freaking awesome but then he wanted to meet up and I had to tell him that we couldnt kiss or touch even if we used condoms. Then he was like, well bye then! That really sucked 🙁
It’s like I got a phobia now about sexual contact, and I don’t know what to do about it or how to stop it. I still live at home and I can’t tell my parents about this, what should I do?
Thanks, Corey
Hi Corey and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious about choosing sexual partners, but if you feel that is becoming extreme we recommend you seek professional advice too. There should be gay youth groups and sexual advice groups in your area, Google for them and give them a call. You will then be able to speak to someone who can give you professional advice and help on how to overcome your fears. And of course, there is an abundance of help and advice from our own dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give Corey? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
I really love sex, and have a thing for big dicks with foreskins, in fact I really hate circumcised cocks. I don’t mean to be contraversial, after all we all have our preferences right?
Im kinda at the point if I date a guy and he drops his pants and is cut then its a big turn off and disappoint for me. Sure, I get it, lots of guys out there dont like uncut cocks too and I can live with that.
But my problem is this, I don’t know whether a guy is cut or uncut when I start dating them, its not like my first question on a date, I usually leave that till the bedroom. And its not fair cause Its easy for you guys who like blond, or redheads, jocks or twinks, bears you can see all of that before you date.
I already state on my online profiles I only date guys with uncut cocks but how should I do that in a bar or club?
J.
Hi J and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. We all have our preferences and thats why there are so many different types of porn to choose from. As for dicks, there is plenty of variety there too, some of us like them all regardless of size, shape, color or whether they are circumcized or not. Others (like yourself) are more specific to their sexual desires and preferences, and that’s OK too. So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give J? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
I’m gay with an active sex life for almost 10 years now, I love sex and I can play both roles – sometimes I prefer to be top sometimes to be bottom.
The last 2-3 years something weird has started happening, when I get sexually aroused and I’m aiming to be bottom my body starts secreting some clear fluid from my ass. It’s usually as clear as water, with no odor but sometimes it is just like pre-cum.
Sometimes the amount is really small but yesterday I was flirting with a guy and felt like I needed to go to the toilet. When I sat and tried to shit, it was just from this liquid and the amount was quite a lot, about a full table spoon.
Do you think this is normal or do I need to go to some M.D?
Thanks,
Dennis
Hi Dennis and thanks for writing in with your question and concerns. While QC can’t give any actual specific medical advice, we would always recommend a professional consultation for any medical concerns such as this. That said, there may well also be readers here who have experienced this too. So dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you offer Dennis? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
So here it is, I’ve just begun online dating again after a 3 year hiatus (I needed some time just to stop dating and to concentrate on me). I found a site that I was looking for. I really want to date this time around – this meant no hook ups.
My profile was well thought out. I even had friends edit it for me. I think it’s pretty great and is a wonderful reflection of who I am as a person. I’m in my mid-30’s and pretty confident without being too cocky.
Once posted, I did get a few hits and have gone on a few coffee dates with the promise of a second date. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t.
Anyway, what I have noticed in a few of the profiles is the word “masculine” to describe what they are. I have since learned that this is actually their way of saying, that they are looking for the same.
I even had one guy tell me that he wasn’t interested in me because my photo’s made me look like I was ‘too femme’. It’s not as though I was in a pair of heels or make up, but I do have what you would call pretty facial features.
I know I’m not exactly masculine and yes I do have some feminine tendencies, but this is who I am and I don’t know how else to be, but me. I’m not overly flamboyant, but it’s probably true to say that Stevie Wonder could spot me from a mile away too LOL!
Look, I’m realistic. I’m not looking to date a Hugh Jackman type, but I’d like to date quality men who aren’t just looking for an ‘obvious bottom’ (for the record, I’m versatile). I’d even date a femme guy, but it seems they’re looking for that masculine guy as well.
Do any of my femme ‘sisters’ have this same problem? Are there any dating sites that are just for us? Do I downplay my femme qualities in my photo’s? Any advice (good or bad) would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
SB.
Hi SB and thanks for writing in with your interesting question and topic. We’re very sure that all men and women have differing scales of feminine/masculine qualities and we say the world is a much better place because of that too! Lets face it, how dull and uninteresting life would be if we were all the same, right? But it certainly sounds like you’re finding it quite challenging to find a guy with the qualities you prefer. So dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you offer SB? Do you know of any specific sites, apps or places that would make his search easier? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
I’m a 24 year old newly sober guy (rehab, AA meetings, the whole shebang) and any individual I meet seems to be un-attracted to the fact that I choose not to drink alcohol or use drugs.
So, what’s wrong with the sober guy?
Thanks,
DL.
Hi DL and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. We don’t see anything wrong with sober guy’s and in fact it’s a positive quality to have if you have made these personal choices. We do realize it’s common that in the gay bar/club scene there is recreational use of drink and drugs, and as you know, that can lead to dependency. But just because there is a drink/drug scene that doesn’t mean everyone is into that, nor does everyone want a partner who is into that. We are sure there are plenty of sober guys who want to be with sober guys too! So dear QC readers why do you think DL is being turned down? Is it that his age group all want to party? Is he seen as too conservative because he is now sober? Where would be the best place for DL to find guys who like sober guys and what advice would you give? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years now. We have a wonderful relationship, but the one thing that has been an issue for us is his cell phone use. My boyfriend runs his own business and has an incredibly needy gay client that texts him at all hours of the day every day of the week.
It got to a point where it started to bother me and I asked my boyfriend to ask his client to ease up on the texting because it was disrupting dates and vacations and I never felt like I had his full attention. For two years I was assured that absolutely nothing was going on between the two of them so I just bit my tongue and believed that the texting would only be during business hours.
Well, nothing changed, and one night I was just sick of seeing his client’s name flash across the screen throughout the night. I just followed my instinct and looked through his messages and my instinct was correct, message after message of dirty sexting and picture messaging that goes back as far as our relationship goes. I confronted my boyfriend about him lying to me for 2 years and I was told that he took his “sexting” with this client too far and I was assured that it was only messaging and nothing physical occurred between the two of them. This of course, broke my heart because every other aspect of the relationship is perfect outside of this issue with the cell phone and the inappropriate messaging.
This occurred about six months ago and I want to trust my boyfriend, but I don’t trust his client and the texting at all hours of the day is still the same. I love my boyfriend and the relationship we have, but because of what I discovered 6 months ago, I’m having trouble trusting that my boyfriend isn’t still sexting right in front of me. And what’s worse is that he is very vigilant over his phone, it’s always face down, password protected, and it never leaves his side. My boyfriend and I have had conversations about how he handles his phone and how much his texting is disrupting our relationship, but it always turns into a conversation about me invading his privacy.
I wish we could work out some open cell phone policy or he could have his client email instead of texting if it’s outside normal business hours because every time my boyfriend gets a text from him it takes a lot of energy for me to bite my tongue and not ask to see what the text message says.
Any advice is appreciated, I’m close to breaking point over this and I don’t want this to completely ruin our relationship!
J.
Hi J. and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Trust takes a long time to establish but can be broken in a moment can’t it? And in your case, that trust has taken a knock with your boyfriends constant sexting and will take time to heal. Do you now need an open cell phone policy to regain that trust? Or will your boyfriend see that as an invasion of his privacy? If you are still not happy with your present situation (and it certainly sounds like you aren’t happy) then you will need to discuss this again with him and set out the boundaries that will make you feel more secure and also allow him to regain that broken trust. How you approach this situation is open to debate, so dear QC readers have any of you been in a similar situation like this before? How did you handle it and what advice can you offer J? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
A few weeks ago there was a letter from a guy going to Europe and he wanted to know about working uncut dicks – I have the opposite problem 🙁
I’m Australian uncut and will be on student exchange to the US in the fall this year – I’ve never had a cut dick so I’m a bit aprehensive.
I know a dick is a dick, but when I wank and when I’ve worked other guys cocks with a foreskin I know what to do. I don’t think sucking should be a problem, but its masturbation, I love to wank a guy off so do I have to use lube? Or spit? Or neither? Do I just wank the shaft and not the head?
Yeah I’ve watched a lot of porn too, but they all seem to use lube and its not something I’ve used for that (and I wont be traveling with it) – I’m not really “out” either so I don’t want to be always carrying lube with me (is that what guys do there?)
So if you can help me with this one, at least I will know what to do when I get to the US, cant wait to be there and get my hands (and mouth) on your cut dicks – but yeah I want to do it right for you fellas too 🙂
Thanks, Tate xoxo
Hi Tate and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Seems like a perfectly logical question to ask and we’re sure there are lots of guys who’d like to help you with this! So dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give Tate? If you can help him in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice with all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
I’m in my mid-40’s and been around the block a few times sexually, or at least I thought so until recently. I was in a long term relationship until last year when after 14 years things just fell apart and we realized that we were no longer compatible (he was still into doing a lot of recreational drugs and partying as though we were still students, whereas the reality is that I hold down a senior management position and high pressure job)
Part of my release from the stresses of work has been having a great sex life, and after splittling from my ex, I was missing that from my life too. So I decided to try some hook up sites and apps, which really opened up a new door to me (the apps weren’t around when I got into my LTR). I’ve really been enjoying the diversity out there, really I have, but I even surprised myself recently when this super hot younger guy (22) asked if he could be my sexual slave/servant/submissive.
Not having tried that before I thought I would give it a go and actually really got turned on by the fact here is this guy who will do anything I want sexually. He actually wants to be abused both verbally, physically and sexually to the point where I call him insulting names and degrade him. He says he wants to be dominated and humiliated, and its strange because although I have never had any feelings towards doing this to another guy before, its as though something has been “unlocked” in me sexually. I get a “high” from it and he does too. We have really long sessions (3-4 hours) and afterwards we both feel really good about things, he’s a very sweet guy and I treat him with the utmost respect outside of the bedroom.
He now wants me to piss on him, spit in his face and beat him harder (we have just been doing mild spanking). I’m not sure how far this will go but I’m willing to try as I want to be a better (or badder depending on how you look at it) Master in these situations with him.
My questions is this, how can I improve in being a hot dominant Master/Daddy? I want to be able to surprise him and take things up to another level – I’m pretty new at this so even though I’ve checked out the sites on QCX and I think it would be really great to hear from other QC readers here who are experienced at this and can pass on their best tips – thanks guys, appreciate it much!
Theo
Hi Theo and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. There are so many different aspects and genres to gay sex aren’t there? And sometimes, perhaps a new experience is all it takes to discover that you actually really enjoy that too! So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give Theo? Are you into Master/Slave role play or do you just enjoy dominating your partner or being humiliated by him in the bedroom? What works in these situations and what doesn’t? What would you suggest for Theo to bring things to the next level? If you can help in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
S. got back to us to let us know that he has put your advice to good use! Thanks for getting back to us and let us know how your quest to tame the ‘skin continues…!
Hey, QC, a couple people wanted to know how things went after I posted my question…
I’ve gotta say, it’s been great!! I’ve been in Barcelona now for 2 weeks, and wow, Europeans are much less inhibited than Americans that’s all I gotta say! Not that I’m complaining….
So, thanks to all of the advice I got, I wasn’t afraid about approaching an uncut cock and things have worked out…. well, very well!
So, thanks to everyone who responded, thanks to the QC team (you guys are awesome!) Gracias y besos para todos.
S
The original Ask QC:
Hey there, Ask QC,
I’m an American guy, and to this point I’ve only ever encountered cut cocks.
I’m about to go to Europe for a year, and I guess most guys in Europe are uncut… and I don’t know how to approach an uncut cock.
Is there a difference if I’m giving him a blowjob? And what about if I let him fuck me? Is there that much difference between cut vs. uncut?
If there’s any special tricks that will help me drive him over the edge, please share!
Thanks.
S
Hi S and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. There’s a long running debate regarding the differences and preferences between circumcised and uncircumcised cock’s, but here at QC we like to think that we all just love cock no matter what! Everyone has their preferences of course and we respect that, but this is an interesting question to pose particularly as you will be in Europe for a year. And so, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you offer S? If you can help in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
Would you say that ‘sexting’ is cheating? I’m steady dating my current boy friend for just over a year now, but I dated a lot before I met him so some of my former bf’s sometimes send texts and flirt a bit.
My current bf knows I text a lot but he says going too far and sexting is cheating, I don’t really see it like that, it’s just messing around and having a laugh, but he’s now told me to stop – is that fair?
DT
Hi DT and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Any relationship has to have its boundaries clearly drawn out, and this doesn’t necessarliy happen immediately when two people first get together. Swapping flirtatious text messages with former boy friends may be seen as over stepping the line in some relationships, in others it may not been seen as that. So its imporatant to establish those boundaries and rules and something you both need to do and agree upon together. What may seem like some innocent fun to one person may feel more serious to another person, so respecting each others views is imperative if you are both to establish trust together. So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give DT? Have you been in this situation with your partner before? Is ‘sexting’ cheating or not? If you can help in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
I know this might sound a bit weird, so I’m not sure if anyone can help with this problem!
I love my boyfriend, love him to bits really I do. We’ve been living together for 2 years, but dated for a year before that. We’ve actually known each other for nearly 7 years and I do really feel like he’s my other half and my life long pal. We’re both 28, working hard and long hours and noticed that around 6 months ago I started to go off having sex.
I love to kiss and cuddle with him, but I really don’t like to have sex with him at all. Which is a problem for him rather than me – he says he needs it at least a few times a week or he gets frustrated. But for me, I just feel like I would be going through the motions of having sex just to please him, I know that sounds selfish of me but I just don’t feel the need for sex, or anything when we do it.
I know that this is causing a rift between us, which I obviously don’t want but other than I just bend over and spread my legs for him, I can’t seem to think of a realistic solution to this.
My friends have suggested that we have an open relationship, but I’m a bit reluctant to do that – I know that I’m an extremely jealous personality. They’ve also suggested that we split up as a couple and just remain friends, but that seems like giving up too easily, especially as we get along so well in everything else in our lives together.
If you’ve got any ideas what to do then we could at least give those a try before we throw the towel in. I do really love him but just don’t know how to like sex with him.
Thanks for your help guys,
Harrison
Hi Harrison and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Reaching out for help and advice will give you some more ideas and options to handle your difficult situation and hopefully find a remedy. There should be some readers here who have felt the same way during different times in their lives too, so, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give Harrison? Have you been in this situation with your partner before? What did you both do to overcome this? If you can help in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
I’ve been seeing this guy as a fuck buddy for a few months now. I’m a bottom and he’s top and at first it was really great he would call me late at night, I would go over there and we would fuck like crazy for hours!
But recently this last few times, he’s not the one initiating the call, and when I phone or text him he says he’s too tired. But I still end up going over there, that’s what fuck buddies are for right? Anyway, last night, for me, was the final straw he really got me mad! Instead of him fucking me he just got a dildo out of his drawer and said he would use that instead as he was too tired to fuck me – I felt really insulted and stormed out!
When I got home I texted my friend about it and he just laughed and said, to get another fuck buddy or to at least let this guy rest up a bit! Damn! OK I know I’m a hungry and energetic bottom, but surely a top should be able to get it up at any time and fuck there and then right? Why the heck would anyone need to use a dildo on me when they have the real thing between their legs? Jeez!
Of course, yes I can look for another fuck buddy, but I really like this guys cock, it’s seriously long and thick and (at least up until recently) our sex has been mind blowing! And he has an amazing body, his abs are rock hard, which is a pity because his cock wasn’t!
So my question is, seriously is this normal behaviour for a top when he is tired to pull a dildo out of the drawer and then start using that on a bottom? If you’re that tired can’t you just get it up and then lie back, I will do all the rest of the work and fuck your brains out! And anyway, on the Apps, where did all the decent tops go? Why are there so many bottoms now? Gawd! What’s a decent bottom got to do now to get his ass filled?
Thanks guys,
Cooper
Hi Cooper and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Well, there are quite a few questions and issues there aren’t there? So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you give Cooper? Have you been in this situation with your fuck buddy before? What did you both do to overcome this? If you can help in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and we’re talking about moving in together. I’m 24 and he’s 26. We are in a monogamous relationship and have both been tested several times even though we never had unprotected sex with anyone else. We just started having sex without a condom, after we got tested again for everything, on our one year anniversary when we made a true commitment to each other and decided we wanted to have condomless sex. I love him so much that it’s hard to put into words.
The problem we have was recent. I was fucking him and all of a sudden it felt a bit different on my dick – then when I looked, I noticed there was shit on my dick. I didn’t know what to do so I waited for him to cum and then I came too. It wasn’t until after we finished that he knew that he had got shit on me. This has never happened to us before no matter who was top or bottom. We were both really embarrassed when it happened and have had a hard time talking about it since then and this has really affected our relationship.
We have now been blowing each other and going to sleep when we stay over each others apartments. He won’t let me rim him anymore even when he’s just got out of the shower and he’s stopped rimming me too. We don’t even finger each other now when we blow each other anymore. I tried to finger him and he pushed my hand away which made it hard for me to cum because it was so awkward. We just kiss, blow each other and go to sleep.
I know this must have happened to other guys so I’d like to know how to move on from it. It really wasn’t that big of a deal to me, he doesn’t gross me out. It’s not like I’m into shit or anything like that, but his shit just didn’t gross me out. And it’s not like I didn’t know that there is shit up his hole sometimes even though I’ve never been in contact with it. Depending on the comments I get, I’d like to show him this as a way for us to talk about it and move on and not worry about it again.
We went from talking about getting married to all of a sudden acting like strangers sometimes. This is serious and I would appreciate any help,
Thanks.
Brandon
Hi Brandon and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Sex isn’t always as clean or straight forward as we see in the movies is it? Sometimes we can’t control our bodies during sex and it makes noises or does things that can range from funny, hilarious to embarrassing and humiliating. Getting both partners to the same comfort level can take time, especially when we experience things for the first time and are unsure how to act or react to those situations. So it’s natural when an event occurs we aren’t expecting we can’t predict our reactions or outcome until we’ve actually been through that experience. For sure there are those who have suffered the same as you and your partner, and they’ll also be those who have had no problems with this too. Some may make light of the situation, but it’s a real enough and serious enough problem to be affecting you both so let’s hope there is enough kind advice here to help. So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you offer Brandon and his partner? If you can help in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
I don’t know from where should i start…….well I met the most amazing guy in the world. he is kind, nice, has a beautiful smile and is so humble. He is 26 years old and works with me in the same company. We treat and appreciate each other in a good way. I have strong feelings for him that I’ve never felt before for a guy. I mean yeah I’ve had several crushes but deep down I knew that they were just crushes and they will go away. I love everything about him, as a matter of fact, sometimes it feels like looking at myself in the mirror. He is a shy person (like me), he likes to smile at people’s faces when he says Hi, he also likes to help his colleagues without waiting for anything in return (he is a giver) even if he is tired. We were born in the same month (December), well he is one year older than me. I care for him a lot and I feel the same way (as much as I think). We smile at each others faces and sometimes we make little chit chat too.
Once, when I traveled, I decided to bring a gift for him, something really simple and not expensive as I like to bring gifts for my close colleagues. Sometimes I also like to bring along some breakfast to the office and invite my colleagues to eat together. Whenever I do that, I invite him of course. But recently, especially now, I have noticed that he has changed a lot since I gave him the gift and invited him to eat with us. He is ignoring me a lot.
When he sees me entering from the front door of the company office, he pretends that I don’t exist. Once I had to hand over some work to his secretary and he was standing beside me and very close (less than a couple of inches) but he didn’t say Hi or anything at all – he just totally ignored me and then entered his own office. Whenever he enters my office to hand over some work to my colleagues or consult them about something, he doesn’t say hello or anything and pretends that I don’t exist, he doesn’t’ even look at me. He seems pretty much nervous when he’s around me and he was putting his left hand in his left pocket. Another time he entered my office handed over some work discussed something and I was actually looking at him and I was just so excited to say Hi (I know, I know, a stupid move but I couldn’t hold myself back) and then he looked at me, gave me the most cold feeling and dark look that I have ever saw in my life (more like a poker face).
Hi, I want to be able to live a gay lifestyle openly – and by that I mean with everyone.
My family already knows that I’m gay but none of my friends do. This is because I really find it very difficult to make friends, and honestly I actually only have a small handful of friends at best.
I realize it’s a big risk coming out and for those people that don’t want to know me because of that, well I don’t care if I lose them. But those few really close friends that I have, well if I told them and then I lost them because of this, then I would then be totally devastated if they no longer wanted to be friends.
What should I do?
Signed, Secretly Sad 🙁
Hi and thanks for writing in to Ask QC with your questions and concerns. Coming out is something that almost all gay men and women find a difficult and daunting task. You’ve already made the first step to come out to your family and you’re blessed to have some dear and close friends too. It’s understandable to be fearful and to be reluctant to come out to all at this time, as you do not wish to risk losing your friends. The topic of coming out is as varied as everyone’s own particular set of circumstances but here are some previous ‘Ask QC’s’ that have dealt with the topic which you may find as a useful resource; When Is the ‘right’ age/time to ‘come out’?, Am I too old to “come out”?, How to Come Out as Bi, Low Libido, Depressed and In The Closet… Help!, How can I come out to my parents?, My parents made me leave home because I’m gay.
So, dear QC readers, what tips and advice can you offer? Where you in this situation before? How did you overcome this? If you can help in any way, then please share your wisdom and advice for all in the QComments section! Need advice? Just send in your questions and the QCollective will get you some answers!
