Here’s the deal. A friend of mine and I went out to the local country gay bar and he saw an hot ginger guy, very buff, young and good looking. This fella was with his friends, but he didn’t seem to be with anyone or hitting on anybody. Now, my pal ain’t nothin’ to sniff at—he’s pretty cute, in good shape, and a nice guy too—he’s just a little shy.
My friend spent forever talking to me about how he should approach the guy: what should he say, how can he strike up conversation, what won’t make him sound stupid or desperate. I told him to go up, shake his hand, introduce himself, and ask him on a date but my friend said that wasn’t smooth at all. “It’s a heck of a lot smoother than being a wallflower,” I told him. He finally went over to talk to the fella when I said, “Hot guys wanna get asked out too.”
It didn’t really work. The ginger guy was surrounded by his friends and so my pal couldn’t really get in there. And when he did, all he did was compliment the guy’s looks and the guy just smiled and said thanks without introducing himself or paying my friend another thought. It’s occurred to me that the ginger might’ve been a jerk, but how could my friend have made a better entrance?
A lot of guys get intimidated when it comes to approaching someone that’s really hot. I keep thinking, “Why would he like me? He can get any guy he wants,” and it’s real hard to shake that. It’s even harder when you wanna go up and try and meet them. It’s so tough that these days that I don’t even pursue men any more, I just let them approach me first. But how can a guy pump himself up and feel more confident when approaching a hot stranger? The advice would help lots of fellas, I bet.
It takes a lot of guts to approach a hot stranger and introduce yourself with the hopes of getting his phone number, but it often seems like a do-or-die situation. “Fortune favors the bold”, “Nothing ventured nothing gained” and all that. But what’s the best way to do it to come off as cool, confident, and casual as opposed to clueless? Calling all players and hot guys. The hot guys especially, what can a guy do to get your number or at least charm you a bit? We’ll take any insider tricks you can muster. Please share your advice and experiences in the QComments section.
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I just started dating a guy who always seems to be horny—he kisses me at every stop light and sometimes wants to fuck about 3 times a night. I’m flattered and try to play along, but I’m the sort of guy who masturbates once a night if at all and even when I date a guy, I don’t typically fuck but once a night. I tired easily and enjoy cuddling and talking more than fucking all the time.
Don;t get me wrong—when I am in the mood and our energies synch, the sex is great! And I don’t want to discourage him because I think he’s really attractive, but I also don’t think our sex drives are evenly matched. I’m also worried that if I don’t engage in sex as often as he wants that he’ll think I’m disinterested or will leave me for someone who can. Am I weird for not wanting to have as much sex as he does? We’re similar in age, height, and weight. What’s the best way to turn him down or satisfy him without hurting his feelings or forcing myself?
Be careful what you wish for, QueerClickers. Our advice seeker has found a real sex-maniac, but he’s apparently too much to handle! And while there’s nothing wrong with saying no to sex, how can this fella keep his new stud pleased even when he’s not in the mood? Is there a amiable solution to this bedroom issue? Please share your advice and experiences in the QComments section.
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Now, before anyone says what a selfish, childish, a-hole I am, let me provide a little background. Over the years, I have given this friend many nice gifts and items I no longer need :
1) a gift certificate for a spa session, which was never used and allowed to expire
2) glassware that has never been used
3) a nice looking shirt that has never seen the light of day
4) my own used and no longer wanted camera, dvd player, other electronic items that are stashed away in a bag unused
5) movies and cd’s that have never been opened
I could go on and on, but I won’t… Maybe I’m just a horrible gift-giver, but come on, do any of those gifts really sound that bad to anyone out there???
I bought a friend a fairly nice article of clothing for Christmas. I saved a gift receipt just in case it didn’t fit properly (and, as it turned out, it didn’t). I politely informed my friend that he could return it and exchange it for a size that fits. He said that he would. Last week or so, jokingly, I asked, “so, have you returned that (item) yet?” “No, but I will…”
Seriously? come on! All you have to do is go to the store and return it! It’s not rocket science! Now, there is only about a week left to exchange the item, and I know he is not going to do so. It’s just going to wind up stuffed in his closet, never to be worn, until some skinny twinkie trick comes over and he lets him “borrow” it and it will never be seen again. Now, I have no qualms just saying “Hey, give me this back bi-otch” point blank, but I would like to be polite about it.
So, how can I tactfully ask for the item back. If he is not going to inconvenience himself to drive 20 minutes to a store to get an item that fits, I would very much like to get something for myself, of simply refund the money for my own use. I have FINALLY learned my lesson, and will simply not be getting this particular friend anything so nice again in the future – fool me once, shame on him; fool me over and over… well, we know where that is going…
Occasionally we get letters from readers that are just begging to be commented on. And though we take this guy’s problem seriously, it’s also kinda funny and will probably get a rise out of our opinionated readership. So it sounds like he’s learned his lesson about giving his pal gifts, but is he right to ask for his shirt back or is that just a price he has to pay unless he wants to cash in his friendship as well? Please share your advice and experiences in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send your question into Ask QC and we’ll get you some answers!
If you have not been tuning in to this unintentionally hilarious battle, Corbin Fisher has threatened to sue the pants off of everyone who has ever illegally downloaded their porn. When a gay website called Unicorn Booty expressed concerned that Corbin Fisher’s crusade could potentially out closeted gay teens the instant their parents get a legal notice for stealing “Jarrett Fucks Connor” and then try and commit suicide.
In response, Corbin Fisher’s lawyer e-mailed Unicorn Booty calling the hypothetical teenage porn pirates “thieving little shits” and saying that a resulting suicide is unlikely. Unicorn Booty’s editor then responded by posting a video of himself talking about how he attempted suicide when his parents discovered his gay porn stash.
Then the editor of The Sword weighed into the battle doubting Unicorn Booty’s story and basically saying that any closeted kid who keeps evidence of his gayness lying around risks being outed, that porn theft is wrong no matter who is doing it, and that blaming Corbin Fisher for hypothetical suicides is an illogical histrionic overreaction to a legitimate legal action.
Well now the Empress of NYC Porn, Michael Lucas has thrown in her two cents. Read what Her Majesty has to say after the jump!
I feel like a jerk just for asking this, but I know I’m probably not the only one so here goes: I’m seeing a guy with a skinny 3 or 4 inch dick. He’s a cute guy and good kisser, but I’m not sure how to work his piece. It’s easy to “deep throat”, my hand is bigger than it when jerking him off, and I don’t really feel much when he fucks me. I do like him and want to please him, but I have to admit that he’s smaller than me and most guys I’ve been with. Any tips?
What happens when a size queen falls for a smaller fella? Our advice seeker is finding out. Everyone enjoys sex no matter the size, but we’d love to hear from 3 or 4 inch men and the men who love them. How can our advice seeker rock his guy’s world? And what things might he want to keep in mind not to get too hung up on size? Please share your advice and experiences in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send your question into Ask QC and we’ll get you some answers!
My friend and I have a disagreement. I met a guy at a convention. We had drinks and made out, but after we fooled around he revealed that he had a boyfriend and that we were technically cheating. I felt pretty turned off by the information and didn’t want to hook up with him again even though he was hot and we had several days left in the conference. I had respect for him and didn’t want to help him cheat on his boyfriend, but my friend thinks that was foolish thinking on my part.
In particular my friend said, “It’s not like you’re having an affair. It’s just a trick. It’d be one thing if you were trying to have a relationship with the guy, but you just wanna have sex—so what do you care if he has a boyfriend? That’s their issue. If he wasn’t fucking you, he’d just fuck someone else.”
Call me old-fashioned, but that doesn’t sit well with me and our other friends stayed on the sidelines. So what do you think? Is either one of us right or are we both wrong and right in different ways? I’d love to hear your input!
When the cat’s away some mice do play! To be honest, we don’t usually ask tricks if they’re single. But if a guy announces he has a boyfriend before, during, or after fooling around, we might feel a little strange. On the one hand we don’t condone cheating, but on the other hand… SEX!!! So what’s it gonna be boys? The high road, the low road, or somewhere in between? Please share your advice and experiences in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send your question into Ask QC and we’ll get you some answers!
Don’t you hate it when you’re enjoying a good hearty meal and some Debby Downer starts blabbing about how meat is murder, processed ingredients ruin the environment, and globalized vegetable farming causes child labor? It may be true, but let us finish our Hungry Man microwave dinner in peace, GAWWW!!! Well, we just got news that our favorite midnight snack causes throat cancer. Way to ruin the fun, science.
According to Dr. Joykill* of Wisconsin (*not his real name), there’s been a rise in certain types of head and neck cancers among young and middle-age Americans—cancers that he believes are caused by slamming a hot dick in the back of your throat. His fun-slaughtering study says that “having six or more oral sex partners over a lifetime [was] associated with a 3.4 times higher risk for oropharyngeal cancer—cancers of the base of the tongue, back of the throat or tonsils.” He says the reason there’s an increase of these cancers is because young people love suckin’ on dongs and because of a little thing called HPV.
HPV or human papillomavirus is a virus that used to be famous for causing cervical cancer in women, but now it’s raising its celebrity stock by giving cancer to EVERYBODY!!! Oh Death, you tricky bastid! Now every time we suck a wee wee we’re gonna imagine putting our lips on the barrel of a gun. Maybe we can just all start using dental dams to give oral sex, just like the lesbians do. Or what about that HPV vaccine—can we just start giving it to everyone with a penis?
C’mon guys! Start thinking creatively so we can beat this thing. COCKSUCKERS UNITE!!!
I am an 18-year-old boy who 3 weeks ago was diagnosed with HIV. It was my first time and i was drunk and it was with my boyfriend of a few months. I am since on meds and on my way to feeling better.
The relationship has since ended and I have been talking to this guy who I really like and i’m sure he is negative but I am afraid that if I tell him my status now it will ruin what we have and it will end. I am sure that in the course of my lifetime me telling people my status will ruin some of my romantic relationships. My question is, is finding out your partners positive HIV status a deal breaker for most people?
I’m not afraid of telling him; so far when I told my close friends and family they have been surprisingly supportive and understanding. I’m just afraid of the relationship going south. So is it common for people who are HIV negative to have relations and relationships with positive people?
It’s Valentine’s Day so we wanted to help this young lad in search of love. He wants an honest and fulfilling love life, but will his HIV status send his new love south? And is there a way he can break the news without making it the centerpiece of his affection? We would suggest he read old Ask QCs like When Should I Admit I’m HIV+ and I’m Negative, Should I Date A Positive Guy?. But beyond that, what do you recommend? Please share your opinions and advice in the QComments below.
Need advice? Just send your question into Ask QC and we’ll get you some answers!
This year I’ll be turning 27 and so far have had the opportunity to experience mostly everything I’ve wanted to. However, one thing still eludes me, even after all these years. I’ve never had the opportunity to date guys.
You see, I’m not like most guys. I’m about 3 feet in height, between 50-75 pounds and am restricted to using a wheelchair for mobility. I’m fine with that. I’ve come to terms with it a long time ago. I had to if I wanted to live some sort of semblance of a happy life.
I live my life according to what is normal for me. Everyone’s interpretation of being normal is different, which makes trying to be normal futile. To me anyway.
However, with the condition that I live with, I find it hard to attract guys. I’ve done the casual thing for about a year. As they say, that got old fast. I’m ready to start something more serious, but don’t know how to go about doing it. Does anybody have any suggestions?
the.seeker
Gay guys can be pretty judgmental when it comes to physically sizing each other up. And without knowing too much about the seeker‘s condition, he may have other limitations that make dating and intimacy more challenging than the typical “Where should we eat?” So how can a guy like the seeker go about slipping into the dating pool? Is there a website? A group? Do we have any other handicapped or wheelchair bound QC readers who can share their stories of how they found a decent guy to date? Please share your advice and experiences in the QComments section.
Need advice? Just send your question into Ask QC and we’ll get you some answers!
Recently I’ve developed the balls to try hooking up online. I’ve gotten some good responses and some hot hookups, but the thing that always goes awry in this fact—none of the guys are good kissers! It ends up feeling like I’m being kissed by a dog. Could it be that these guys just aren’t interested in a good make-out session because it’s a NSA thing? Is it me or has the art of a good kiss been lost?
Trust us, the art of good kissing has not been lost. We’re pretty good kissers, if we do say so ourselves. But what about your guys? Where are the good kissers? Are good kissers born that way or trained? And how can this young kisser find men who will give him the sort of lip service he wants? Please share your advice and experience in the QComments.
Need advice? Just send your question into Ask QC and we’ll get you some answers!
I am stuck between a rock and a hard place (pun intended). I’ve become very close to a friend whom I met just over 2 years ago. Over a year ago, after a sleepless night with a swarm of butterflies in my stomach, I told him I had fallen in love with him and asked him to be my boyfriend; I was on top of the world—until he said, “I love you too but not in that way.” I started to isolate myself from others and the people I did see could tell something was wrong.
I never knew a heart could really hurt that bad. I contemplated the idea of never seeing him again because it hurt too bad to see him knowing I couldn’t “be with” him. It took a while to get past it and just accept friendship, and we’ve been good friends since. However, sometime last year, I recalled to him “You know how I feel about you” to which he responded he knew.
We continue to see other as friends a couple times a week, and we get along great—one of the best friendships I’ve ever had. Here’s my dilemma—my feelings still haven’t changed, and he knows it and he still hangs out with me. He is such a beautiful person on every level, and he’s HOT to boot. So I frequently visit the idea of just asking him if I can blow him. If I ask, will he run? If I don’t, will I regret it? They say, “It can’t hurt to ask.” Well….I don’t know what to do; next time he comes over, should he go or should I blow?
We’re glad you can turn to your QC family when you need some good advice. And here’s our first take, angel cake—we have all totally crushed hard on a close friend before, believe us; it’s almost a gay rite of passage. Your friend may seem like all that (and maybe he is), but you’re putting him on a pedestal as the end-all-be-all of gay experience. That’s bad for two reasons: one, it sells you short and reduces your self-worth to whether or not he wants to “get with” you. And two, it’s not him but what he represents that’s really got you turned on; he’s safe, he accepts you, he’s a great guy. Probably the same sort of guy you’d like to be (with)? That’s what you want, but you may be barking up the wrong tree. What do you think, QC family? Should he go for the blow and if yes, how so? And if he doesn’t how can he deal with the pain of unrequited love? Please share your experiences and advice in the QComments section!
Need advice? Just send your question into Ask QC and we’ll get you some answers!
Hi… this is going to be so obvious if he reads this… haha.
So I am a freshman at NYU, which is like gay heaven. Anyway, I am on the verge of coming out and telling my friends that I am bi. Before moving in, I was in a relationship with a girl from my high school. This lasted about a month into school. Three weeks after the breakup, I find myself smoking a bowl with two of my suitemates in their room watching television. One of them falls asleep on his bed and I am left alone with the other, who then asks to exchange massages. Clever plan. With my roommate out of town, the two of us end up in my bed, exchanging blow jobs. After a while, this becomes a weekly event, and develops into a relationship.
We are now officially secret-dating. Next year, I am considering getting an apartment instead of living on campus. The only problem is, he wants to move in with me. At the moment, I am sleeping with my roommate. But if he moves into an apartment with me it changes to living with my boyfriend. I don’t know if I’m ready for this. But he really is my best friend and I have no clue who else to ask to be my roommate anyway. I kind of feel trapped. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I don’t want to be trapped in a relationship for another year. Or be trapped in an apartment, which my homophobic parents would be paying for with possibly my future ex-boyfriend. I think it would be fucking awesome to be able to have sex whenever we wanted in our apartment, but I know that it’s a bad idea.
I am so bad at making friends. I would say that I am a pretty likeable guy. But since moving to New York, I think I have developed a social anxiety. This would probably be the reason that I’m in a relationship with my suitemate, who is basically the only friend I have… and only option I have for a roommate next year.
What the hell should I do?
Mike
PS: Does anybody know any good gay nightclubs/bars in NYC that are 18+ orrrr look the other way with crappy fakes…?
Oh college! Is any other time in life as awesomely new and hopelessly awkward? We’re not so sure that moving in Mike’s secret beau is the best option, but how’s a teenage bisexual supposed to find a decent, non-serial killer roommate in the Big Apple? And if Mike tells his boyfriend no, how can he do so without upsetting his lover. Also how can Mike find a club that will let a youngin’ through the door? NYC can be an intimidating place, especially when you’re just finding your way. Can anyone give Mike a good street map so he can find where Happiness Street intersects with Good Decisions Avenue? Yes, we just wrote that. So many questions! Leave your experience and advice in the QComments section!
Need advice? Write ASK QC and we’ll try and help you out!
Here’s the deal. I met my ex about a year ago. We really hit it off, then after a month of dating, I told him that I didn’t think I was ready to be exclusive, that I had cheated on my ex-boyfriend, was in sexual addicts anonymous, and didn’t know if whether or not I should be in an open relationship. He thought it over for a day and then called me to tell me that as he wasn’t interested in open relationship that we probably shouldn’t date. He did add however that he found me amazing and that he thought we should totally be friends.
Soon after that, I called him and told him that I regretted us breaking up because I feel like it ended a possibly great thing prematurely. He said that he needed to think about it, that we should discuss it later, and that he was going to be gone for most of the summer anyway. During that summer, I slept with an acquaintance of his (something I’m sure my ex learned about) and me and my ex never really got a around to discussing anything. It has been about 9 months since then. I have reached out to my ex a few times since then via Facebook postings and phone messages—nothing creepy or desperate—just small touches to let him know that he’s on my mind.
One time I did get a hold of him and let him know how I felt and while he said he appreciated my feeling, that he was dating someone at the time and didn’t want to lead me on. I don’t think he’s still seeing that guy anymore because a few weeks ago my ex-sent me a late night text message calling me handsome, promising to call soon and soon after sent an FB message jokingly asking me for cock pics and then asking if I was going to be attending the annual event where we met last year. He has yet to call me back.
I think the world of this guy, I really do. Not only do I regret not committing to him the first time around, but I have also undergone a lot of self-work and growth since then and I am not the same person I was back then. We really did get along very well and I feel like if we got a chance to actually date that we could make each other incredibly happy. I just want a second chance, but I don’t know how to proceed telling him how I feel without coming off as a weirdo.
Part of me dreams about sending him a gift with a long romantic note or showing up at his apartment complex with a guitarist who would help me serenade him, but either one could backfire. He’s not great about answering his phone or messages and so I’m not sure if leaving a voicemail or Facebook message is the way to go—it seems so unromantic, no? Should I leave it alone knowing that he already knows how I feel? Should I wait for him to call? Should I write him or video him a long, sincere note declaring my affection? Or should I move on?
I know I’ve made some mistakes, but we really are both good guys who I think could have a beautiful life together. I don’t want to regret not doing enough to let him know how I feel and always wondering if I could have gotten him back. What should I do? What would you do?
Thanks.
We’ve all made mistakes when it comes to romance but it seems our Romeo is ready to come clean and commit to his ex of one month. But does he have a chance at catching his attention or should he swim on in search of other fish until his ex throws him a line? And what if you were his ex? What would he need to do in order to win your heart back? Step up all you lovers with your angel wings and quivers and give this problem your best shot! Leave your experience and advice in the QComments section!
Need advice? Write ASK QC and we’ll try and help you out!
I recently met a hot guy around my age. His name is Jimmy. He’s a swimmer, a web geek, he’s funny, good looking, and he’s into me. We met at a gay bar one week when I was in town for my family reunion. We instantly hit it off because we both have dark senses of humor and are pretty sexual. We traded numbers and I promised to call him later in the week.
A few days later, I went to my family reunion and saw Jimmy there. “I went up to him and was like, “Oh no! Are you dating one of my cousins?” And he said no. After a short conversation, I realized he was the son of my older, estranged sister!
My sister and I have never really been close. She’s much older than I—she’s 45, I’m 25—and she lives in a different state. Her son Jimmy is about my age (23) and I wasn’t really around when he was born. We both had a good laugh about it, but when I jokingly asked if he still wanted to have dinner, he said, “Sure, why not?”
We had dinner and it went really well. I don’t know if it’s because we’re related or not, but we both connected like we’ve known each other our entire lives. We were drunk before he took off and we ended up kissing a bit before I stopped him and said, “Whoa. Isn’t this illegal? He said, I don’t know.” And then I asked, “Isn’t this against the bible?” And he said, “All homosexuality is.”
I told him I don’t know how I feel about dating a relative, especially my own sister’s kid! I’m pretty sure my family would disown us if they found out. We don’t have reunions very often and I have my own private life working in a small town where it’s hard to meet guys. He said he’d come and visit me, but I’m pretty sure if he does, we’ll end up doing something. He’s the sort of guy I’d like to end up with.
I don’t really have a problem with incest as long as it’s consensual, but can anyone give us any advice? I kinda feel like it is wrong, against the law or not against God’s law. And all that kinda makes it feel hot too. Is it against the law? Are we freaks? Would I be doing something wrong if we pursued a relationship? I wouldn’t normally consider it. He reads this blog too, so any advice will go to the both of us. Thanks!
Wow. They aren’t exactly the the Peters Twins, but the incestual forbidden love thing does both like a bad idea and incredibly hot. But what do you think? Can these two relatives have a genuine love connection. If so, what should they worry about? If not, why not? After all, it’s not every day that you meet a great guy, even if he is your nephew. Please share your advice and experience in the QComments section.
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I met a guy last month that is my idea of perfection. He is tall, brown hair, blue eyes, gorgeous, sexy body, and… “straight.”
We talked a lot after we met and then one night out of the blue he told me how he was attracted to me. He said that I was different and he didn’t know what it was, but that he wanted to hook up with me. Now, this guy is very well known by our mutual friends, and he said that while he wanted to be with me, it would all have to be kept under wraps. Obviously, I couldn’t imagine my luck and agreed. We hooked up a couple of more times after this and each time was amazing and erotic and I loved every second of it.
Now, he said he loved me after our first hook up and for a while after. I’m not stupid, obviously he did it just to get with me, but I couldn’t help but want to believe him. It is now a month later, and while our last “hook up” was a week or two ago, I can’t help but notice he’s been getting distant. Certain comments he’ll make that hurt my feelings, which he probably doesn’t intend, and just the fact that he always talks about girls, even when it’s just me and him.
My problem is that I hang out with him nearly every week, see him probably every other day, and I don’t want to let go of him. A perfect guy that wants to have sex with me? Hello!? But now he’s talking about getting a girlfriend and how he’s been talking to some girl and may decide to date her. I don’t know if he knows it hurts me, but I can’t help but cry inside and feel like shit when I think about the guy I’ve been seeing for a month being with some skank.
QC, I don’t know what to do. I want to be with him, and abviously he has an attraction to me that still goes on, but he’s “straight!”
Please help 🙁
John
Perfect guy, eh? Maybe not. All of his closety “I love you” stuff and girl talk sounds like the makings of an emotionally immature young guy, but we can definitely understand wanting to stay with a hot piece, even if he’s got some issues. But what do you think QueerClickers? Can John find any happiness or closure with his bi-curious beau? What’s the best way John’s pal can let John know how he feels? And how can John deal with the situation seeing as his friend is also a regular part of his social circle? So many aspects and lots of room for your advice and experience, so please share them in the QComments section.
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