PataPORN With Chinpoko!

Boy! Have I been working hard this week! I really think I’m the hardest working stiff in the porn business. Get it? Stiff? Ahahaha… ha… ahem… Alright already, enough with my jokes because it’s PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

CFNM.net: Detention(3)
Talk about a gender fuck! CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male) spotlights one of its hottest lil’ twinks—Todd. This kid is adorable, but you’ll never guess the things Miss T puts him through.
I’m usually not a fan of strap-ons, but Miss T pulls it off with class. Yes, I just used “strap-on” and “class” in the same sentence. When you watch the video you can totally tell Todd likes sucking her cock, even though he “acts” like he doesn’t. And when she fucks him! Ah, man his face! PATA PATA PATA!
One thing though, Clothed Female Nude Male??? That seriously has to be the lamest name for a porn site ever. Come on you people, get creative. What would you think if I called this feature “Porn Review”? Exactly.

Dirty Tony: Angus
Good thing I’m not vegetarian, because this lil’ dick wants some beef… Angus Beef!!!!
Angus is just delectable. Those eyes, those teeth, and THAT BIG FAT COCK! PATA PATA PATA! This kid loves beating off. I mean loves it. He goes on forever and ever. Also, his technique is incredible. He mixes up the stroking with fast and slow, palming, and delicate fingers. This dick was impressed and really hard watching him go to town on himself. In fact, I was a bit jealous. I mean, I don’t have hands; I have to get off the “hard way”… no hands.
Hahaha! Get it? “Hard Way.” I’m the funniest prick ever!
Seriously though, a tantalizing part of this video is Angus’ cheeks—by which I mean his facial cheeks. Although his ass cheeks are nice too! I love how he gets so flushed, especially when he cums. Yummers! All that nice cum on his teddy bear tummy. PATA PATA!
Hottest post of the week!

Get Hot And Sticky In Bum Tropics
This worries me.
So you’re telling me that now our society needs video game cock instead of the real thing? What’s going to happen to me? What ever happened to the idea that you “CAN’T BEAT THE REAL THING?” If a video game of Chinpoko comes out, would you still want me? Oh God! Great, so now I’m useless right? You don’t need me? You’re just going to jack off to this imaginary world and forget about the real thing… ME!
It’s official. I hate this game… (sniffle) you bastards.

Cocky Boys: Ridge Michaels and Brodie
BROOODIE!!! I LOVE BROOODIE! I’M SO EXCITED TO WATCH HIM!!!!
The video begins with and Brodie standing at a steering wheel of some boat. They both wear cute underwear. It looks like a gay version of Gilligan’s Island. Correction: a GAYER version of Gilligan’s Island. I’m already getting a chubby and then they talk…
Ridge: That trip was really good.
Brodie: Really fun.
Ridge: Thanks for taking me out on your boat.
Brodie: You can thank me a later.
Both: Let’s go!
Really… really? This is the opening? Then they spend then next minute walking down to the bedroom of the boat.
Really? We don’t need to see a minute of walking. Just fade in and fade out! The audience will go there with ya! We get it. They’re going to fuck on boat. Now slap a Donald Duck hat on one of them and get to it! This wasted time does nothing but make me loose my chubby. Seriously folks, if dialogue isn’t either a) funny or b) good, then just nix it. Trying to be artistic and actually being artistic are two different things.
Then the video starts to get a bit better. Ridge sucks the hell out of Brodie’s thick cock; Brodie’s expressions and moans are great.
However, the best thing about this video is Ridge as a bottom. It’s worth seeing. That boy can ride. During the middle of the video, he sways his ass back and forth as Brodie pushes deeper. It made me precum a bit.
The rest of the video is just awkward though. I don’t like the location; because it’s on a real ship, the camera work and lighting are seriously lacking. We never get a good view of Brodie’s cock inside of Ridge. And you know I wanted to see that!!
Hot boys, but the film crew was lacking on this one folks.
P.S. I wish they had kissed. I want to see Brodie’s lips in action.

QC FYI: Premature Ejaculators Numb Up To Get Down
Now you’re numbing me? I mean, I get it—you don’t want to blow your load so quickly… I really do. But numbing me? First the video game now this? How is that going to make me feel? You mean, you’re going to spray me so I can’t feel the wondrous ass that I’m plowing? I’ll feel those fingers wrapped around my shaft, but it’ll never feel like the first time—when I felt everything! What am I, some lil’ blood engorged fleshmound that you can have your way with? I see how it is! I’m just a toy to you. Something without feelings! Well I HAVE needs dammit! Well screw you people! I don’t need this! I don’t need you! Yeah, who’s the dick now? Who’s the dick now BITCHES???!!!
Ah, go play your freakin’ virtual sex video game your traitors!!!!
EDITOR:On behalf of the entire QueerClick family, we would like to apologize to Chinpoko’s faithful readers. Unfortunately, Chinpoko has refused to sign off this week. In fact, our own little princess of penises is sulking in the corner. Oh crap! He just knocked over the water cooler and is trying to hit Toby. We got a rogue dick in our hands folks. While we go take care of this, why don’t you get out there and get turned on?