He plays Rugby League professionally, Rugby Union professionally, and is a champion heavyweight boxer. New Zealand’s Sonny Bill Williams is a man who’s in need of many expert blowjobs with swallow, preferably after a match or a sweaty training session, and given the notoriety of his opponent flattening shoulder-charges, you really wouldn’t want to argue with him.
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The South Sydney Rabbitohs are a top team in the National Rugby League – Australia’s most popular football code played across almost all states. Nearly bankrupt a couple of years ago, none other than Russell Crowe bought the team and attends all training sessions and matches.
One thing never in question has been team bonding, with super studs like Sam Burgess (kissing a teammate, above and shirtless, after the jump), Dave Taylor (massive stud next down from Burgess), and Adam Reynolds (heavily inked handsome dark spiky haired one) always up for a cuddle and a kiss with each other, on field or off.
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In response to Seth MacFarlane’s controversial “We Saw Your Boobs,” the YouTubez have composed this straightforward-but-awesome parody, “We Saw Your Junk” about the famous faces whose balls we’ve all been jerking off to since we were eight. Because you guys have proven so good at guessing dicks, we thought we’d make a game out of it. How well do you know your celebrity cocks? Surely there are men-in-the-buff movie buffs among you.
Here’s the deal. After the jump, we’ve included eight birthday-suited celebrities. Seven of them come from the above video (that’s the easy part). The bonus round is where things get tricky. One of the eight is a random nudie pic from the wide world of naked cinema. Can you guess it? We’re looking for celebrity and movie. If you guys manage to guess them all correctly, we’ll release a plethora of pictures. Get to it, QueerClickers!
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(Because no Oscar post is complete without a nod to Bjork’s swan dress)
Whelpppp guys, it’s happened. We finally live in a world where Anne Hathaway wins awards for singing. Dark days, indeed. You caught the Oscars, right? Jennifer Lawrence fell on her face while remaining charming and adorable as ever. Seth MacFarlane made some questionable jokes. Most importantly, though, the Hollywood Gamorati was out in full force, which means we’ve got some stud-gazing to do.
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If you’re an armpit man, you’re gonna love Ben Provisor, extremely handsome member of the 2012 USA Olympic Greco-Roman wrestling team who is built like a gladiator. His favorite quote is “My game come down to one thing: man against man.” Words to live by.
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I’ve got a treat for you, QueerClickers. To be totally honest, I’m never sure exactly what to say about Pavel Petel, other than that I’ve been fascinated with him and his work since I first laid eyes on it. He’s awesome, outrageous, and always sexy as hell. Fortunately, the artist/performer took some time to sit down with me, so I have the luxury of letting Pavel talk for himself!
If you’re just discovering him, take a minute to click over to his tumblr and see what all the fuss is about. Because this stud and his work are definitely worth fussing about. I mean, seriously, check out those biceps. And that ass! Strap yourselves in for a wild ride.
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These are dark days, QueerClickers. In his recent H&M commercial (below), David Beckham gets locked out of his house and has to run through the streets in his underwear, fulfilling his public nudity obligation for the year and giving gay teens wank material for months to come. The catch is, like everything else to come out of Hollywood in the recent past, the commercial wasn’t real! *Gasp!* H&M admits that Beckham used a body double, though they claim that it was strictly due to scheduling conflicts. If David Beckham of all people needs a butt double, what hope is there for us mere mortals? Is nothing sacred anymore?! See if you can spot the double after the jump.
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Good news, everyone! Something worthwhile has come from Sunday’s Beyonce Concert…er, I mean Super Bowl. Ultra-hunk Mario Lopez lost a Super Bowl bet to his Extra co-host Maria Menunos. As punishment, he had to run through the streets of LA in nothing but his underwear and a Ravens helmet, as passersby swooned in appreciation. Let’s take a few moments to drool, shall we?
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So, I guess Bam Margera has a “rap” “song” “now?” Honestly, guys, I don’t even really know what to say about this video other than that Bam reveals himself to be a poet and all-around truth-sayer. Memorable lyrics include “Bend my dick to my ass/so I can fuck myself” and “tittyfuck my ass cheeks.” Who knew that Bam Margera was the Elizabeth Bishop of our modern era? The video’s real payoff comes at 2:44, when Bam pees in his own mouth. I’m desperately praying that this means we can expect another season of Viva La Bam.
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Few were surprised when Jacob (“Jake”) Dalton trounced the competition to easily win QueerClick’s Pole Position Hottest Olympic Gymnasts poll last August. Dude is hot — no argument.
What’s a mystery to me is why hardly anyone ever mentions Jake’s Team USA teammate Jonathan Horton, who, for my money, is just as sexy as Jake, if not more. While Jake has the sapphire blue eyes of a Davidoff model and the body of a, well, of an Olympic gymnast, the chunkier, stockier Jonathan has a more cornfed look, the kinda guy who lifts a lot of hay bales and buys himself a new pair of jeans maybe every other year, if he ain’t too busy on his X-Box.
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Holy Jailbait, Batman! It looks like Justin Bieber might be making the Zac Efron-style transition from twinky Hilary Swank lookalike to actual stud. The increasingly sexy singer — who is 18 now, by the way — has taken to strolling around in his underwear, and with a body like that, who can blame him? I’m imagining that like Zac Efron before him, this guy is going to fill out nicely in the next few years. What with his tattoo obsession and everything, Justin Bieber is poised to make the graceful leap from Tiger Beat to wet dream. Can you imagine what’s going on between his legs? I’m patiently waiting for his dick pic to surface.
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Mark Salling, who plays Puck on Glee, is being sued by an ex-girlfriend for allegedly forcing her to have sex without a condom. In the lawsuit, Roxanne Gorzela claims that back in March 2011, the pair began their four-legged frolic (a euphemism for sex that I just made up) and Mark ignored her request to wrap it up. Gorzela claims that he ignored her again when she asked that he pull out and that the TV star finished sans-phrophyliactic.
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We seem to be on a bit of a history kick this week, don’t we? As I was cruising around eBay earlier, looking to add to my already sizable collection of commemorative cookie jars and children’s Halloween costum- err… I mean, normal stuff, I stumbled across this gem of a collectable. The original leather jacket worn by Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain (2005) is up for auction, and cheap. Plus, it turns out that the seller is none other than a former QC writer, Walt, who wrote for us back when we were but a baby blog. It’s fate!
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Well, folks, James Franco is at it again. In addition to his film Interior. Leather Bar, Franco is producing a documentary about Kink.com, one of the largest purveyors of fetish porn. The film debuts at Sundance next week. Mixed feelings about this documentary are more than justified, but at least he’s hopped off the gay community’s dick for a second.
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Admittedly, Cheyenne is so hot that this isn’t much of a Porn Break, but I suspect this the kind of rope-a-dope that QueerClickers dream of. Cheyenne Jackson released this song several weeks ago, and my huge celebrity crush on this hottie continues to deepen. Before long, you’ll catch me hiding in the bushes outside his house, binoculars in one hand and lubricant in the other. Honestly, I’d be there already if the soft glow of my laptop screen wasn’t such a surefire giveaway. And frankly, I wouldn’t do very well in prison.
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Sporno (noun): Sport played by sweaty, muscular men who are so off-the-charts fucking hot that the experience of spectating is akin to watching porn. Often, masturbation is required after or even during the experience. Welcome to the first installment of QueerClick’s weekly Sporno spot.
This week’s Sporno star is David Pocock, a gentle giant who plays the violently high impact game of Rugby Union. David is from Australia, where the game is popular (it’s also played in the UK, France, South Africa and New Zealand, but has never really caught on stateside). He stands over six feet tall and weighs in at around 230 pounds, so in other words, he’s bigger than your refrigerator.
He would probably kindly refuse your offer to suck his dick, even if you offered to lick the post-game sweat off his balls as part of the bargain, since he’s happily partnered with his girlfriend of seven years. And here’s the clincher: he’s gone on record as refusing to marry his girl until full marriage equality is passed into Australian law. Check out the clip after the jump to see him talking eloquently about his love for his gay friends and the need for change – all the while dressed in a dashing button down blue shirt.
Behold.
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