NOTE: You’ll wanna watch this in full screen. Back in February we introduced you to the music videos and PSAs of Christiaan Van Vuuren—a quarantined tuberculosis patient calling himself the Fully Sick Rapper. He’s doing much better now (thanks for asking)—he’s out of quarantine and surprised by his large number of gay YouTube fans.
And even though he’s straight, he still very appreciates your love—after all, who else in quarantine would call him “a big tasty hairy man-God”? So he and his brother have decided show their love by doing just about the gayest thing they can imagine—fighting a mixed martial arts battle in a skimpy pair of Superman undies.
We’d suggest you jump to 6:36 to catch Christian’s ridiculously sexy brother in action, but then you’d miss all the hilarity that comes before it, like Samwise and Frodo from The Lord of the Cockrings spanking and jerking each other off. Smart, sexy, funny, a fan of 8-bit games, and a literary dork. Sigh… why does the Fully Sick Rapper have to be straight? Oh well… nobody’s perfect.
Pornos aren’t exactly known for their theatrical mastery. It’s too bad actually because some porn flicks are downright comical, especially when they’re trying to be serious. We stumbled across this YouTube collection of hilariously awful porn acting. And not only do they feature some of our favorite old-timey porn stars, but they also feature blatant sexual harassment and lines of dialogue so horrendous you won’t know whether to laugh or cum.
The title of this film must be Never Trust A Twink or Golddigging Twink Anger Fuck 4. In it a 38-year-old twink pretending to be 18 brags to his Latino pal Pedro about milking some sugar daddy for all he’s worth. Hey Pizza Face! Instead of fucking your John for a Sony Playstation and tickets to the summer rock festival, how about trying to score some Acutaine? That shit’s expensive, especially when you still have acne at age 34. We especially like the sugar daddy’s smug, self-satisfied expression when he catches his twink at 1:06. You can tell he thinks he’s pretty clever because he makes a face like he’s trying to hold in a poop. But why is he playing smooth jazz? Doesn’t he know that twinks only like electronic throw-up music?
Not only is Tuck Johnson stupid enough to think that an electrical box is round, but his co-worker sounds like he learned his lines phonetically and doesn’t actually know what they mean in English. Plus, how is it that Tuck got hired off of Santa Monica Boulevard but doesn’t know what a glory hole is? Any homosexual who’s older than 12 knows what a glory hole is and they know not to stick their eye in one either. No wonder more experienced gay electricians end up fucking Tuck in the ass—gotta love his facial expression though. Somebody retroactively give this boy a GayVN Award.
Remember Chase Hunter? He had a HUUUUUGE fucking dick—like crazy large. No wonder he was the starring role in Falcon’s Basic Plumbing 2 and 3. Now you can see the acting that made him famous only for having a big dick. In this clip he plays the boss of a plumbing company or a dance troupe… we guess. Who cares? Anyway, he’s proud of his new employee. But then Chad Hunt goes and ruins things by sexually harassing the newbie before the ink’s even dry on his contract. Not only is the newb not having any of it, but he also sounds like Dolph Lungren playing the scary Soviet boxer in Rocky 4. Luckily, Cha and Chase are members of the Big Dick Club and don’t need to take such little bitches so seriously… must be nice.
The facial reactions in this clip couldn’t be any better if Walt Disney himself animated them (we did hear that Disney was a bit of a perv). We like how his daddy taught him not to be ashamed of his big dick, but didn’t bother teaching him how to masturbate without tearing the skin off his cock. What sort of father does that? And even creepier, the other guy’s dad taught him how to suck a dick! Who the fuck are these fathers? Hmmm… their fake accents do sound kinda southern, so maybe they’re inbred.
And as an added bonus, we have two equally horrible if not worse 1980’s gay porn clips after the jump!
As if all the dicks weren’t enough, here’s a video of the Randy Blue studs lip-synching and dancing to Kylie Minogue… y’know, just to make this gay porn site even gayer. You’ll see oodles of your favorite stars getting all jiggy with the camera including Dallas Evans, Travis James, Malachi Marx, Riley Price, Reese Rideout, Cayden Ross, Nicco Sky, Diego Sans, and Chip Tanner (a lot of the same studs who danced together on Halloween ). Now only if they’d dance together naked and with cumshots, we’d have gay porn gold! Manholes and Minogue—no card carrying homo could resist!
The guy in this video illustrates why we don’t endorse drug use (unless those drugs are caffeine, cigarettes, or Boone’s Strawberry Hill). This naked anti-hero basically terrorizes a Russian parking lot by ripping the windshield wiper off a van, jumping on the rooftops of parked cars, and then picking fights with local drivers. You can get a good look at his butt and bits while figuring out if you love him or despise him. We’re kinda on the love side, but only because he’s absolutely bonkers and looks so cute in the fetal position.
Another friend of ours wondered if this was a viral video ad for a 2016 Russian Olympic bid. “Moscow 2016: Train however you can!”
Makers of fine rape scenes pornographyRandy Blue got their LA boys to dress up and dance for Halloween—and if you like drunken pole dancing, skimpy speedos, and hot asses these tricks are a treat. You’ve got the wonderfully weird Chip Tanner, Diego Sans working that pole, Travis James as a tight end, and even Malachi Marx makes an appearance (though he was probably just doing research). Via
Whenever a muscular Latin guy with tattoo sleeves and braces ask if you wanna have nasal sex, make sure he has a condom. In fact, this helpful guy will show you just how to insert said condom into your nose and how to remove it from your mouth once you’re done. Nasal is the new anal… it’s very 2011.
Leave it to the French to cover their rugby stars in powder and make them skip through sand dunes and lay down naked upon horses while they play classical violin and shoot erotic photos for their annual Dieux du Stade calendar. Naked men and horses… quell artistique! The Dieux du Stade calendar is quite possibly the gayest athletic calendar we have ever seen, but it’s also hands down the ottest. And all their shapely butts and biceps have our balls aching for some on-field action of our own, especially if it involves getting dirty in a maniple for control of their balls—game on! More Dieux du Stade on QC: Steve Tabary in the Dieux de Stade Calendar The Making of Dieux du Stade DVD Calendar Madness:Dieux du Stade January Dieux du Stade 2006 First Look: Dieux du Stade 2008 The Making of Dieux Du Stade Calendar
Vampires can be jealous bitches, especially when they’re super gay and horny. Take Belgian pop star Timo. The blonde actor-slash-singer starred with Brent Corrigan in the indie film Judas Kiss and decided to pursue him in his Twinklight-inspired electro-pop video Like It Rough. But when Corrigan kisses some brunette chick instead of Count Cockula, the Count gets pissed, starts breaking necks, and mouth-rapes young Corrigan—it’s bloody hot but we feel sorry for the Britney Spears lookalike who plants a kiss on Timo early in the video. Timo doesn’t respond of course and you gotta wonder if the girl didn’t notice all the mascara he has on. Ooooh guru, glampires are the worst!
We already love Becks because of how often he shows off his ample bulge and briefs. But who knew the guy also has a sense of humor? Watch as Ellen Degeneres tells Beckham to make strange demands of an unsuspecting masseuse while he sits around shirtless—very tasty! Too bad Ellen’s a daytime show or else we might have been able to see Becks get a happy ending.
Via Sticky
The hilarious Taiwanese cartoonists at Next Media Animation already depicted Brett Favre sending penis pics to various women who didn’t want them. And now they’ve got Charlie Sheen going apeshit with a 22-year-old NYC hooker/porn star who he thought stole his phone and wallet. And though we find Sheen repulsive in real life, as a cartoon he’s pretty hot!
While YouTube has put the kibash on frontal nudity and tits, they seem totally OK with porn stars, dick slang, and (as our guy today proves) amazing hot asses! This Guitar Hero player is living on a prayer, but we’d rather be living face down between his magnificent buttcheeks—assmazing!
We don’t know sign language—we took French in high school… worthless! But after seeing these two sexy men make sweet love to the camera with their hands, we’re dying to learn. First there’s this mega hot kid sporting the rakish beard/ mustache combo with a hairy stripe racing down his bod. He’s gay, American, and can will teach you all the signing you need to know in order to hit on the hot deaf kid or gay guys with a deaf fetish. Because he’s so frikkin’ sexy in this vid, lots of YouTube commenters have offered to marry him, but he issued this following comment:
“THANK YOU everyone, Especially all you boys down there in South America!!!:D for your response to my video [that I made for] my “deaf” boyfriend… I am very flattered by your interests:D However, my baby boi, ANTHONY, has my heart and all my lovin. My body is HIS property….. Love you sweetheart, you are my world. Thanks for being so understanding. *BIG kisses to the love of my life!* XOXOX”
So hands off!
By the way, porn star Zack Randall contracted meningitis at the age of 3 and a half and lost the hearing in his right ear and most of the hearing in my left. He’s worn hearing aids ever since… and he’s hot as fuck.
Then there’s YouTube sensation Michael Chase DiMartino. He may fancy himself as a Womanizer who is into Lovegames, but his love of pop makes us think he might like boys too. At least we hope he does because he’s got a tight little body and a face that makes us want to read his lips with our mouth.
They say, “If you don’t like the weather in Texas, wait five minutes.” It’s always changing. Sometimes it changes into a big red dick that fucks the sky and the cowboys all try not to get wet. Of course we already know how sexy weather can be. Getting wet with a big dick in Texas? Sounds ideal!
Some queer kids get bullied into hopelessness and suicide by tormenting classmates; gay sex columnist Dan Savage started the It Gets Better project to stop that. Create a touching, reassuring video about how queer lives eventually become more fabulous and you could save a life—it’s a worthwhile cause. So no wonder Broadway decided to create an uplifting cheesy pop song out of it.
Just about every actor in New York is gay, even the straight ones. And so a bunch of ’em got together to sing about life’s wonders in optimistic, feel-good, hand-clapping glee. The video moved Z, a regular Sticky contributor from the blog Z Reveals because it hit on his own difficult coming out story:
The song was like a sharp knife and tore apart my pink envelope where I hid my old my bad memories in. I was still amazed I passed those years and kept my sanity. Even my own twin brother didn’t want to hang out with me at school. He told me I was acting very girly—I survived!!! I learned to fight. I learned to find my way. And seriously it got better day by day!!
But the cute talented singers (who exude a “can’t we all just get along” multi-culti feel) also passionately belt out optimistically vague pop lyrics like:
“There are friends yet to meet
There are songs to be sung
Beautiful sunsets and battles unwon.
There’s more to be found if you just stick around.
“Don’t give up! Your life just has begun! It gets better better better,..”
Cheesy, yes. Are we dicks for critiquing it? Yes. But the song is damned catchy and all the iTunes proceeds go to The Trevor Project a 24-hour queer youth hotline for support. Plus, seeing cute guys sing it to one another always gives us a warm tingling feeling in our happy zone; so overall it’s a win.
Savage said he is thrilled by the volume and diversity of the contributions. But…the writer has been contacted by school administrators, who are hesitant to use the site as a teaching tool because a few videos have a risque tone or contain sexual themes. Among other contributors, transsexual adult film star Buck Angel contributes a very touching (and arguably PG-rated) segment.
“I made it, and you can make it too,” Angel said, choking back tears. “There’s so much help out there today for you guys.”
He is also worried that too many participants are repeating his initial mistake, presenting a laundry list of suffering, ending with a quick “It gets better” and a goodbye.
Savage can’t control submitted videos and he shouldn’t want to in this case. Buck’s video expresses something essential to the project’s spirit. He’s not the only queer kid out there tormented by gender identity. Transsexuals exist—they regularly get laughed at, harassed, and ignored—and so it helps to have a someone speak about gender non-conformity. Buck Angel could be the start of the trans-wave in this video movement; an important step indeed!
If you’ve ever wondered how gay an Adam Glambert show is this video will show you—it’s ultra-gay… like double-rainbow gay. But all his muscley backup dancers, tight costumes, and multicolored lights are just the thigh pumping prelude for The Glitter Prince stepping down from his exalted, sweat-covered stage and bestowing a tonsil-molesting kiss on one of his eager male fans. Jump to 4:35 for the action!
Of course, we already knew that Glambert makes oral action a regular part of his show. So much in fact, that fans throw dildos at him onstage and even gay porn studios support him. It’s just because he rocks so hard and because he has an amazing bulge.
Have you learned nothing porn stars? Were the breakups of the Jarics and all the Porn Stars In Love just for our entertainment? Everyone knows that porn stars should never announce their love by appearing in a scene together—it just ends up a bloody mess.
A few days ago we announced that reality TV cowboy turned porn phenom Steven Daigle attacked his otter boyfriend Trent Locke at an LA gay bar, placing Locke in the ICU and Daigle in jail for misdemeanor battery. Daigle got released on $20,000 bail but from the look of his booking photo, he got some blood on his mouth. Did someone kick his ass or is he turning into a glampire sucking whatever man crosses his path in WeHo?
Daigle recently said, “Sorry, there’s a court case pending. I can’t talk about anything. But I will say there are two sides, and right now [Trent’s] couldn’t be further from the truth.” His court date is November 4th and if convicted he could face up to a year in jail. But has the entire story been blown out of proportion? Will anyone who actually saw the dust up come forward and tell us what happened?
Meanwhile, Locke made a short video thanking his fans for their support, iterating that he’ll be OK, and making us want to face hump him because he’s so friggin cute and butch. If Daigle’s done with you, we’re free Locke! And we won’t hit you (unless you ask, in which case you’ll be Tina to our Ike).
